Misconceptions about us

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There are a lot of misconceptions about Autism/Asperger's out there. Which ones bother you the most?

There are two in particular that get to me.

The first is the idea (among those who are not educated about it) that it reflects a lack of intelligence. I don't need to go on too much about how this is wrong, five minutes browsing these forums shows that Autistic/Asperger's people are quite likely more intelligent than the average person.

The other is the idea that we lack emotion. I may not be able to read other people's emotions, and I may have trouble identifying and expressing mine correctly, but that does not mean I do not feel them. Sometimes they are more than I can bear, but I've learned through negative reinforcement that, the less expressive I am, the better I do with people. This does not make me some kind of unfeeling, emotionless robot.

I am not sure if you meant it this way, but I absolutely detest it if people are talking about aspergers and then procliam that "everybody has a bit of aspergers in them" and then proceed to act as if we are making our problems up and portray us as some munchhausen cases...

One that I hear is that you can't have autism if you're outgoing/extrovert/not shy, etc. Trying to explain that my extrovert daughter may have autism, when the other person has this idea in their head, can be quite challenging.

With intelligence, if Aspergers is mentioned, some are likely to say, 'Aren't they all geniuses?'

I've heard the lack of emotion thing too and that really got to me, especially as I'm actually an extremely emotional person. If I was to express even half of it, it would be too much for me or others to take.

I hate it when people assume you are intelligent because you've got autism. I am not intelligent, just average so it makes me feel rubbish when people say that all people with AS are intelligent.

I haven't actually told anyone about the probability that I'm on the spectrum. I'm afraid that alot of people see autism as a "mental illness" . . . These are people who don't know the difference between a psychological and neurological disorder. That really bugs me (not that mental illness is something to look down on) there's a clear difference here, just because my brain works differently than a "neurotypical" brain doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with it!

It also irks me that people say autistics/asperger's have no empathy or emotion. I find it completely and inexcusably ignorant when people make assumptions like this. I have intense feelings of empathy (I think alot more than most people!) Sure, most of the time I draw a complete blank on how to properly express these emotions, but they exist just the same. Also, it is very possible for most of us on the spectrum to learn how to deal with and express emotion.

I've only told one person. I hide it for the exact same reason.

I have a younger cousin who has been diagnosed. With all the things I've heard my family say about it, I think I'm better off in hiding.

I hate how some people think we're evil, or that we're demon-possessed, or actually demons. Well I used to hate, now I just laugh at the absurdity of that notion. It disturbing that there are still people, particularly a few far right-wing Christians who still believe this while the "dominionist" movement in this country is getting stronger. Look them up these nuts want to establish a theocracy.

I also hate how people think we're stupid. I mean I guess I am stupid in some ways but the ways I am smart outweigh them. I'm in college in a challenging degree program so I'm secure enough not to worry about this but wouldn't personally care even if I wasn't in college.

I hate how people and the media especially Autism Speaks overdramatizes this. Can they show one example of a guy or girl on the spectrum whose life is going great? For the longest time I thought Asperger's meant I was essentially doomed to a lifetime of endless disappointment and depression and then I realized that's absurd and I have as much potential for living a fulfilling life as anyone else.

I personally love it when people say everyone has a little bit of Aspergers, because its true. That's why it's called a spectrum. This is one difference in human variation. When I hear that it tells me people don't think of this as a big deal, which is good because it's not a big deal.

I really hate pity. There is NOTHING to pity. It's like pitying someone for being left-handed. Can't say I've really ever ran into pity. There's plenty of NTs I've met where I thought "thank God I didn't turn out like that." There's many NTs that are alright, but for all I know I wouldn't like the NT version of myself. Maybe I would be willfully ignorant. Maybe I would even be some kind of looks-obsessed meathead.

I hate any assumptions people make about us that can be traced to reification fallacies. Reification is the very commonly committed fallacy of treating words and symbols as if they were the thing itself. Since we think in sensations instead of words and symbols we rarely make this fallacy, while this practically dominates the NT brain. The kinds of things people will go on believeing, even when you definitively show them they are wrong is baffling. But when these assumptions are made I remind myself how this ability not to be fooled by linguistic constructs sets me apart in a good way. If I could go back before I was born and was asked "Would you rather think based on real sensations or based on man-made symbols?" the decision would be easy, I'd choose real sensations. I get the feeling most NTs would say the same thing. Given a choice nobody wants to have a brain that is easily mislead and reprogrammed by society, and then they go and tell people who were fortunate enough to have this brain that they are sick and need to be cured.

All in all though I've discovered that surprisingly people in real life don't see us as being as different as the media would have you believe. People I mention Asperger's Syndrome too don't seem to care, or act any differently towards me. Some people will joke about it, but not anymore than they joke about anything else.

This stuff really is not a big deal to most people.

Can you give a specific example?

People thinking we are just uncaring people who have no empathy. I also hate it when they mix as*hole behavior up with AS assuming we are just as*holes because of it.

I hate it when people act like we are children or something and should be treated as such. Same as if they see us as one.

I hate it when they think spelling things out to us or making things clear or helping us out by telling us what is not appropriate is treating us like a child.

Worst of all, people blaming things on the AS. Things you believe in or what your opinions are on something or your views or what you do, they say it's the AS.

Yes I have actually seen this ignorance by reading about it and also the movie Adam because of what Beth said to him and what I read on the IMDB board about the movie. Plus the first part comes from my mother and things have been blamed on my condition.


Another thing I see is when people see online that an aspie is being an as*hole, they assume they are using their AS to be one. That's what I suspect anyway because how can you tell if someone is using their AS as an excuse to troll online and say rude and mean things than them just being an as*hole without using their AS as an excuse? Just because they happen to have AS doesn't mean they are using it as an excuse to be one. That's like saying NTs use their NTness as an excuse to be ignorant about AS and not really understand it. I haven't seen that accusation yet.

I hate it when people say AS is just a fancy word for being socially awkward and not fitting in and that the condition doesn't exist. Same as when people think AS is a new word for very smart.

The whole "lack of empathy" thing and resulting conflation in people's minds between the ability to read other people and the ability to care about them. These two things are lumped together by the English language.

The big problem with the reification fallacy is how it seems like you're being logical when you're not.

They say "A can not be not-A" but this is only true if we assume that "A" by itself is being used to encompass every conceivable and potential aspect of "A". There is no single word in the English language that would meet that criteria, yet people reason with each other as if they did. So people assume "lack of empathy" means "lack of empathy" in every meaning of the word and assume that a person could not both have low empathy and high empathy. The consideration that these words are just representations and it is possible to fit the definition in some aspects and not others is often overlooked.

Thank you. The idea of the fallacy made perfect sense to me, but I could not think of any specific examples.

I hate that people see autism and AS as a mental illness.

I also hate it when people take every chance that they can to yell at me and humiliate me.

Last edited by CockneyRebel on 14 Sep 2011, 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This strikes a cord for me! I have this crazy step-grandmother & when I was growing up she would tell everyone that I was possessed. . . I think she thought this because she witnessed me throw a small tantrum when I was a child and also the fact that I was generally a strange kid who didn't make good eye contact or act exactly like every other kid. I'm now kind of shocked that this opinion came from a woman who was also a teacher! I guess maybe she had never worked with any children with autism. . . or maybe she thought all kids who are a bit different must be possessed.

I hate when people quickly judge about what having AS/ASD means by browsing superficial information on the net, and reject me accordingly. And I hate I can't explain it them the way I should.

Most people have a little bit of Asperger's in them. Some people have a lot of Asperger's in them. That's why it is called a spectrum: because we are not all the same, we don't all have the same amount - it is a spectrum ... not a uniformity.

Yes. This does not mean however, that those of us diagnosed with the syndrome thus are whiners and do not have any more problems than the ' standard' person.