Love

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Does anybody else have a hard time understanding love? I mean, this is a Aspie thing, right? I'm not just an insensitive duesch bag, I hope.

I find love much easier to understand than hate.

I have a hard time intellectually understanding it, but I'm aware and experienced some of the feelings associated with it, like infatuation, limerence, bonding and other "feel good" moods.

I don't think anybody mentally understands love, and there are so many different kinds of it, too, so it depends on which kind you're talking about it. I've talked to a lot of NTs who sometimes admit they don't understand it, and sometimes have their own opinions, none of which jibe with another, and I've read a lot about it. I think life would be easier if we routinely used the different Greek terms: English doesn't have enough words to cover all them, without using several modifiers for that one slippery word, like "Christian Love", "Romantic Love", "Erotic Love", "Familial Love" -- they're all related, but none of them the same.

I have hard time figuring out love. Like I try to show love to my husband, but its not the same way he wants me to show him love with his definition. I have hard time showing Christian love also, because I can hold grudges so easily and against people or feeling the love of God when reading the Bible which makes me really frustrated and then I think no one loves me or even wants me around. Its really a very tough thing I have issues with

I agree with Sibyl that there are too many different things described by that one word. Need a more specific question.

I can't narrow it down. Thats the problem.

Seriously though, I am afraid that I don't feel it to the extent that I should for my wife or daughter or anybody. It scares me, but I think that it's just the way that I am.

Man, I feel totally insensitive in saying this, but don't feel bad for the way you are and don't care about the way you think you should be, at least don't force yourself to feel if you truly don't. Act as if you care or love them, but don't worry about not feeling it if it's the way you truly are. There's not really much you can do about the way you feel.

I understand affection in the most basic way. Romantic love has completely escaped me. So far, when I 'like' a person, it doesn't feel any different than the feelings I have for friends and family.

I feel like that too much of the time. I know that I love a certain person in a certain way, but I don't feel it completely all of the time. I think that partially comes form ASD, partially from detachment due to stress and anxiety, and partially due to depression dulling emotions, and for some other reasons. I think everyone is like that sometimes. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

This is how I view love:

Love - A valuable gift that can easily be returned. Love is a packaged deal, coming in three styles; romantic, family, and friends. Love is given willingly, not taken by force. The best way to earn some love is to express love yourself.

I was told, very young, that love is the hardest work you will ever have. A relationship needs hard work from both parties to be successful, with times when one partner is doing all the work for no return, and times when things go well. The lasting relationships seem to confirm that hard work pays off.

I've felt romantic love quite often. And when I was a small child I felt love for my parents and for small animals and cuddly toys. So I guess I know those kinds of love from experience. I don't know so much about the kind of love that replaces the acute, romantic love for a sexual partner. People often say that the feeling of being in love gives way to a less intense but deeper feeling.....I've never really had that. Others say that it's possible to still be in love with somebody for a lifetime, so maybe I could do that, if I found somebody compatible enough for that to happen.

But I wouldn't even try to define love. In a way it's just a form of friendship, only much more intense, and unlike friendship it often becomes difficult to see clearly what's going on.

I would say depends on where the love is coming from and what is being loved.

Love is the beauty around us and in us. I cant get closer to the meaning than that.