authoritaiii

Post Reply New Topic

Just wondering if this is normal for us,... which I guess is really abnormal,... but you know what I mean. I practically always have some kind of abnormal response when first interacting one-on-one with someone, but when it comes to someone that I consider an authority figure, it becomes much worse. I often go into a panic attack during interviews and have to do everything in my power (without getting up and leaving or making a big scene) to control it. I often have failed to control it as well. When my boss calls me into the office to talk about something, I "lose it" and make myself look like an idiot. I'll repeat things, my palms will sweat, I won't be able to remember anything that he told me, I'll start breathing funny, I won't be able to remember what I said, etc.. The same things would happen back in school with teachers. I understand now that this is panic attacks, but is it common for us to have them from merely interacting with authority. It's so bad that I avoid anyone that I consider to be an authority figure because I make myself look like an idiot when they are around.

I failed to graduate with a second major because the completion of the SCE (Senior Culminating Project) required that I meet a professor I considered a respected authority figure and have in-depth discussions with him.

Instead I spent a year avoiding him.

I'm constantly dealing with authority, whether it be authority over me, or having to assert MY authority over others at work. Trust me when I say being the guy with the authority is not always fun, because you have to trust other people to do a job that you're responsible for, and that can be very stressful when you're not sure if the workers under you are actually doing what you told them to do, or if you told them to do the right thing, or if they understand the thing they're supposed to be doing.

TheBrain, it sounds like you imagine your bosses or other authorities to do the worst case scenario, which is loudly berating you for some mistake you did or didn't do and berating you even further if you dare speak up for yourself and telling you how close to the razor wire you are from being fired cause they can do it just like that (snaps fingers). And yeah, it happens. But really, it doesn't happen all that much. Because the boss who acts like that won't be a boss for very long over people who are worth anything.

It's just like asking a girl out, in that we imagine her telling us off loudly for even IMAGINING that we were good enough to even TALK to her, let alone ask her out to dinner and she ONLY dates hot guys with big cars and lots of money and what are you still doing here, creep? Get lost before my boyfriend beats you up! Except, really, this pretty much never happens in real life. At least, not nearly as often as we imagine it does. Girls are just girls, and bosses are just people with a different set of responsibilities. If they know you're willing to work, show up on time and listen to what they have to say, most everything else is forgivable.

Actually, embrrassment is the last thing that I worry about and getting fired, I think, is always on every Aspie's mind, but that's not it. I think it's a combination of not wanting to disappoint someone, being disappointed in myself if I've failed in someway, a fear of having to talk to someone face to face, a fear of having a panic attack, a fear of making myself look stupid and mentally freezing, an inability to explain things when I am put on the spot, and probably a number of other things that I can't think of at the moment. This all culminates into one giant panic attack.

I don't have a paralysing fear of people because I understand that fear is just an annoyance that builds as once focuses on it and otherwise it'sa weakness that gets in the way.

It's the main reason I left uni immediately after completing my ordinary degree and didn't embark on the senior honours year. I would have been doing a research project and I knew that entailed working closely with one of the professors. I didn't even know who the professor was going to be, but I was petrified, so I went to college for a taught post-grad instead. I was the same at work.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5c11Z-33PSU&feature=related[/youtube]

I have run from the police twice this year

Not recommended.

I tend to have trouble recognizing authority. It helps me avoid worrying about authority figures, though it also causes trouble with other stuff. I guess it's kind of a benefit for me, since I do my best to respect everyone I meet regardless of authority.

As a kid, parents terrified me, they still do lol. My Mum not so much, it was other kids' parents. Teachers, and my bosses scare the heck out of me, but just before I went on sick leave I had a really awesome one and I was really comfortable around him by the end of it. Police officers and the likes are a little nerve wracking, even when I'm just getting their coffee. The uniform is scary in itself lol.

I will admit that i have a problem with authority, not in that im afraid of it but more so that i will deliberately try to go against that authority.

I have always gotten along incredibly well with my parents. They have always supported me. But as far as authority figures go, there are some that bother me. I got along fairly well with most of my teachers, but now at my job, I get anxiety around my superiors. After several years of this, I feel like at times it's finally taking its toll on me. STRESS. ANXIETY. I am almost to the point where I don't care what they think of me. If I were to lose my job (or quit), I have enough money in my investment plans to pay off my bills. But I wouldn't have an adequate retirement. But---I would be free. Sometimes I envy the Grizzly Adams character who lived in the wild in a cabin lost from society. But I couldn't live without my family---they would have to be with me. I sometimes think times were simpler when we farmed our own land and supported ourselves. This was a hard life, but we were free from the types of bosses we have today if we worked for ourselves and supported ourselves. Yes---bosses cause me discomfort.