Anyone believe parents rules and live by them?

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liveandletdie
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21 Sep 2011, 3:28 am

For most of my life I lived my some of my parents rules and am just now coming to realize they might be hypcrytical and wrong.
No specific examples unfortunately...but can anyone relate to living by rules only to find out they are kinda of worthless?


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League_Girl
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21 Sep 2011, 3:32 am

Do you mean like when you lived with them or do you mean following them as an adult even though you aren't living with them anymore?



liveandletdie
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21 Sep 2011, 3:37 am

Well i still live with them...growing up mostly, kind of like when you take everything at face value or taking it literally.
Like if someone said they were holding a green potato and you believed them but 10-20 years later you found out they were really holding a red potato or no potato at all.


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y-pod
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21 Sep 2011, 6:13 am

I started lying to them regularly when I was 4. So no definitely not. :) Sometimes we got into trouble for breaking rules or promises, sometimes it's just because they were in a bad mood. There's no consistency in what would set them off.

The only shock I got after I moved out was finding that some other people are actually nice, and lying is optional to nice, understanding people. :o I am very grateful that I could relax a bit then. I could actually start to uphold my own moral standard.

I think lots of aspies don't really respect authorities. They need to earn our respect first.


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MagicMeerkat
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21 Sep 2011, 6:33 am

Seeing how I still live with my parents, yes I do. I'm an adult though so I can pretty much do whatever I want.


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Verdandi
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21 Sep 2011, 6:43 am

No. A lot of my parents' rules were punitive and downright hypocritical. I mostly ended up coming up with my own rules.



Surfman
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21 Sep 2011, 8:20 am

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DonDud
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21 Sep 2011, 8:38 am

I live on my own, but visit my parents very often. Sometimes I feel a bit too bound to their expectations (or what I assume to be their expectations... this can be a problem, because I don't really know what they expect of me in a lot of ways, and I'm afraid to ask). I look at everyone else and the things they do, and wonder where they get the courage to do things their parents would surely disapprove of. I'm not saying that I wish I were that way, or that I wish to do those things, but I do wish I felt more independent in some respects.



liveandletdie
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21 Sep 2011, 10:47 am

There were rules I did not agree with and follow...but some they manipulated me enough to get me to believe the rules.
But now as an adult I realize they probably didn't follow half of these rules themselves.
I agree dondud, I hope to not be incredibly bound to them after I move out.


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Sweetleaf
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21 Sep 2011, 2:47 pm

Well there where really never any consistant rules......but when I was younger I would always freak out if I was hanging out with my sister, brother and cousin for instance if I thought my mom might be mad about whatever we were doing. I am living at my moms place and no I do not feel the need to follow the 'rules' I grew up with......then again I can't say I know what her rules pertaining to smoking cannabis would be that was just one of those things not to talk about and well I smoke it and don't really know how to approach her about that so I just keep it to myself.



btbnnyr
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21 Sep 2011, 2:53 pm

My parents' rules generally made sense, because they were all geared towards not getting me killed in various manners. I can't recall any that were very hypocritical or wrong.



TheFangirl
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21 Sep 2011, 2:59 pm

I never had too much trouble with the rules growing up, but my parents never said "because I said so" or anything like that. If I thought something was unfair, they listened to me and either explained it to where I understood their reasoning or they decided that I was right. Sometimes when I was a teenager I didn't actually follow their rules, but it wasn't because their rules were bad. It was just because I wanted to do what I wanted to do even though it wasn't necessarily smart to do so. In other words, I knew I was breaking good rules but I just didn't feel like following them.


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liveandletdie
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21 Sep 2011, 10:30 pm

Seems like there would be more people....when there is so many people living at home and many have said that aspies are prone to be manipulated- what better people to manipulate you then your parents?


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littlelily613
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21 Sep 2011, 10:33 pm

My parents had reasonable rules. When I disagreed, they knew it. That was rare though, because they were fairly lenient and most of their rules were common sense.


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IdahoRose
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21 Sep 2011, 11:31 pm

I live with my parents and follow their rules and beliefs. A lot of people accuse me of not thinking for myself, but the thing is, I could choose to rebel if I wanted to. I just don't see any reason to do so. My parents aren't cult leaders - they're not forcing me to do anything I don't want to do. Besides, who would it objectively make more sense to listen to - some strangers off the Internet? My brother who isn't even out of high school yet? Or my parents - who have a combined 100+ years of life experience between them, who know me better than anyone since they raised me, and have never given me any reason to believe that what they say isn't true?



y-pod
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21 Sep 2011, 11:35 pm

Wow so none of your parents ever beat you up for things like coming home too late, or breaking a dish or forgetting to do your homework? You lucky people. When I was a kid I didn't know any other kid who would NOT have gotten into trouble for those examples. I remember helping my mom in the kitchen and I tried to crack open an egg but missed the bowl and smashed it all over myself. I was terrified, but my mom didn't scold me that time. I think I'm eternally grateful for that. :D


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