What made biggest difference for you in fitting in with NT?

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18 Mar 2012, 3:04 am

How did you improve things like eye contact, reading body language, sensory issues, facial recognition or anything else?



BruceCM
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18 Mar 2012, 3:10 am

No problems with eye contact but unable to learn beyond the obvious body language/ facial expressions, etc, really. I don't fit in with most NTs. :lol:


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rock18567
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18 Mar 2012, 3:47 am

I am waiting to hear the answer.



Sweetleaf
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18 Mar 2012, 3:52 am

I haven't.


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18 Mar 2012, 3:58 am

Reading body language and social cues, I can attribute that to my awesome spatial skills. Eye contact, I'm good with if I know the person well enough. Otherwise, there's sunglasses, or my steampunk goggles. Sensory issues, nobody makes a big deal about mine. I get them to relate to me about their own. Regardless of neurology, EVERYONE has sensory issues, so I talk about it in a way that makes them able to relate and understand.


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Keyman
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18 Mar 2012, 8:16 am

Handling sexual partner as a work.



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18 Mar 2012, 8:28 am

I don't know whether I improved, but I learned over the years. To me it seems like work as well, but there's no other way I could learn about it.


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18 Mar 2012, 9:25 am

I improved eye-contact by looking people straight in the eye. That's all there is to it in my case.

I also keep in mind to look away every now and then, mimicking how most normal people do it. I think it's still unnatural but it seems enough to "fool" a lot of people including normal professionals and a handful of ASD specialists.

Other than that... I don't know. I accepted the nauseation it caused and the physical discomfort from getting sick and feeling like needing to throw up and just worked though it? (and having to hold back tears when I started because apparently, getting extremely disgusted animates the lacrimal glands to avoid the disgusting rotten object to find its way into your body through your nose/eyes?)

I had to get over the fact that doing it made me feel sick because something inexplicable about eyes is ugly and gross. Ever since it doesn't make me cringe from disgust so much anymore, I can look people in the eye.

I don't do it with friends and family and other normal people/acquaintances who I know so much though because I fail to see the point in looking people in the eye that take me seriously anyway. I struggle with spontaneous everyday conversation so I won't invest my energy into looking at them.


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18 Mar 2012, 9:51 am

I'm my own person.


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ScientistOfSound
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18 Mar 2012, 10:11 am

I don't fit in with NT's because I'm not an NT. To be honest, I don't want to fit in with them, most "normal" people are boring.



Joe90
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18 Mar 2012, 10:13 am

Knowing what to say and acting more interested in the other person by asking them more questions. This seems to be the most biggest issue and it holds me back from making friends.

Otherwise, I can read body language and tone of voice and face expression and emotions and all that really well.


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Taybot97
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18 Mar 2012, 10:37 am

Keeping my mouth shut unless i know it is relevant and not offensive. I used to say alot of stupid things, I still do, but I used to do it more often.



CanisMajor
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18 Mar 2012, 2:27 pm

Some things I picked up over time. Other things, I studied about. I read about body language that helps elicit trust, like eye contact. I've also practiced different things (like trying to look casual by leaning on things, or professional with good posture, etc) with different people and studied the way people reacted to me. At work I have to be very conscious of the professional setting in order to keep my back straight up, smile, look people in the eye, sound cheery and confident, etc. I often can't figure out what the best thing to do with my arms is, though. Keeping them at my sides feels awkward, and crossing my chest would come across as a "keep away" signal. I usually end up clasping my hands together in front of my hips as a way to look friendly yet still feel comfortable.

It's much easier when I'm with a friend/some friends and can just be myself. They don't get offended if I cross my chest or stare off into the distance. Though usually I'm smiling of my own accord then, because I'm having genuinely fun.

So yeah, studying and practicing, that's how I got it. I still have trouble regulating my tone of voice, apparently, since I still get complaints sometimes for having "an attitude". But that seems to be something that I'll just never understand, at this rate.



Kiseki
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18 Mar 2012, 11:38 pm

When I was a kid I wouldn't make eye contact with people I didn't like. One of these people was a teacher (not mine, but another one at the school). I remember she came into our classroom one day and went around to all of us in a circle and we were supposed to shake her hand and say hello. I refused to do it and she forced me to stand up and yelled at me in front of everyone. I learned pretty quickly after that I'd better not refuse anymore.

Other things- I've always observed people, so I guess just from watching. I picked up the way I was meant to behave in order to get along, but it somehow never really worked. I'm still weird. After some time I decided to be more confident about it though and use it to entertain people instead of make them think I'm a loser.


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tcorrielus
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19 Mar 2012, 7:22 pm

There are a bunch of things that I need to work on in order to become successful in develop social relationships with NTs. However, I am now able to make eye contact with people that I am talking to or having conversations with. Also, I have developed a sense of humor, meaning that I try not to take things too seriously. Eye contact and a sense of humor are some of the things that are characteristic of NT friendships.



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19 Mar 2012, 7:43 pm

I didn't. :twisted: I just started taking my lizard with me everywhere I go and people tend to notice her before they notice anything "off" about me. By the time they do realise there is something "off", I've comensated for it to them by being so knowledgeable about lizards.


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