Girls, Girls, Girls.

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My friend (a male) invited me to an event tonight where we will be hanging out with a bunch of sorority girls. I'm a college age male by the way.

I've been to similar situations where I've been invited to hang out for different events at sorority houses. Usually, the don't turn out that well because I don't know what to talk about. It's not that I'm nervous, but I really am just not good at holding a conversation with anyone. Even more so with women.

My goal for tonight is to make several new friends. Usually, people remember me when I meet them but for some reason, I am rarely the guy people remember as the guy who people should hang out with. I want to make that impression on people tonight.

Advise please and as much of it as you've got.

Get the other person to talk about themselves.
And then act like you're interested in what they have to say about themselves.

You wont have to say much, and the other person will be wowed at what a great conversationalist you are.

Yeah, that's the thing. The less you say, the more you say, and this is especially true with sorority girls. The less you speak, the more THEY can speak. All you have to do is somehow let them know that you are listening.

So insert little words here and there indicating you are listening. Insert a few short questions that you make up regarding what they're telling you (hone your short term memory and auditive processing). Ask their opinion, what they like or don't like, compliment, don't criticize, say what is positive, don't say what is negative in the given context, etc.

Do not waste your time trying to be NT and fit in

Scan the girlies for an aspie looking hotty, if she is a nice and honest aspie, hunt her down like she is the last aspie girl on earth, and the human race depends on you two getting it on!

**Say something stupid to test her tolerance and forgiveness** (important)

Since honing my aspiedar I have found much fulfillment...and many closeted HFA females!

I no longer waste my time on loser NT's,,,,,,,,, that usually ends in pain for both parties

Treat people well, by avoiding starting unharmonious connections, use intelligence to find suitable partners, rather than spreading yourself thin and time wasting on unsuitable females

But how? I can spot males, but females, nope. I've already met spectrumish females, though. The problem is, if they are asexual or something...

There is definitely a look. If your intent is strong enough, it can be learnt.

Its much like being able to tell the difference between Korean and Japanese, Thai or Vietnamese, Tongans or Samoans

Practise makes perfect

Apart from the look, asking a few pertinent questions can be telling enough.

I saw the subject line and all I could think of was how much I love girls. I like two at once right now, but one of them is likely to disappear from my life very soon forever. Good thing I'm already "seeing" the other one.

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Let me change the scenario a little bit on you. I can ask girls questions about themselves all day long. One of the problems is that usually, we still don't "connect." I ask a question and they answer it. They may or may not ask a follow up question. But then there's the pause (somewhat awkward but not unbearable). Then I ask another question. Answer then I may comment with something relevant. Then another pause. It's like turning the key in the ignition of a car and hearing the engine start and then die. Start then die. Start then die.

What I am looking for are tips on how to keep the motor going.

Hi,

let me start by saying that I have never been to a sorority type party so my advice is not from the perspective of having been there specifically.

However, as a girl, I can say that I think connection depends on more than just smooth conversational flow. If you genuinely have nothing in common with the person you're speaking to, how can you expect to connect?

If you have to connect with girls who have hardly anything in common with you, it might be better to connect by something more general, like a game you could play together rather than just talking. Games force you to have something in common because you are on teams and are trying to win. I'm thinking of things like a card game, or Farkle or Fluxx or something of that nature that doesn't require any special knowledge beforehand. If you are a good sport and can not take yourself too seriously in winning or losing a game, that can speak volumes to a girl, maybe more so than if you had bored her with 20 questions. Also, if you enjoy a game with someone, that can turn into a weekly reason to get together with a few new friends, to even the score or have a rematch

Hope that helps.

As a female, I would like advice on how to spot closeted HFA males. Which questions should I ask to most quickly distinguish the closeted HFA male from the NT nerd/geek/dork picked up by my AspieDar as a potential closeted HFA male? Boys, Boys, Boys!

As someone who easily falls under both categories, I'm beginning to wonder if there's much of a difference between the two.

Bakc when I was a teenager, the girls from my class thought I was "really good to talk to". That was mainly because I had no idea what they felt like and therefore I had to ask. So when there was something I did not understood I asked. After that I analysed the reply and asked again. I don't really get the NT thing where you can't ask about certain things "because that would be rude". The danger here is that they might get tired of the question session, and find you push too hard I think. The other danger is if they start asking about you. I have always had a VERY hard time knowing when it's time to stop talking and as a result, poured a lot of personal information out to people, who maybe should have remained ignorant. And that's pretty damaging for you in the long run. however, from the forums, this sound like something a lot of us do?

Now I'm babbling again. Short thing, if you don't understand something, ask. Most NT's love to talk about themselves.

Find out stuff about them. Ask them. Sometimes they'll be boring, sometimes they'll be interesting. The interesting ones are the potential friends.

I was just gonna say that.

Maybe you could grill them on trivia.

Maybe an NT dork would know that the middle initial of Captain Kirk was "T", but an aspie guy would also know that it stood for "Tiberius"!

Lol!

An NT trekkie would know it, too. But it is a pretty good sign of a nerdy (and thus potentially interesting) individual.