Distraught at close friend emigrating

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piroflip
Deinonychus
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12 Sep 2011, 5:14 am

I don’t know whether this is an AS thing but I’m totally down and distraught due to the emigration of a good and very close (none AS) friend of mine.

We met ten years ago as we were involved in the same hobby. We instantly became very good friends despite him being 25 years younger than me. We were always on the same wavelength and spent a lot of time together.

Seven weeks ago he told me that he was emigrating with his girlfriend and two young daughters and my world collapsed. Yesterday he came to say goodbye and after talking about the old days for hours he finally got up to leave. I was crying uncontrollably as we shook hands for the last time.

I don’t have a gay bone in my body but love the guy deeply. I can’t bear the thought of never seeing him again. Like most Aspies I don’t make friends easily and this has left a huge hole in my life. Thankfully my partner has been very understanding and supportive.
She realizes that my relationship with him has been good for me over the years.

.



YellowBanana
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12 Sep 2011, 6:00 am

I went through exactly this in 2006. It was really really painful and I still miss my friends (husband & wife) terribly. They were the only people I would have classed as close friends then, and they still are.

I write long emails to them, which they sometimes answer and sometimes don't.

I visit them in their new country at least once a year. I get to meet the husband maybe once a year elsewhere (we have the same interests and our paths cross occasionally).

But it's not the same.

I still love them dearly and miss them every day.

I have no advice to make it easier.


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MudandStars
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12 Sep 2011, 7:05 am

I have never been in that situation myself, but I imagine it's a tough thing to go through whether you have AS or not. I don't think you're reaction is overly abnormal. Forever is a long time not to see someone after all.


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