About babies.

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I'm not a people person. I know it very well so when some situations arise I know I won't fit in even if I try. Something that I loath is when people come and visit and I don't know anything about it ( I live at home with parents) so I come downstairs into the kitchen all tired, yawning and my clothes are in distress. And "POOF" there's someone sitting at our dinner table and my brain goes into freeze-mode. This morning I went down the stairs and found a sleeping baby in the hallway in some kind of carriage (probably the wrong word). Instantly I know where this is going and the mother is found to be in the kitchen talking to my mum. So when the greetings are done and the baby wakes up, hell begins. I have no love for children at all. I don't want to hold them, cuddle with them, look at them or talk about them. Usually people would, not saying NT's here 'cause in my opinion both Autistic people and NT's could like kids. I suppose I'm decent in hiding the fact that I don't adore people, but when there's a baby involved I can't hide it as well. Normally, as a woman, you are supposed to talk to the baby in a high pitched voice or ask to hold it. I on the other hand stay as far away as I possibly can.

A few years ago I had this friend that recently had given birth. I met her briefly once while she was out carrying him around. She was the one to make contact and asked if I'd met her child yet. I said "no" and she told me I could say something to it. I don't think babies are cute, I prefer kittens, they are cute. So my response to the pinkish alien looking creature was something like, "Uh, well, hello you." I also tried to smile and say he was cute, both failed miserably. Those are the times that I wish so much I could at least lie decently. I can't control what emotions or feelings I portray on my face even if I try. Faking joy or happiness are impossible.

Today though the little creature looked at me lots and both my mum and the other mother smiled and waited for me to say something to acknowledge the alien across the dinner table. During the entire time I was eating my breakfast and listening in on their conversation did I ever try to make contact. I managed to escape the situation by saying I had to do something elsewhere.

This is me not understanding why on earth babies are so sacred to people everywhere. I also loathe people, usually old women or just women in general who look at me with disbelief when I announce (when asked) when or if I want a baby. I really hate when they respond by laughing a bit and continuing with "You just wait and see, you'll change when you meet the right person." You can't reason with them at all on any level. They seriously believe that a life without babies are a life not worth living. Well f**k of I say and usually get a pissed of angry mother trying to change my opinion by force.

Babies will not always be babies.

I know, I'd thank god for that if I was religious. I do not like them when they're babies, I kind of despise kids, I have problems with teenagers and I can't understand adults. Let's not talk about old people.

I think a fear or loathing of babies is quite common for some of us on the spectrum. I think often it is more obvious when that person is both on the spectrum and a woman. Guys aren't expected to be quite so 'hands on' with babies, but women are supposed to be naturally maternal and love all little babies. I have never felt this feeling except for towards my pet rabbits. I find babies quite repulsive to be honest. The only one I enjoy watching is myself when I was a baby purely because I can't remember any of it and I find that so fascinating!

I try to tolerate babies. I try not to get angry if they are screeching (a noise which can make my brain overload) but that is as far as I am willing to go. I have a great excuse for not holding babies though. My Tourettes! Firstly it could be physically dangerous for the baby if I hold it and have a massive convulsive tic, secondly I will be getting thought 'ruminations' that I am going to harm the baby in some way. When I tell people I have TS and that's why I don't want to hold the baby, they are fine with that (and probably quite relieved!) but if I didn't have the TS I don't know what I would do. Probably just leave the room and play Pokémon until the baby has left!

As for 'baby talk' it comes naturally to me when I am talking to my little bunny rabbit, but if I have to do the same to a baby, my voice drops back to it's flat monotone that it is usually in if I am anxious/nervous or unsure.

Babies are small human beings, not aliens. It's okay for you not to like them...but I feel it hinders frienships if your friend has a baby...and you can't manage to at least be supportive. I'm a very logical person, and a mother. So as a new mom years ago, I never talked in a high pitched voice or cooed. I read books about being a mom...and learned to care for my daughter. I'd never "Loved" children before...and it took some getting used to. But I did/do love my daughter who is now 14. I also started working with children a few years after she was born to suppliment my family's income. I found it was something I turned out to be good at even though earlier I didn't "love" children. Once I knew what to do and how to respond to them, it was cool to watch their development. I now work in a Montessori school as an assistant where I get to see a 3 year span of development...I find it fascinating.

I guess what I am saying is that even those of us who are set in our ways and inexperienced and terrified can learn. That's not to say you need to fawn over children...but respond to them as you would to any human being...because that's all they are, human beings.

I feel like that too and always have even as a small child. Younger siblings of other children frightened me.

I get along really well with kids but I can't... tolerate anyone under the age of 4. Ages 0-3 freak me out. I don't know what to do with them and I have no knowledge of their strange baby body language.

I imagine I'd be perfectly fine with cuddling if a baby was my baby but the idea of cuddling a stranger's baby makes me uneasy.

I can't touch them because they'll grow up and... while it's okay for others to approach and to randomly touch, cuddle, kiss a baby, most of these people agree you can't just approach to randomly touch, cuddle and kiss them in 20 or 30 years anymore. Why?

People are fine with babies spitting and puking on them but just 5 years later or even 70 years later having the same person spit and puke suddenly disgusts them. I can't wrap my head around that, it's all the same to me.

What I like about children...one thing I have really come to appreciate about children...is honesty. I'm not talking about children don't ever tell lies, because they lie all the time. I mean they are ridiculously easy to read. I have so much trouble reading adults. But children are exactly like emoticons. Or those faces with feelings written underneath. What you see is what you get..and for me that's one of the big attractions because adults are so so hard for me to read.

The babies are better than the talk about birth surrounding them and they won't cut out any disgusting details

I just don't get it, I don't like them. I feign a polite reaction and try not to say "it". Occasionally they can be cute, but mostly not.

I read things on facebook about how concerned someone is about their child and I fight the urge to say something like who cares it's a baby. I've cut out one or two feeds to avoid the baby stuff. Everyone is now obsessed with breastfeeding friendly. I don't want to see this or see it dribbling and going to the toilet.

Completely agree with you and dislike people/children/babies myself, at least in personal contact, not to mention physical encroachments.

Many of the problems we face nowadays can easily be attributed to overpopulation. It's, however, not only that babies as the result are so sacred to people, but at least as much the question of regulation.

NT's seem to do many things out of a feeling, whereas i need to understand them intellectually.



I've heard these or similar utterances many times about marriage and fatherhood. Often my answer to the latter was that i am not willing to live with a stranger i possibly can't stand, neither to pay for it.

For NT's there seems to come a point where they simply discard all sensible considerations in favor of procreation. I'm well aware that i am the alien in this society, not the NT's. I

I'm not good with babies either. It's nothing personal, and I wouldn't hurt one. I just don't do well with them. Even though babies don't judge you and it doesn't take much social interaction with them - they still seem to be harder to be around for me than older children, teenagers and grown-ups are. Maybe it's because I'm not used to babies. My youngest cousin is 10, and I don't have any other close relatives that are younger, so I don't know what to do with babies. I feel like I'm already turning into a grouchy old hag (even though I'm only 21).

I remember once I went to my mum's friend's house who had a 7-month-old baby girl, and she was sitting on the living-room floor surrounded by baby toys scattered about, and while my mum and her friend went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, I sat on the sofa actually feeling scared of the baby as though she was going to get me. It was a horrible feeling. I just felt so edgy. The baby didn't look up at me - just sat there biting a toy. Most girls of my age would kneel down and speak to them in that soppy voice, or play with them, but not me. I just grunted at her, feeling all shy and not knowing what to do.

I like babies better than I like high school and middle school bullies. I wouldn't want one of my own. I'm a woman, but I'm meant to be a man. I feel that I'm in the wrong body and pregnancy and motherhood would throw me in for a loop. I'm much better off whacking on a drum set. I'll leave the whole motherhood thing to the feminine women who are proud of their gender.

I hate babies. They have no redeeming qualities whatsoever. They're noisy, smelly, require constant attention, you can't talk to them, they're messy, they look like alien monsters and the way they turn most adults around them into gibbering loons reminds me strongly of science fiction B-movies. When asked to hold one, I disappear quickly. If forced to hold one, it will be at arms length.

Eventually they turn into toddlers, which are even worse. At least babies don't move much.

I hate babies and young children as well. They repulse me. I'm told I hated babies when when I was a baby. I get the urge to hurt one if it won't stop staring at me. But then I feel the urge to hurt anyone who stares at me. Animals don't stare me down like babies and other humans do. Just a quick gaze and that's all. I made up my mind at four that I never wanted to have children of the human variety. I had a hystorectomy back in Jaunary and everyone kept trying to tell me I would regret it becuase my biological clock would kick in, but I don't think I ever will regret having it done. I would never play with dolls as a kid and when people came over and insisted I told their babies, I would have a meltdown. By the time my brother and sister-in-law adopted their first two, they realised I wasn't going to hold them. They've since had two more kids and I've never held either one of those either. I will let them hold my hand to keep them safe when we go someplace but that's it. I never go to their birthday parties or family functions. My mom keeps saying I should but I think it's time they just start thinking of me as the distant aunt.

I hope all you haters realize that the attitude you're expressing is identical to the way neurotypical bigots are reacting when they exclude, discriminate, look down on and bully you for being 'different'. Many will treat you that way even if they have no idea about your autism, just because they sense that you're somehow 'alien' to them.

By hating other human creatures for being different than yourself, you become just like those who treat you with hate, derision and disdain. I certainly hope you don't want to be that sort of person.

Babies are human, just like you - and they have a disability - they're helpless without an adult to take care of them. You don't have to love them like they were cute toys, or want to hold and carry them - if they're not yours, there's no practical reason why you should want to - but that's no reason to wrinkle your nose in disgust at their very existence. All you have to say is "No thanks, I'm not good with babies, they make me very uncomfortable."

And I can tell you, however ridiculous a new parent's behavior toward their baby may seem, if you ever had one of your own it wouldn't seem so silly at all. Extending yourself to care about as well as care for another human being is a growth process and after you've successfully done it, you're a bigger person as a result - and by bigger, I mean more complex, much less superficial - more richly human.

For all the Aspergians I see on WP opining about not being able to find a personal relationship, its very insightful to see this sort of attitude expressed toward the most vulnerable humans there are. Making connections is all about opening up and accepting others warts and all, even when its difficult or inconvenient. The next time you find yourself around an infant, consider it a training exercise. If you can make a connection with someone who's completely nonverbal, who can't yet even think in words and exchange a smile and some positive emotion with them, you've learned something valuable about relationships that's almost impossible to express in words.

And gods forbid, you might actually enjoy it.

I just want to clarify that I dislike children, I do not hate them nor look down upon them. It's more of the way I tend to sty away from a certain vegetable that I don't like in food. Sure I'll eat it but I won't love it. For me I suppose it's all about uncertainty, I simply don't know what to do around those small creatures and in my opinion it, they, aliens, small creatures is not a way of making the kid or whatever feel less worth as a human being. I'd never hurt a baby or a kid.

I have a smaller sister whom I love, but I still feel uncertain around her as I do with every other human being in all ages.

On the contrary, sirrah. I appreciate babies and their necessity to continue the species. I simply don't want the things anywhere near me. I feel much the same way about sewage works and factories - good to have, but don't want to live next door to them.

And I don't hate them for being "different". I hate them for being noisy, smelly, irrational and generally irritating. The same applies for human beings of any age, race, gender or neurological condition - if they tick those boxes, I hate 'em.