Communicating with doctors.

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I would feel so relieved if I could get a diagnosis, I attended a GP consultation today and he looked at me like I was mad when I said I would like a referral to an ASD clinic. I feel pretty sure its AS but he said that seeing a snap shot of me he would say it was a no because I communicate well. Does everyone out there who has been diagnosed have obvious communication problems? I could'nt look at his face but had a quick answer for each question. I have been treated for 15 years with social phobia and depression so my notes preceed me a bit, I just feel misunderstood!

What is it with this 'communicate well' thing? That's not the first time I hear of a doctor coming up with that. Obviously, the doc doesn't know what the symptoms are. One of the main things about Aspies is that they communicate facts extremely well, and are no good at small talk. (Warning: that's a generalization, for the purposes of discussion only.)

A family doctor is qualified to give you a referral and that's about it. You almost have to be able to educate your family doc to get a referral. And to whom should you be referred? In my case - surprise - The Children's Hospital. Well, that makes sense. The whole adult medical community knows zip about Asperger's - but for children, they are ready with tests and everything. And they know all about it, and don't need it explained.

I speak as somebody that didn't go yet, but I got the referral - and I needed the intervention of a social worker for that, and she went to a big Team Meeting (including a shrink, who consented to the referral!).

Anyway, they're all crazy, breathe deeply and keep going.

Oh - they said to me "Why?" Such a stupid question, it's stunning. Because if I got it, I want to learn to cope with it. I've heard they even have occupation therapy - if you're diagnosed.

Fresco, this is exactly the reason why I am putting off going to my GP about this - I totally expect the reaction you describe. I am wondering whether writing to my doctor, giving detailed reasons why I am asking for the referral, would be a preferable alternative to seeing her in person, at least initially. I just can't take any further blows to my self esteem right now

Thanks for your reply claradoon, yes its taken a few hours just to take it in and not let it get to me, I don't know what they do with doctors at medical school in the UK somewhere along the line they have a course in arrogance and treating people with mental/developmental problems with disregard, it just can be a rather demeaning procedure but there are other people out there who may be helpful! Possibly a GP thinks of asperger's in the stereotyped sense.So you have'nt had your assesment yet then but have referral, best of luck I think there is often help occupational therapy and stuff if you do get a diagnosis.

Hi Scrulie thank you for your reply, don't get dispondent by my experience, you may have far more charaterisitcs of AS than me and of course a different medical history. The other thing was the GP I saw today was new at the practice so he was probably not a great one to see. I think you should still seek a referral if you would like a diagnosis, yes I think writing down your concerns/symptoms would be a good idea to give a more detailed picture.
Many thanks
maria

I personally know several people with AS who hold very responsible or high level jobs. For these they obviously have to 'communicate well'. What the world doesn't see is how hard they work at it and how much it takes out of them.

From my own experience, especially of communicating with medical people, the communication issue is very subtle. It's like doctors particularly are expecting to have to read between lines all the time. A couple of months ago I actually had a doctor (re a medical condition) advise me NOT to tell the specialist so clearly (i.e. in a typically AS factual, logical, point by point way) what the problem is and that, although I'd reached the correct dx for myself, I MUST let them work it out for themselves!

It's the NT 'hunt the meaning' game again. That and the arrogant 'I-know-more-than-you-about-you' rubbish.

Keep at it, people! If at first you don't succeed, find another doctor. There ARE some humble and genuinely knowledgable ones about.

Hi Lupin

Yes you are right, doctors don't like to be told, they have to keep their ego intact, I remember asking a GP once a detailed question about a blood result once and he said "what do you want me to relay to you a decade of medical training" ha ha what an idiot, people take respect too seriously we're all the same in my eyes, its annoying hierachy! I will look out for a more understanding/knowledgeable doctor.

Funnily enough my doctor was absolutly find about referring me and arranged it straight away, however the mental health team where i live refused to even see me....go fingure....and this was with a detailed list (aspie style) of my symptoms and things i could remember from my past......and yes it is very annoying....i haven't decided yet wether to give it another go or not.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I don't think it's that I'm no good at small talk. I think it's just so intensely annoying because it's so massively and totally fake.

Look lady. I'm going to get my mail and you can get your mail and then we'll go up to our respective condos and forget about this little incident and hopefully not bump into each other again for about a week. No discussion is necessary!

But I don't say it out loud.