Eye contact

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I dunno, ever since about age 14 Ive had serious trouble with eye contact except in specific circumstances.
If Im talking to somebody I dont know very well, or simply sitting down in a public area, I find myself struggling to avoid it for fear of...well, angering somebody, or simply being noticed.
With people much older than me (most of the professors at my college, for example) I can easily maintain eye contact for two hours, taking occasional breaks for things like blinking and note taking of course.
If I HAVE to make eye contact, I immidiatly flush and break into a sweat, and despite all the reassurances in the world, I still feel like Im doing something wrong, unless its with a person I know and trust, or, as mentioned above, an older person.

Yeah I have learned to make eye contact but I still do not know when to make and
break eye contact.

I remember as a young kid not being able to make eye contact with a face shot
on the TV so I think its has to be a deeply biological thing. Its like animals do not like
to make lots of eye contact either.

My husband and i have both always had problems with feeling that photographs of people are looking at us. I wonder if that's typically AS?

Not sure up to my 20's I like drawing eyes alot. A guy I knew that had a degree in psychology said it was paranoia . Which I felt he was right.

Yes, I used to draw eyes all the time too! I've been quite obsessed with them in the past, though not so much now. I still think that eyes can have a power over me, like they're aiming at me, like a gun or something.

HA that's nothing. I have it with almost everybody (2 or 3 persons excepted)

YES...eyes do feel like weapons....or I feel naked...much to intimate to make eye contact unles I know the person.

I cant say I have that degree of discomfort, and I havent ever (that I can remember) felt like a picture, or even an animal, was staring at me or that eyes were a 'weapon'.
Basically, for me, eye contact is either 'on' or 'off', there is no middle ground. If I concentrate, I can make eye contact with anybody for any period of time. If I dont, it tends to be emberassing.

However, nobody has ever called me on it except my parents when I was younger.
Now people seem to think Im just shy, although nobody has said it, it seems that is the assumption.

I can make eye contact when I know that I need to, but I tend to then get lost in the person's eyes.

I sort of forget to pay attention to what they're saying, or I don't answer in time while I'm staring at their eyes. Then I only look at one of their eyes or the other and I never know which one to look at - does anyone else feel that?

After looking at only one eye and then only the other, and then worrying about which one to look at and not being able to figure out how to look at both at the same time, I'm lost and don't know what was said. *sigh*

That's why I LOVE the computer!! !! !!

:> earthmom

I used to have nightmares about big eyeballs chasing me. When i was lvery ittle i couldn't sleep because i thought their where eyes in the dark looking at me.

Since I have trained myself to be a little more confident with eye contact I have only just become aware of the color of my siblings and parents eyes. Before the age of 50 I did not have a clue what color they were albeit brown, blue hazel or whatever.

I although I have mastered eye contact to some extent I still cannot sustain eye contact for any length of time. Especially if I have to maintain a conversation and eye contact at the same time. I still find it very awkward. Often I may just end up just turning my eyeballs upwards so I am looking above their head, but that may look noticeably weird.

Paul

I have trouble maintaining Eye contact because, if I do, I can't focus on what the person is saying. Fortunately, I have developed a trick to make it look like I am looking at the other person's eyes. My glasses are always sliding down to the tip of my nose, so the lenses pretty much cover only the bottom half of my field of vision. If I need to make eye contact, I will stare over my lenses, making the other person nothing more than a blurry image, and letting them believe I am paying attention.

Sometimes I look at people's noses or mouths, but even then I can become uncomfortable.

Did you know that if you look at someones forehead, or the end of their nose, it is impossible for them to tell that you are not looking at there eyes. I find this a good alternative when at work, as I sometimes feel intimidated by the more seniour staff I have to deal with. As an IT Manager I have to report to the Director, and meet some pretty high up people.

Try it, it might be an easy way to avoid the problem.

GreyArea