Too normal to have AS?

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I have and still do score high on all of the aspergers tests. I have nearly all of the symptoms on the diagnostic criteria. Some people have suggested I might be on the spectrum. I am currently in the process I believe of possibly getting a diagnosis of aspergers though they might go with ptsd. (I have no idea what he is going to decide, he is interviewing with me and making me take all these tests but has given me little to no feed back as to his likely diagnosis.) Anyways, I look extremely normal, and look like an athlete. I have played sports since I was a little kid, including soccer basketball baseball football and wrestling. (forced as a kid though in junior high and high school i volunteered to do football and wrestling) I was never very good at any of them. I was decent at football because of my size probably. I became good at wrestling through a lot of training. (My favorite sport because it requires no communication with the team and your success is directly dependant upon you and not the rest of the team) Not to say that someone with aspergers cant be normal but because of my normality I have trouble believing that I have aspergers which I also believe psychologists or psychiatrists have trouble believing it as well possibly overlooking evidence. I have always been clumsy and bump into doors/walls/cabinets all the time. I drop things constantly and trip over things a lot. And have always had trouble with eye contact, non verbal cues (though I did not realize it until I found out about aspergers.....I rarely read non verbal cues mostly because I never thought about it), and have always had trouble with theory of mind. Thats the short of a long list.

Anyways, has or does anyone feel too normal to have aspergers?

Yes.

My therapist and I both agree that I probably have mild Asperger's. My son and husband definitely have it. Most people who meet me see a relatively outgoing person who makes eye contact and seems to do very well. What they don't see is that I have never managed to really make and maintain friendships. I am constantly questioning myself and my social skills. I have no idea how to join a conversation or what to do in a group of people that I don't know. They see me talking and interacting well when there are more structured "rules" for interacting, like one-on-one conversations. They don't see the fact that I go home and curl up with a book and soothing music after dealing with a group of people. I have always thought of myself as an introvert who wishes I was an extrovert. Someone else referred to that type as an "extroverted Aspie". That describes myself and my son quite well. We both tend to be fairly social, we are just inept at it. My husband is the more classic "introverted Aspie." He is a loner and is content that way.

I have told a few people that all 3 of us have Asperger's. They look at me and say "your son and your husband, definitely, but you....I don't think so". But, I was able to write about 8 pages of what my social interactions have been like during my life from early childhood through almost 40. My therapist says it is very convincing evidence, especially with all my test scores that place me well within the AS range.

Maybe something in here seems familiar. It is hard enough to have an "invisible" issue like AS, but to have it in a fairly mild form can be really frustrating. There is no way my son or husband could pass as NT. But, people expect me to be socially appropriate because they generally don't have any idea what my brain is like. I am sure there have been quite a few people that I have insulted, angered, hurt, or somehow acted rude or inappropriate towards without meaning to. Since I still do not have any real friends, I don't have anyone to tell me that I am doing something that is not appropriate. My husband is clueless and interactions with my therapist have a different set of "social" skills needed.

I've never felt like that, makes me glad I'm not mild.

I'm sorry if you question yourself.

ADHD'er here and I've had difficulty making and maintaining friendships my whole life. The few friendships that I do manage to keep are the ones where I don't need to see the person everyday... or even every month, for that matter. I rely on online communication quite a bit. I often forget to socialize and prefer to spend my time engrossed in my favorite subjects.

People had me convinced for awhile that it was shyness, but I think that doesn't cover all of it. While I do have some social anxiety, I had trouble well before I felt anxious. I didn't realize I was supposed to play with the other kids at preschool, for example. The thought just never occurred to me, until someone pointed it out. So I'm thinking it is probably AS-related... most likely a "mild" version. It's frustrating because I'm normal enough that I can pass as just a little eccentric, but not normal enough to actually make proper connections with people. Oh well, thank goodness I don't get lonely too often.

Live and let die, aspergers is just an attempt frame a difference as a disorder. Especially in these cases.

1) It is difficult for one to accurately judge how "normal" one's own behaviour is.

2) If you act strictly according to your nature and instinct, is it as "normal" as the way you actually act? Are you naturally normal, or are you just acting normal?

I have felt this way before, but when I've asked friends, it turned out that what I thought was "normal" behaviour on my part wasn't quite, and even that was an unnatural "dialling-down" of my natural personality I learned as a child to avoid negative consequences of natural Aspie tendencies. Also, by the time I had heard of Asperger's, I was spending the vast majority of my time around computer nerds, where I don't stand out nearly as much as in a more typical population sample.

So your defence is basically "I play sport". What does that have to do with anything?

Sports = makes one normal?

I do sports and am definitely autistic. (And very much not normal.)

I believe I look normal too. Just got told again people expect me to be normal when they look at me.

Don't let anybody tell you there's an autistic body-form.

I guess that's like saying people with hyperactive ADHD need to be skinny or lanky from all that moving around. I was told that about ADHD once - never happened again when I explained I have hyperactive ADHD (I'm not lanky).

well to be fair I don't play sports anymore but I excercise a lot.

I'm not saying that this is a logical conclusion....I guess I feel more normal when I am playing sports/excercising maybe.

Then when I leave and go about my day my social difficulties come back into play.

Although during football (which I quit because the coach kept trying to talk to me) I was at a big disadvantage because it is more of a cheer leader sport where you need to be verbal/excited yelling things in order to be a full part of it and get a good position. (though this might vary between coachs.....)

I'll never feel this mythical state known as "normal". And the world will never let me live it down. Sometimes it really does feel like my very existence is an error.