Child aspies, adaptive adults - what category?

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It seems to be the prevailing opinion among professionals (correct me if I'm wrong) that for an adult diagnosis of Asperger's, there must be some significant functional difficulty. I have, as you may have seen in an earlier thread, seen a psychologist for a related, but not AS-specific issue, who told me that since I was coping well with life, a full diagnostic process for AS would be a waste of time and money for me. I can understand the reasoning there.

But if I am not an Aspie, what am I? I grew up about a decade too early for there to have been any real possibility of diagnosis before social anxiety had had a chance to start conditioning my behaviour to expose as little as possible in the way of Aspie traits. Even then, I still had a lot of social problems before and during high school, both in spite of the suppression of Aspie traits from the anxiety and because of the anxiety itself. I was, however, lucky enough to have some measure of skill in a socially acceptable sport, interests shared by at least a few other kids (somewhat outcast themselves), have high enough intelligence and aptitude and interest in math, hard science and computers, which would end up benefiting me professionally and where my behaviour (albeit still very "dialled down" from natural unhindered childhood levels) was less noticeable as odd. And, frankly, there were more vulnerable kids to pick on anyway.

Virtually all of my friends and relatives that know anything about Asperger's tell me I definitely am an Aspie, including one friend who pegged my personality type (INTJ) and Asperger's within a month of us meeting and working together. I'm aware of BAP, but it's too broad. I definitely don't have PDD-NOS or classic Autism.

But, I don't need medication, aides, or different working conditions (though in some workplaces I might). What's the appropriate category?

Well, you can be neurologically autistic, but not diagnosable. The "proper" use of a diagnosis is to access services, assistance, accommodations, SSDI/SSI, etc. -- and ONLY that. It doesn't mean you can't have the neurology, it just means that you don't have the legal status of being disabled.

There is a problem that some people argue on one hand that if you don't need services or accommodations or whatnot, then you shouldn't be diagnosed (as there is a DSM criterion that says, "must cause clinically significant impairment"). But then, OTOH some argue that if you're not diagnosed then you're not autistic. Not hard to see why people want to be diagnosed even without "significant impairment," given that no-win situation.

As far as why a person might be undiagnosable, I see it commonly assumed that it can only be because a person isn't that badly affected. But, I can think of other reasons. Some people might scrape by and then fall apart at age 30, 40, 50, 60. I've seen some people with a 1-in-a-million spouse who acts as a caretaker. And someone might be lucky and find the perfect job with a good work environment. And all of those situations could end at any time. So, "disability” depends on both on the person and their environment.

Self-diagnosed "subclinical" Aspie might do. "Subclinical" implies that you have all the personality characteristics, but you don't have an actual impairment that warrants clinical treatment - especially if you did have once, but don't have any more. If you have developed the social skills, can manage your emotions (anxiety, depression, anger), have no significant sensory sensitivities that restrict what you can do, need no accommodations (special lighting, noise-free area, time-outs to prevent meltdowns, etc), are able to work despite distractions (OK executive function), etc then you don't have a disorder, but you apparently have the Asperger personality type. I think DSM-5 is (or was) going to introduce a "subclinical" category of severity to deal with cases like yours.

Totally. But I got diagnosed only because Asperger's is my current special interest. Not for service. Not for anything else.

And in my opinion, I'm really high functioning, most of the time...

Self-diagnosed or unofficially diagnosed (since it's not just myself) subclinical Asperger-type sounds about right.

It's not as if Asperger's hasn't caused any problems for me at all in adult life, just not perhaps clinically significant. eg:

* I have a girlfriend now, but she is my first and we started dating when I was 23. I hadn't dated at all until I was 22, and that was a baffling and embarrassing failure. My failure with women to that point made me quite depressed and it was largely my need for routine that kept me functioning.

* I had performance issues at my last job from frustration at not being permitted to fix certain things that were "just not right!" that others appeared to "just roll" with, digging too deeply at times to solve problems, ambiguous direction, problems understanding the particular needs of certain managers re: communication; my superiors noted that they couldn't understand why someone with such obvious skill and knowledge had problems. I left before it became a major issue.

* Saw counsellors at university for help with anxiety, due partly to assessing threat of every stranger in the vicinity due to inability to understand people's basic motives.

* Saw psychologist recently to deal with stress caused by frequent inability (noted by team leader) to handle people acting "wrongly" in and out of workplace.

As long as I can have a workplace where directions are clear, minimal politics (or insulated from it by my manager), obsession with detail is an asset, I don't have to listen to multiple conversations, no social obligations, I'm generally fine. My current job is pretty good that way.

I guess I have been lucky with my jobs so far, but terrible with romantic relationships / dating (first real gf at age 36, no gf now). I was fortunate I always felt enough drive and courage to help me get over difficult situations during my life, my studies, and to be honest, I can thank a lot to my mother and one of my closest friends.

So, is having no girlfriend and family clinical or subclinical? That is the question. Among all adversities resulting from my "mild" symptoms, this one is really stands out, but I'm afraid nobody will listen to me...

I work, but I've never had a "real job", I have a son but I've only had one relationship and that was based on lies and manipulation. I don't know where I fit in. I'm past 50 and nobody asks anymore why I'm not doing better and I've learned not to complain about my life. I accept the consequences of my choices (and non choices) and understand there are some things I can't do even if I'm not sure why.. Do they use the global scale of functioning when they diagnose adults?