Do most Aspies get along with other autistic people?

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bradleyyo
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20 Sep 2011, 11:35 pm

I am 20 years old and believe I could possibly have undiagnosed Aspergers. Back in middle school, I was best friends with this autistic kid. We hung out all the time and even had arguments and what not. He was picked on by everyone else though. It never came to my mind until now that maybe I do have Aspergers since we got along so well.

what do you think?



twich
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21 Sep 2011, 1:03 am

I don't know.. I've always wondered things like this. Not so much that because I have AS, because I just got diagnosed last week, but I've always known I wasn't "normal," and seemed to bond with special needs kids and adults really quickly, still do. Maybe we all have a silent understanding that we need to stick together because the "Normal" people won't always accept us as we are (not just talking autism, but anything that makes you special needs or considered "not normal")



abc123
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21 Sep 2011, 1:46 am

I am interested to know what people say on this thread. I've not known that many AS people. I met a few at a support group but I found it hard to relate mostly as they were so different int terms of education and background.
Again I do bond with people who are not typical e.g. depressive.



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21 Sep 2011, 2:07 am

I am no more likely to get along with an autistic person then I am with an normal person

I don't think autistic people necesarrily get along with other autistics because they're autistic, but more likely because they're both outcasts or, dare I say it, like anime.


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21 Sep 2011, 2:56 am

I tend to instinctively seek for people who are similar to me, eccentric, stand out, quirky, straightforward, not very good socially, sometimes even blunt. I think I did it in all my life. So, as a result, my friends are all more or less on the spectrum, or at least have some traits. I guess my acquaintances share less traits with me, as would be expected, but they are still not 100% NT. I simply tend to get along with unusual people better, although there are some really painful exceptions to it.


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CaptainTrips222
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21 Sep 2011, 3:01 am

abc123 wrote:
Again I do bond with people who are not typical e.g. depressive.


I went to a few aspie support groups too, and in some cases found it hard to connect, but mostly because they didn't seem to want to communicate, or were apprehensive or something. The most recent one is made up of people over 30 and they're wonderful. I kinda relate to bonding with people who aren't typical. Even though they may seem normal at first, I later find out they have some kind of self esteem issue, or some problem. I think people with challenges find each other.



CaptainTrips222
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21 Sep 2011, 3:02 am

abc123 wrote:
Again I do bond with people who are not typical e.g. depressive.


I went to a few aspie support groups too, and in some cases found it hard to connect, but mostly because they didn't seem to want to communicate, or were apprehensive or something. The most recent one is made up of people over 30 and they're wonderful. I kinda relate to bonding with people who aren't typical. Even though they may seem normal at first, I later find out they have some kind of self esteem issue, or some problem. I think people with challenges find each other.



cyberdad
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21 Sep 2011, 3:05 am

I was very close to my brother for many years and he was an undiagnosed autistic. Now after all these years he lives like an NT and I;m revelling in my undiagnosed AS.



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21 Sep 2011, 3:44 am

I can get along reasonably well with most autistics, but I have a personal issue in dealing with them that I am hoping to work out over time. As I have overcome most of my AS traits, I find it satisfying and rewarding to help people on the spectrum with things, as well as providing support to them and talking about issues related to their AS. I feel like I understand them more than most people do, which gives me a minor advanatage.

However, it's really difficult for me to be social or a "hangout buddy" with people who are obviously on the spectrum, as there's a voice in my head telling me to 'correct' their behaviours, especially if they are very obvious. This stems from the merciless 'correcting' of my own behaviours as a kid and teen. It is done out of a weird sort of empathy...I worry about how people will percieve these behaviours and I don't want these people to embarrass themselves. I understand these behaviours and where they come from, it is just very difficult to feel at ease with them on an equal sort of level. It's so discouraging.


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My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.


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21 Sep 2011, 7:38 am

We can appreciate what others like us endure, but that doesn't necessarily mean we'd get along personally. Frankly, NTs are the same way.


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21 Sep 2011, 10:38 am

Not necessarily.
Hell, sometimes I prefer NTs to people on the spectrum.
But, there are some great people from both parties.


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21 Sep 2011, 11:01 am

I have wondered about this before. In secondary school there was a boy in my form who was very noticably on the spectrum (though I didn't know anything about autism/Aspergers at this time). I was one of the few people who didn't make his life a living hell, so he used to gravitate towards me, sit next to me, try to initiate conversation. Looking back, I wonder if he was drawn to me because I too was an outcast, though at this point I wasn't diagnosed with anything and was just the geeky, smelly girl who wouldn't talk to anybody.
I find myself in a similar situation at college, being persued by a young man with ASD.

I wouldn't say I "get on" with other Aspies, because I still find it uncomfortable talking to them or any other person, but they seem to accept me and tolerate me much more than the average person, and vice-versa.



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21 Sep 2011, 11:16 am

Pretty much all of my friends are on the spectrum. However, it's not like I don't get along with NTs. I just find that I cannot make friends with them for some reason; that social "glue" just isn't there. With people on the spectrum, somehow the friendships just happen naturally for me. I'm not the best at maintaining my friendships, either, sometimes disappearing from people's lives for months... but most of them seem to understand that I am busy and need my space. Some NTs have had trouble understanding that in the past. I have tried keeping some NT friendships, but something just never worked out.

I do have one good friend who can be considered NT (non-autistic), though. One other friend/acquaintance, too.


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Last edited by MathGirl on 21 Sep 2011, 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.

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21 Sep 2011, 11:22 am

Not really. It depends on the person. Aspies have their own personalities too, just like NTs, so whoever the person is, whether they may be foreign, religeous, disabled, weird, old, whatever - it all just depends on the person. I might meet an Aspie one day who I don't feel I get along with, but I might meet an NT one day who I become best friends for life with. It all depends on the person.


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21 Sep 2011, 11:48 am

I get along more with autistic people than I do with NTs, because I'm an outcast like they are and I have a similar experience that I can share with them because of it.


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Wayne
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21 Sep 2011, 1:39 pm

I like conversations. Some people on the spectrum don't do conversations, or at least don't seem to do them with me, so I'm not all that interested in spending time with them. Others do conversations - some of them brilliantly - and I love spending time with them.

NTs of course do conversations like crazy, but mostly with each other. I would guess that I just can't play on their level, much like some spectrumites don't seem to play on my level.

I strongly suspect my wife is on the spectrum. I also suspect that I'd be in way over my head if I tried to do a relationship with an NT.

I used to have more trouble with fellow spectrumites because they reflected everything I hated about myself. Accepting myself means I'm more able to handle other people's atypicality and issues without either getting frustrated with them or getting consumed with their problems.