Tired of mistakes getting blown up out of proportion

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So, I'm pretty chill about when I make mistakes. I clean them up and go about the rest of my day. Clumsiness and forgetfulness happens to the best of people.

But no, when I make mistakes, it's because I'm immature, can't think, will never amount to anything... and here's the funny part: when I offer a level-headed solution, the other person gets angry. It's like they want the mistake to be unsolvable, so they can justify their opinion of me as the one person who will ultimately topple the foundations of humanity or something.

And woe betide me if I actually answer their rhetorical questions. Talk about mixed messages! I try saying that if they have an answer already picked out for me, then they shouldn't waste their time asking the question, but to no avail.

I speak of my parents, of course.

Soul crushing must be such a fun past time, since there are so many parents doing it.

I honestly have no idea why they do this, other than to perhaps make themselves feel better or something. It's ridiculous though, and that sucks you have to deal with it. I find that just going mute and letting them be mad, they lose steam eventually. Just act contrite and let them go. You know it's not true, and they'll never listen anyway, so why bother?

Ellytoad, I can't remember how old I was when I realized that not everyone made mistakes into apocalyptic events. I had an abusive parent who treated anything I did as worthy of massive punishment, no matter how accidental. My ex was the same way. I lived with my grandmother after I left my ex, and eventually moved in with some people I knew from online - that actually went rather well, until three of us were asked to leave the household "just because."

And I remember I accidentally stepped on something that one of my housemates owned (a Magneto heroclix he got at a convention) and I was like "OH MY GOD I'M SORRY" and he said "It's okay, it's an accident." And that blew my mind. That was, er... 2002? So I was 33 years old when I finally realized that there were people who didn't make accidents out to be the worst thing you could ever do.

Then my next housemate knifed up my ethernet cable after I fell asleep with it plugged in to the modem because his wireless was slow and sucky.

By all that I mean I sympathize.

Parents and partners/lovers do this because you are not the person they want you to be. In a way, everyone with whom you are in close contact, but especially parents, expect you to make them happy, to fill a void in their lives. At least you should make them feel as though they were perfect parents. If you can't live up to their expectations, they rather put the blame on you than on their own unrealistic claims.

Thank you. I try to do just this, and as much as it makes sense, it's too tempting to answer them and stuff, because they seem to be waiting for a response. It's scary, wondering whether to go with what they seem to want and risk anger, or remain silent.



It blows my mind when it happens too. It's almost too good to be believed, especially after you've grown up being trained to see accidents as irreparable occurrences that are all your fault aaargh!



Oh man, I know all too well how abnormal I look to my stepfather, and how different my mom thought I would be before I was born. "You are not the girl I thought you'd be," is an exact quote.
I try not to think about it, and try to appreciate myself as I am. At least my best friend insists that there's absolutely nothing wrong with me, and that means a whole lot to me.