To DX or not to DX...

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that is the question.

I am sure that there have been many threads on this topic, but there is no search and I couldn't find one, so I am starting a new one. I hope that is OK.

I am a 31 yo male. I was initially diagnosed as autistic as a child, but then my language development normalized. My social and motor-function development never did normalize. After countless specialists and endless hours disceting every nuance of my unusual youth I was left with a giant ? over my head. At the very least I know that whether it is a matter of brain function, or just a generalized social dysfunction that I face the same daily challenges as those with AS.

So I am now at the point where I am questioning whether or not to get a diagnosis.

One the one hand, it would be such a relief to know that I am not just a lazy, incompassionate, socially aquard and obsessive person who should be functional but just isn't. It would be a blessing to know that the reason that people lie and play all of the little games that they do is because they are just normal, and that the reason I just don't get it is because I am not wired to get it. It would be nice to know all of the details of how this affects me day to day so that I could build a meaningful self image. It would be nice to be able to explain to my friends and family that I really do care about them, that I don't mean to hurt them when I forget to call, of forget thier birthday, I just can't grasp what those things actually mean to them. Or to explain to any future girlfriends or employers, this is what I have, this is how it works and this is what we can do to have a healthy mutually furfilling relationship.

On the other hand, there is the stigma, and all of the pity and misunderstanding that come with that. There is my entire self concept. What happens to me when I accept that I can't fix this? My whole life has been a struggle to overcome so many of these issues, what if I just stop bothering? Do I just want a DX because it is easier to accept that than it is to change?

I have always erred on the side of knowledge, and I am leaning towards knowing. My least favorite saying in the world is "ignorance is bliss", it's never been blissfull to me!

I was hoping that I could get some of your feelings about your DX, especially from those who were diagnosed as adults. Was it a good thing for you? Do you wish that it had never happened?

I haven't been diagnosed, and I don't see any reason to. If I ever do see a reason to, I'll look into it. What I say comes from that perspective. The only question I can see, is what will be best for you, and it sounds like those are the questions you're asking, so I'd say you're on the right track.

I'd point out that getting a mental health diagnosis isn't something clear and objective, like getting a blood test for a liver disorder or something like that, but it sounds like you've ridden the mental health merry go round more than me, you're an expert at being a patient, or client, so anything I could tell you, you already know.

If somebody doesn't feel comfortable being around me because of the way I act or the way I talk, I don't think telling them I'm a certified aspie will suddenly make them enjoy my company, but your opinion on this is worth as much as mine and your circumstances may be very different.

It scares the sh-t out of me when people start talking about their impressions, because the impressions people get of me are usually wrong. We're not talking about the same kind of skill as a machinist here, and it might be worth asking what the diagnoser knows about aspergers that you wouldn't be able to find out for yourself.

If you recognize that specific things you are doing, or not doing, are hurting people you care about, wouldn't it be simpler and more effective to alter your behavior than to display a diagnosis and an excuse? I don't mean selling your soul, more like calling them to say happy birthday.

Your idea made sense, getting input from people who have been diagnosed, so I'll quit. As for girlfriends, the last one I had looked fine in mammoth skins, but that was a while ago.

Deej, I can't offer you any advice because I'm in exactly the same place as you - I really don't know how to proceed as regards a DX at the moment. Just thought I'd post to let you know you're not alone where you are!

A DX provides an explanation for your issues and this can increase your sense of self esteem because you have validation that certain difficulties are not caused by moral failing on your part.

I think it is also very important to be aware that the initial DX for AS might only be one of the necessary steps in the process of dealing with issues related to AS.

In my case I was glad to get the DX for AS and that was satisfactory for awhile. But then I realized I had to go even further and I needed to get a DX for the co-morbid issues associated with my AS. For example, I have had low grade chronic depression for years. Recently the depression worsened. I came to realize as a result of the DX that I had co-morbid OCD and depression and that this was treatable with medication. The initial DX for AS was only the first step on the path.

Those professionals don't know a damn thing about autism or asperger's. There isn't even a clear definition between the two. I have recieved quite a number of contradictory diagnoses throughout the course of my 19-year life, and it's lead me to conclude that they simply don't know as much about the way my mind works as I do. In my opinion, the only one who can diagnose this is you.

On the other hand, there are legal benefits to having proof you are disabled, so that's something to think about. But as far as hoping it will satisfy self-worth, there's no point. I mean, really, if they were to tell you you were an NT, would you believe them?

The main reason for professional ignorance is that they study us like animals rather than talking with us about our experiences, so of course that's going to get things wrong. It's why I'm always so happy to see professionals going on here to actually learn about us via interaction, but that's rare.

Kamex, I sympathize if you've had some bad experiences with doctors. But in my experience, there are competent doctors out there who can make an accurate diagnosis. Also, it is possible to educate yourself so that you can have meaningful discussion with health experts so that a diagnosis isn't simply "imposed" by some authority over the patient.

Your thinking about whether or not the experts are capable of helping is quite dichotomous. Such thinking can prevent a person from getting the help that they need that is available.