Disclose or not to disclose.

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Pricelessppp1
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30 Jan 2021, 7:03 pm

Should I disclose to people wither or not I’m on the spectrum?

madbutnotmad
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30 Jan 2021, 7:34 pm

i believe this is a personal choice

I think it some circumstances it can work in your favour
and in other circumstances it can work against you

all depends what types of people who you are talking to

good people generally are kind and considerate
bad people will use it as an excuse to discriminate

in some cases, it can get you work and other cases
it can get you excluded from work

when it comes to intimate relationships, it may scare some off
but if a person is kind and considerate (which are qualities i expect in a partner)
then they will be fine with it, and perhaps read up on it in order to make themselves
a better partner

by disclosing, you may open yourself to being bullied by the a holes
but by disclosing you may find people who aren't
who may make allowances for you if you act a little strange

most people i have told have been fine
and some have their own experiences with others with the condition

so no problemo...

Pricelessppp1
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31 Jan 2021, 3:55 pm

madbutnotmad wrote:

Thanks for the response. I just don’t want to deal with social isolation or romantic rejection over having something I was born with. Also don’t want to deal with proving people that I’m not like the others on the spectrum. Also I don’t want to deal with condensing people.

theprisoner
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31 Jan 2021, 4:20 pm

Think of it as a game. See how long you can get by without disclosure. If they never guess, you doing good. If they do guess. Game over. Think of it as honing ones skills. or feedback calibration.

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Biscuitman
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01 Feb 2021, 3:56 pm

Been having similar thoughts myself recently about my boss. I was only diagnosed in 2016 at the age of 37. My wife knows, the rest of my family dont know though. HR at work know, and my old boss knew as I got on well with her and she was kind.

I have a new boss who is very different and I am not enjoying it so much. Been wondering if I should tell her though. Might get a little more understanding from her as she is quite demanding and I feel I just cant keep up with the demands.

NaturalEntity
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01 Feb 2021, 4:15 pm

Pricelessppp1 wrote:

Should I disclose to people wither or not I’m on the spectrum?

It is a personal choice, as others have said above. I recommend that you disclose it only to those you trust. I've learnt that the hard way.

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kraftiekortie
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01 Feb 2021, 4:21 pm

You have no obligation to “disclose”.

r00tb33r
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01 Feb 2021, 5:14 pm

Pricelessppp1 wrote:

Should I disclose to people wither or not I’m on the spectrum?

Only if you have a severe enough impairment that the people you are interacting with need to be aware to take it into account. Some may in fact treat you better if you tell them that you struggle in a certain way. Have to know your audience though.

Otherwise if it's not a factor then keep it to yourself. I make no mention of it at work.

IsabellaLinton
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01 Feb 2021, 5:48 pm

I recommend disclosing on a need-to-know basis. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I don't tell many people the details of my personal life and medical / neurological information unless I'm very close to them. I told my boyfriend on our first date because I thought it was relevant for a partner, but I haven't told many people in my own family.

If you choose not to disclose you can still make reference to your specific needs, without using an overall label.

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Minuteman
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02 Feb 2021, 10:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

You have no obligation to “disclose”.

Since Pricelessppp1 mentioned romantic relationships, I think that's a trickier situation. Maybe not "Hi, I'm ______ ... by the way, I have Asperger's," but maybe by the third date (and certainly before things get physical) so the person knows what they're getting into and can back out before too much emotional energy is spent.

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