Help, I think my brain keeps turning off

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At work I have to be around a lot of people. Most of my co-workers are around my age so a lot of socialization is occurring at the same time. The biggest thing I notice is how hard it is for me to stay in the moment. I tune in and out of conversations, and spend a lot of energy thinking of what I want to say next. I notice most people are easily caught up in the current conversation while I miss a lot of the subtle things others might notice.

Focusing on everything physically drains me after awhile. By the end of the night, I feel like I can't process most of the things going on around me. I'll feel down and self-conscious, to the point where I can't even comprehend what the person next to me is saying. I just feel completely vulnerable. After I'm finally alone and in my car, I'll notice that I have a weird pulsating feeling my head, almost like I can feel my heart beating in my brain. It's really embarrassing because I just completely shut down and this happens almost every night.

I wasn't sure where else I could post this so that some people might understand what I go through, but this seems like the best place for that. Is this problem biological? environmental? psychological? There must be a way to combat it because whenever my mind drifts and I start to think too much about it, I get extremely depressed. I'm also a natural skeptic and my self-esteem is pretty low, no matter how much I try and tell myself otherwise. So that might be a factor.

I can relate to this. I used to work full time and I couldn't cope with it. I was so busy trying to figure out what was going on, by the end of the day I was completely confused and exhausted. I had to go straight home and spend some time alone to collect my thoughts.

I won't lie being on antidepressants kind of helped me out in this respect. It was easier for me to stay in the moment and I think Effexor had the least side effects and I was pretty stable on it, too. I haven't been on it in awhile but I remember coming off of it due to issues with memory loss, racing thoughts, and the like. It affected my learning comprehension as well..things I read wouldn't 'sink in' as easily.

Besides the issues I deal with I feel like a pretty normal guy, just more..isolated. I really feel like people who are exposed to and forced to deal with the real world probably end up in a better position, despite any possible syndromes or disorders.

But I'm only 21 and already feel like I've reached my peak. Like there's nothing else I can do to improve my situation. The on;ly thing I have going for me is school. I want to graduate and feel what it's like to really be on my own. Away from my dysfunctional family. Maybe I'll be a better and happier person when I find the right environment and the right people.

Sorry for the tangent.

Where I work people talk often enough about personal-type (non-work) things that I am easily distracted and I end up fixating one way or another on whatever it is they're talking about. Somehow I never find their topics interesting, which might help (yet I fixate on them.. go figure).. I wear earbuds and listen to music throughout the day. This is also nice because the music is upbeat techno-type music which makes me feel more upbeat in general.

attention deficit disorder, inattentive, without hyperactivity is common to people with AS. I'm pretty sure this accounts for it.