Autistic adults are being left behind.

Page 1 of 4 [ 52 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4  Next

anneurysm
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,196
Location: la la land

21 Sep 2011, 1:57 am

I have a "special interest" in finding people on the spectrum and observing their characteristics. While many of them continue to impress me and have been met with a lot of success, most of this is attributed to a very strong support network.

I know a few artists and speakers with AS, and all of them seem have parents who are constantly fighting for them. As children, they had access to all the therapies and help they needed because their parents had the energy and the resources to relentlessly ensure that their kids got this help. Luckily, I would include my own parents in this group, although they are nowhere near the dedication these other parents have...and they would have had that dedication if I was the only kid in my family who had issues (my younger sister has an intellectual disability and has high needs).

Anyway, what worries me constantly are the adults that have gotten thrown by the wayside.
I am talking about:

* Adults who are chronically depressed but have no money to access mental health services.
* Adults who have to live with demeaning, inconsiderate or otherwise unsupportive families, and have no way to escape from them.
* Adults who have goals for themselves but don't have supported jobs or any programs to go to that would be essential in order for these goals to be achieved.
* Adults who lack meaningful activities and supports throughout their day. They then try to make friends and a girlfriend inappropriately to ease their frustration and become the laughingstock of the town.

I hate how this is the norm for many of the people I encounter. The people I admire most have managed to escape from an unsupportive environment and learn to take on the world themselves, but that just doesn't happen very often.

Stuff like this just makes me want to cry. I HATE how most services end at 21...hate, hate, hate it!

Just wondering if anyone else shares these views. Let's talk about this crucial issue.


_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


twich
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 305

21 Sep 2011, 2:18 am

I never understood why services like this have an end, it's not like once you hit a certain age, you suddenly don't have the problem anymore. there are so many things wrong when it comes to access for anyone who isn't rich to any sort of health facilities, be it mental or physical in some places. These things can LITERALLY be life saving, yet they're so hard to obtain.



CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,100

21 Sep 2011, 2:32 am

twich wrote:
I never understood why services like this have an end, it's not like once you hit a certain age, you suddenly don't have the problem anymore. there are so many things wrong when it comes to access for anyone who isn't rich to any sort of health facilities, be it mental or physical in some places. These things can LITERALLY be life saving, yet they're so hard to obtain.


It scares me when I hear horror stories like that. You're right- it can be the difference between life and death.



PeaceFrog
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 34
Location: Portland, Oregon

21 Sep 2011, 2:36 am

I'm glad someone out there cares about this issue too! I'm afraid I fall into the less fortunate group, didn't have any support when I was younger and I'm now struggling just to get by. I've never had any kind of access to medical help - no insurance, no doctors, dentists or therapists. Had no idea that there was help out there and now I'm 24 so it's too late, the state doesn't care about me and there are no options open to me. It's quite a bleak situation that unfortunately is becoming the norm for too many of us.

Sometimes I'm overcome with the anger and frustration of knowing that I could be successful if only I had some help. I struggled immensely in school but just slipped through the cracks somehow like I was invisible or something. I've seen the same thing happen too often - these bright kids being ignored in school when they clearly need some help and then kicked to the curb as adults. I have a younger brother who I'm quite positive is on the spectrum and he's so bright but he has trouble with communication and everyone just ignores it. My "parents" are neglecting him the same as they did to me and I'm worried that he's bound to face the same sad situation that I and many others are going through.

If only we had a better system! One where people could get the help that they desperately need so they can thrive and become well rounded, confident & successful individuals.

. . . Sorry about the rant, this topic is also one of my "special interests" - it strikes a very sensitive nerve in me.


_________________
"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out."
? Ray Bradbury

Your Aspie score: 161 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 45


CaptainTrips222
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2009
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,100

21 Sep 2011, 2:51 am

PeaceFrog wrote:
.

. . . Sorry about the rant, this topic is also one of my "special interests" - it strikes a very sensitive nerve in me.


Hey, no problem. If there was ever a place to complain about being short-changed by the system because you don't qualify, this is it. And you're not alone in the way you feel.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 114,591
Location: the island of defective toy santas

21 Sep 2011, 3:38 am

us left-behinds need to help each other as best we can, however we can. each of us has a strength which can help another person who is weak in that particular area, and vice-versa. just a wistful thought, but maybe WP can be the forum to bring such people together. :idea:



JohnnyAspie
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2011
Gender: Male
Posts: 8

21 Sep 2011, 5:10 am

Most adults with ASD no this or will come across this and there are other posts with similar comments every other day. I only have my carerer no family help and have never been helped by anyone outside of the family eventhough they all know my situation. I also have a physical disabilty and leave the house only with my carerer occasionally. I can't and don't ask for help anymore. I have conatcted organisations but they don't reply, offer support or care unless you are famous or they can up their profile and money. We live in a world where charities and publishers and companys make money out of Autism but don't use many people with autism or support those that have autism, they are supposed to be there for us if they don't we can't expect other companys to.

Some times I think whether I would feel any more comfortable and be able to cope with someone with ASD around me as I don't have much experience with someone like me. They only person I have read about that is like me is Fenton Stone from To Kill a Stone Heart by Mason Dove and I don't mind mentioning them because they both have autism and aren't just cashing in on autism and I love the book. ("The people I admire most have managed to escape from an unsupportive environment and learn to take on the world themselves, but that just doesn't happen very often.") Not eveyone that has achieved something has good parents or help and I read that Mason Dove has had to do everything himself and fight all the way even against the so called autism astablishment that are supposed to be fighting for us. I admire people like him because I couldn't do it.

The saying you only know a person if you have lived with them is sort of correct you only know how much support there is when you ask for help. Everyone on here ask these so called organisations for help or advice and see how many reply or re tweet on twitter etc yet you read other things they do bigging themselves up making it seem like they do something or patting each other on the backs. Most people like me will never ask for help especiaaly if it takes so much for you to ask in the first place and then no one does help. It will only get worse when all these children grow up and there is no more money or care left in the world. I do support people like Mason Dove and other people with autism before autism charities and then way be hind the rest of society and people cashing in on people like me.



y-pod
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,698
Location: Canada

21 Sep 2011, 5:50 am

All the adult aspies I know are married, so they're not completely "left behind". Although many of them are not diagnosed and don't have the money or insurance to get diagnosis. I asked some doctors and they actually suggested not getting the label, in case it works against them, say in employment, divorce, legal issues. Imagine if you're getting a divorce and your partner is NT and they say you're autistic, guess who get the children? Another doctor said having the label might increase your auto insurance premium or other similar stuff. Ya well, if I have a heart or kidney condition that might raise my health insurance premium, should I not get a diagnosis because of that?

Most family doctors don't know anything about them and just say you have either anxiety or depression. I think every diagnosed case of adult autism add to the stats and make the government (and people) more aware of it, even if they are done by private clinics. I hope that I'm helping by paying out of the pocket for my diagnosis. Hopefully there will eventuallybe more awareness and programs to help adults.


_________________
AQ score: 44
Aspie mom to two autistic sons (21 & 20 )


Chronos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,698

21 Sep 2011, 6:03 am

Unfortunately y-pod is right.



TheygoMew
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,102

21 Sep 2011, 6:43 am

If only community effort would make a come back without religious conditions.



Seventh
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Sep 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 178

21 Sep 2011, 9:53 am

auntblabby wrote:
us left-behinds need to help each other as best we can, however we can. each of us has a strength which can help another person who is weak in that particular area, and vice-versa. just a wistful thought, but maybe WP can be the forum to bring such people together. :idea:


I agree with auntblabby.

In some ways I'm a struggling AS adult being left behind too (though trying very hard not to be!), but thankfully I have supportive family. They're not really understanding of my AS, but they're supportive in other ways.

I feel bad for those who get no support. I think Wrong Planet is doing an immense social service by being a forum where spectrumites can gather, share stories and support one another.



danmac
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2010
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,652
Location: chi town burbs

21 Sep 2011, 10:32 am

Seventh wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
us left-behinds need to help each other as best we can, however we can. each of us has a strength which can help another person who is weak in that particular area, and vice-versa. just a wistful thought, but maybe WP can be the forum to bring such people together. :idea:


I agree with auntblabby.

In some ways I'm a struggling AS adult being left behind too (though trying very hard not to be!), but thankfully I have supportive family. They're not really understanding of my AS, but they're supportive in other ways.

I feel bad for those who get no support. I think Wrong Planet is doing an immense social service by being a forum where spectrumites can gather, share stories and support one another.
:!: :!: :!:

i always knew me strong points, but was in the dark on my weaknesses(i knew of some of them but didn't know i how to change them) after i looked back into my stuation(i want back to NIU speech dept. and they dumped my file, they purge they system every 10 yrs) i found it odd that there is no system in place for adults. and worse in middle school i was allowed to not go. it was my desition(?).....12yrs old and no contact w/ my parents, they just said fine!
i understand that there was little in place to help kids, i was lucky that a year after givin the"learning disorder" they changed it to develomental disorder. i was lucky, last night one of my friends told me she was just dignosed "behavorl(?) disorder".......what a lazy dignosis


_________________
everything is funny if your looking at it right


Twolf
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 481
Location: Space.

21 Sep 2011, 11:48 am

I need to make a comment about married aspies - marriage doesn't always equal support. Unfortunately, spouses can be as unsupportive as family of origin. Even if you are fortunate enough to have a supportive spouse, that support can be withdrawn at any time. People and circumstances change.

The divorce rate for aspies is high. I'm pretty certain that married aspies are in the minority.

That having been said, it's hard enough (and sad) that family of origin can be so quick to refuse to see one's struggles, blame the person for any problems they choose to see, and reject one ultimately when the chips are down. I'm not the only one who has experienced this, but I can only speak of my experiences.

No one has responsibility for another adult - not family of origin, not society as a whole. If you can't meet basic needs on your own, it doesn't look good. I'm sickened and wish things were very different, but I don't have any ideas in mind. I know you can't make anyone help anyone else. I'm in no position to help another other than sharing my experiences, and giving encouragement.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 117,350
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

21 Sep 2011, 12:02 pm

This is the reason that we should reach out and help each other out. This is also the reason that I've taken it upon myself to help myself as well. Nobody else is going to make me feel welcome. My family isn't going to do it and my peers aren't going to do it. This is something that I need to do, by making myself feel welcome and accepting and celebrating my differences.


_________________
The Family Enigma


MagicMeerkat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jun 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,975
Location: Mel's Hole

21 Sep 2011, 1:41 pm

I never got the services I needed as a kid becuase I was supposedly too inteligent. My mom just should have homeschooled me since kindergarden but she was brainwashed into thinking I needed the "socalization". I got severe PTSD instead of social skills.

I don't think I need help as an adult. Well, at least help functning. I just need to find a vet that will let me "shadow" them but so far none of the vets around here don't even want volenteers because their practices are too small...or some other stupid excuse.

It also wouldn't hurt to be able to find a dealer for my art and paintings but lately I've just been doing Sonic the Hedgehog fan art. How does one find a dealer when your still alive anyway?

I think I might bennefit from seeing a phycologist but my parents won't let me becuase they think they are all pushovers and basicaly just tell you whatever it is you want to hear.


_________________
Spell meerkat with a C, and I will bite you.


Wayne
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2009
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 365

21 Sep 2011, 1:42 pm

Twolf wrote:
I need to make a comment about married aspies - marriage doesn't always equal support. Unfortunately, spouses can be as unsupportive as family of origin. Even if you are fortunate enough to have a supportive spouse, that support can be withdrawn at any time. People and circumstances change.


Not only that, but spouses who support you expect you to support them in return. If you're not coping well, supporting them probably isn't going to happen. If you're not reading them well enough to see where they want and need support, it's also not going to happen. (And them prompting you about their needs is another way of them supporting you) And without you supporting them, sooner or later they're bound to stop supporting you.