Question from a parent about my 14 yr. old son

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My son is 14, has Aspergers and I wondered if it might be helpful for him to read about Aspergers (what makes him tic, what challenges he may have in school/work, examples of successful Aspergians, etc.). He was diagnosed at 9 and we did discuss it back then and he has read "Different Like Me" (he loved it and still has it on his bookshelf 4 years later) and a few other articles. He also was in a small social skills group for awhile but it became pointless and we stopped going...he isn't on medication and has no other therapy and he's doing well.

I realize he's young but I would like him to begin to be more a little more "self aware" - I'm not expecting self actualization at age 14 but I thought over the next few years I would like to incorporate some helpful Aspergers info. into his homeschool curriculum. Is that too much?

It just seems like I feel this urgency to help as much as possible during his teen years - it goes so fast! but I don't want to stress him out or be an annoying mom.

I'd recommend simply making the resources and information available to him but not mandating that he study it. I wish I'd known what Aspergers is when I was that age. I imagine I would've benefited from that knowledge.

I feel exactly the same way, my son is 14 as well and is on medication that is helping him tremendously. He still attends public school though, I have brought up the idea of home schooling and he wants no part of it. I have purchased books for my son and he simply will not read them. He tells me he doesn't think he has a problem, even though he has been diagnosed. I think the meds are making him feel normal, which is good. There is an animated show called Mary and Max that he might enjoy. It's about a man who becomes penpals with a young girl, she has no idea he has asperger's. Might be something you can sneak in without him realizing what it is. It's similar to the Wallace and Grommit movies. I have noticed that since my son has attended high school this year, he has matured and is taking school more seriously. I believe when they start seeing how close the are to adulthood, it makes them start thinking. I would always make information available, he will probably look at it when he's alone, because even though he has Aspergers, he is still a teenager and will not do what Mom says!

so true! My son has always loved learning and is a great student but this year he announced "this is high school so I'm taking it more seriously" This is our 6th year of homeschooling so I guess those last 5 years were....just for fun!? it's sort of true because "the real world" doesn't really care what you learned in middle school and my son doens't do ANYTHING "just because" there must be a good reason.

Yeah definitely. I wish I knew what aspergers was when I was 14 cuz maybe I wouldn't have suffered so much trying to be something I am physically incapable of being (normal).

Since I am not much older than your son, I say it's a safe and wonderful thing to learn more about Aspergers. However, do not badger him about learning it if he doesn't want to. It's his life.

My parents gave me books about Asperger's when I was younger than your son (actually, I took some of them ), and I think they definitely helped.

I would recommend him to this place.. i am 16 and i really learned alot about myself in here.

just show it to him and give him a light push
but if he really dislikes it, don't push.

you can also make him a profile and have him pm me if you want to.
i would love to help him.

Yeah, he could definitely benefit from having the stuff available. No need to force him to read it; but having it? Heck yeah. Knowing about your own diagnosis can be quite useful.

There wouldn't be a problem with a fourteen-year-old here, especially with parental permission. I guess he'd be banned from the "adult autism issues" section, but beyond that, we keep it pretty PG-13.

Oh, and take a look at this--
"A Survival Guide for People with Asperger Syndrome"
http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/~alistair/survival/

It's common-sense advice and I found it quite useful.

I would recommend for him to watch some aspergers/autism documentaries.

I have aspergers and i pay a lot more attention to videos.

Such great advice everyone!
I decided that this website could be a big help to him - I tried to show it to him years ago but I think he was too young to get into it. So I will gently nudge him in this direction and see what happens -