Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

10 Sep 2011, 10:31 am

I was looking at my next door neighbour socialising in her back garden with a load of friends who had come round, and she is a very outgoing person. She was the life and soul of this group, and whatever she said got heard by one or more people in the group. I often wish I could be like that, but I can't. I never have been the life and soul anywhere, even in my own family. Often I say things that don't get heard. But it's like whoever's the life and soul, everyone's ears are always open for them, as though everybody's ready for him or her to speak. So he/she would never, ever get left out or interrupted or unheard.
I sometimes get a little envious. Just think for a moment, what it would be like if you was the life and soul of a group, where you always got heard. Just picture yourself in that situation (if you can). Although I've never been the life and soul, I can still picture myself being somebody (like my next door neighbour) who is the life and soul, and being the centre of the group all the time. How would that feel? Wouldn't it be great? (If you would like that sort of thing, that is).

I like being around people, but I become bored because I'm not the life and soul. I talk, but nobody listens. Once I said something 7 or 8 times, and one person actually heard at the 8th time I said it. It just makes me feel like I'm just existing. Anyone else feel like this (extrovert Aspies, preferably?)


_________________
Female


The_Perfect_Storm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Sep 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,289

10 Sep 2011, 11:59 am

Too much pressure. I'd run out of things to say.



Whoever
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 66

10 Sep 2011, 12:15 pm

I am this way also. I would dearly LOVE to be the "life of the party" type. But, I just am not. I have no idea how to join conversations, how to have appropriate conversations, and how to leave situations properly. I generally do better in one-to-one conversations than in group settings.

I do understand how it feels to be an extrovert Aspie. It isn't an easy thing to be.



Ellytoad
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 424

10 Sep 2011, 12:25 pm

I don't want to all-out be the life of the party, but I definitely wish people heard what I say, as well as not interrupt me to talk to someone else while I'm in the middle of a sentence. I know a big part of why that happens is that I'm way soft-spoken... but that doesn't justify impoliteness on everyone else's part!

It's like I'm getting subconsciously punished by everyone for not knowing how to get their attention robustly.

I would never turn away from someone while they're talking to me.



kfisherx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,192

10 Sep 2011, 12:31 pm

People often tell me I am this. They say the room lights up when I enter. People want to be with me.

Meh... I am just "me".

No pressure to be pr do anything and it feels like me. I imagine it is no dfferent than your life feels like you. This world takes all kinds.



gothicfeline
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 27
Location: Philly area, PA

10 Sep 2011, 1:14 pm

I want to be somewhere in the middle. I don't want to be the "life and soul" of a group because that seems like a lot of pressure, like I HAVE to be there for the group to function. No way. On the other hand, if I am trying to interact in a group, I don't want to be ignored or excluded either. I just want to rest somewhere in the middle, getting to chat with the people I want to chat with and not worry about much anything else.



swbluto
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Feb 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,899
Location: In the Andes, counting the stars and wondering if one of them is home to another civilization

10 Sep 2011, 7:58 pm

I AM the party!

Haha, not, nor do I desire to be the center of attention. However, I guess I wouldn't mind being the center of female attention. XD



Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

11 Sep 2011, 9:13 am

Heh - we all know this phenomenon: if I uttered something what I didn't want nobody to hear, I bet they'll all hear that! :roll: :)


_________________
Female