Autistic Adults

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Hi all.

I'm one of those autistic adults who sometimes can't take no for an answer. Because of this I have crying spellls, but am able to get over it and not let it fester within me when I can't get my favorite thing. So I substitute it for something else which has worked out great.


But, I have an autistic adult friend that not only can't take no for an answer because she can't get her special item. But speaks as if she is going to commit suicide and cries a lot because she don't have her special item. It's really sad because it's getting worse everyday and this has been going on for more than a year now. So should the person that owns that special object give it to her?

How can a person approach an autistic adult who is bent on getting a special object when it is unobtainable? Any suggestions would really help to calm my friend down and find a substitute.

Dirtdigger

Unfortunately this is one of those 'you have to be cruel to be kind' sort of situations. Giving in to her would let her think that behaving in this way will get her everything she wants. It's also not fair on whoever owns the object and then has to give it up. I live next door to a guy with mid-functioning autism who absolutely loves tractors and combine harvesters. He has poor concept of money and can't understand why no one will buy him a fleet of tractors and combine harvesters. Sometimes he gets really angry about this. The staff here at our home try and be consistent with what they say, so that when he gets upset, no one says the 'wrong' thing. In the past when he has wanted something, staff have stupidly said, 'yes you can have one someday' which is ridiculous because how the heck can anyone afford to buy him a tractor? Health and safety would have a field day (literally) over it as well!

Other than that I can't really offer much advice.

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

Hi Jellybean

You have been a big help and I really appreciate it. However, I'm trying not to be mean to her, but may have to before it's over with. Some of the others have gotten angry with her because of her persistance. I really don't know if counseling would help get her feelings under control or not. I really care a lot about my friend and I would love to see her get her special object, but it is just out of the question and she needs to realize this. But, I'm just at a lost as what can be done.

I collect backhoe loader replicas, because I love these machines. I love them so much so that I bought a real one to operate and just play around with. But, I was able to pay for all my models including my real backhoe loader with the money I earned while I was still working. As much as I was wanting someone to donate one to me, I knew that wasn't going to happen. Even though I was a bit stressed out over this I really calmed down afterwords. So, like me she will have to fight those little demons in her so they don't get the best of her.


Dirtdigger