At my wit's end

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Had a very good summer, no school! my son had a very difficult 1st year at post primary. School not understanding his difficulties, meetings with the school, appointments with CAMHS (Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services) after 5 years eventually they agree on his diagnosis. Hoping this would get him the support he needs in school. 5 years back and forth to private consultants.

My son very good at masking his difficulties, making it extra difficult for others to see his difficulties.

Last year was very difficult for him and the family threatening to harm and kill himself, summer holidays no threats. One week completed back to the threats and school refusal, we have discussed home schooling he has rejected this. Change of school where we live is not really an option, we live in a small town and there is only 2 schools to chose from. I don't think the school itself is a problem, but do feel the lack of support for my son is a problem, when he was in primary school his difficulties weren't pick up and I when I would bring it to the attention of the teacher they were dismissed. He did have a very good teacher for his final year but she still didn't pick up on his anxieties.

The positive here is that I now understand his needs where up till last year I did not know anything about AS. I always knew he was struggling thought it was ADHD, but also felt it was more. I have been fighting hard to get to where we are now, I have the support of the local services eventually, My husband and I understand his needs, but we are still struggling with school.

There has been a lot of appointments not sure if this has taken it toll, but I don't think so. I thought the summer break would give us all time to recover and we did have a very good summer.

It just feels like one step forward, ten steps back this week, I was hoping things would move forward but we are stuck. My son is taking new medication to help with his anxieties/OCD over the weekend he was having panic attacks, couldn't even mention the word school or he would get so upset.

I know the morning will be difficult, we will get through it not sure where do I go from here.
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I can definitely understand your son's feelings about school but don't know what you can do about them. There's really only two choices. Either go to school or don't. If someone would have said "never go back" and offered to home school, I would have been rejoicing to the skies but no one ever gave me that choice. I was miserable the whole time, threatening to kill myself, or not going.
Besides homeschooling or transferring schools, what else is there?
You can work on cognitive behavioral therapy and see if that helps.

I am giving him the choice, I have to be honest because as young person a long time ago I was in the same position. I can't choose his destiny but because he is so young I have to help. Look if he wants to be home schooled yes he can bottom line he has to have an education.