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SuperTrouper
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02 Oct 2011, 6:00 pm

I was at the mall with my mom today. The lights were eating away at me so I went to sit in a chair outside the store, and my mom said to stay right there while she looked for shoes. She called me after about fifteen minutes and said, "Hey, shoes at 30% off of three pairs, and if you buy a pair we can basically pay the same amount I'd pay on these two. Come on, I'll get you some shoes." I love shoes. This was no issue, getting me to suffer under the lights for the sake of shoes.

Anyway, fast-forward... I picked out my shoes. I lost some minutes after that due to the fluorescents setting me off, and suddenly when I "came to" I noticed that there were half a dozen people standing behind me and a guy rather annoyedly saying, "Can I HELP you?! Excuse me, miss? Are you being helped?" I was just kind of absent-mindedly (due to the lights, of course) standing next to my mom, who was paying. I didn't realize that I was blocking a whole register in a very, very crowded store.

The people behind me were scoffing and shaking their heads.

It occured to me afterward that I should've handed them my autism cards, but I was too fuzzy in the moment to do that.



twich
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02 Oct 2011, 6:25 pm

I've definitely spaced out like that, it was before I knew I has asperger's or ADHD, so I just thought I was weird and there was something wrong with me.. Now I understand why. I hate how people react, I doubt you were actually taking up the entire register spot and they just didn't want to have to bother to take the whole 2 steps to the side that they would have had to.



CanadianRose
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02 Oct 2011, 6:31 pm

I don't even know if I would have wasted precious autism cards on the people "scoffing and shaking their heads" at you.

If I had witnessed this - I would have thought these things (even if I didn't think that you might be autistic).

"Gee, maybe this person is having a very small seizure"

"Gee, maybe this person is daydreaming a bit, I will try to get their attention so I can get to the register in some other way, perhaps this woman who might be her mother can assist."

"Gee, maybe this person does not speak English or is hard of hearing or just doesn't know that they are blocking my way to the cash register. I guess I'll wait a moment or two and then there will be room and I can buy my shoes."

"Gee, maybe I can be a little more patient with the rest of the world and find myself getting way less stressed as a result."

Don't worry about what the other people in the store thought.

I hope that you enjoy your new shoes :D

BTW - I find malls extremely irritating - I can smell all the off-gassing of the merchandise and the people who are shopping there are mostly a bunch of consumer zombies. I prefer street front stores rather than shopping malls.



hartzofspace
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02 Oct 2011, 6:36 pm

I have had this happen to me. After several times, I once replied to this really rude guy, "Go ahead. Please. And I bet you will be the first one at your funeral, too." :)


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SuperTrouper
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02 Oct 2011, 7:15 pm

I really was taking up the entire space where you're meant to stand to use the register.

Canadianrose, that's what I would think too, that list that you wrote. Or something like that.



twich
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02 Oct 2011, 7:22 pm

Well, they still didn't have to react like that.. Canadianrose has the right thoughts.

At the risk of sounding stupid because it's probably right in my face on the forum.. What's an autism card and where does one find them...?



SuperTrouper
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02 Oct 2011, 7:26 pm

I made my own on business card paper from the store. They say I have autism and what it is and how it affects me... in as few words as possible.

"I have autism. Autism is a disorder that affects my abilities to communicate and socialize, and causes me to have restricted interests. It does not affect my intelligence! Speaking can be very stressful for me at times, and you may notice that I respond inappropriately when you speak to me. Please be patient with me."



twich
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02 Oct 2011, 7:31 pm

Thanks, I think that's a great idea :)



lostonearth35
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02 Oct 2011, 7:57 pm

Typically ignorant people being rude when they think you're the one being rude, and if you tried to explain to them they wouldn't care. So seriously why even try? :roll:



Dots
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02 Oct 2011, 8:12 pm

I used to space out a lot as a child/teen. Imagine a 12 year old standing ankle deep in a huge puddle staring at nothing, and guess how the other kids treated that kid. I was a girl back then, too, so it was even more socially inappropriate.

Everywhere I go I have my headphones on so that I can concentrate on the music rather than the people around me, and it keeps me from shutting down. I've just recently started to take them off when I'm walking down hallways at school because a friend suggested that it's rude to always have headphones on, but if I'm out in public, buses and crowds especially, I will usually have headphones on.


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aspie48
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02 Oct 2011, 8:31 pm

Dots wrote:
I used to space out a lot as a child/teen. Imagine a 12 year old standing ankle deep in a huge puddle staring at nothing, and guess how the other kids treated that kid. I was a girl back then, too, so it was even more socially inappropriate.

Everywhere I go I have my headphones on so that I can concentrate on the music rather than the people around me, and it keeps me from shutting down. I've just recently started to take them off when I'm walking down hallways at school because a friend suggested that it's rude to always have headphones on, but if I'm out in public, buses and crowds especially, I will usually have headphones on.

it ain't rude to have phones on in the hall. its just rude in class or when you are talking to people.



Ellytoad
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02 Oct 2011, 9:29 pm

I suspect that spacing out was a big cause of why my parents thought I had hearing loss. They kept calling my name, and I didn't look up, and so on. I was 4. Now, after years of general fussing over my ears and having hearing aids up to the age of 13, I finally am hard of hearing. Sigh.
And yeah, I do still space out just like that these days.



1000Knives
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02 Oct 2011, 9:37 pm

I'd not waste the cards and just say "Oh, I'm sorry about that, oops" and just call it a day.



zen_mistress
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03 Oct 2011, 12:30 am

I find the mall stressful in large doses. I like to go there but I cant do it for more than 2 hours otherwise I start to get really irritable. I have learnt not to go shopping with my mother because she tends to shop for 4+ hours and I end up in such a bad mood afterwards, it is like I am trapped at the mall and cant get home.

So, bringing my car is always helpful so I can go home when I have had enough. I do spend an inordinate amount of time reading in bookstores though, and sitting in cafes. It is not usually noise that gets to me as such, it is all the people around me, standing too close to me or just all the movement from the people walking past me.

Sometimes I try and walk on the outside perimeter of the mall so I dont have to walk through the crowded interior, but the last time I tried that I had some randy guy approach me... I think perhaps he thought I was some sort of good time girl as I was walking outside the building. :?


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btbnnyr
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03 Oct 2011, 1:28 am

I hate the mall. My mother tricked me into going to the mall yesterday. She shopped while I searched for the bathroom with no intention of going to the bathroom because public bathrooms are gross. But searching for the bathroom was still so much better than shopping in the store. In the future, whenever I am having an extra stupid day and I get tricked into going to the mall, I will spend the whole time looking for the bathroom. Having something to do, even if it means spacing out while walking up the down escalator, is still better than the nothing that lets in all the nasty lights/sounds/smells of the mall. The smells are horrible. The food, the perfume, the other food, the other perfume. All nasty. The sounds are horrible. All of them. The constant dindumdindumdindum everywhere, the tinkling suck music in the store, the babblablababble of shoppers. Horrible. The lights are horrible. The overhead lights, the display lights, the lights all mixing together in a box of suck light that makes me want to do my hair in pippylongstocking braids just so I can shake my pippylongstocking braids in extra psycho mode as I run screaming off the premises. I hate the mall. A lot. Really a lot.

There is a person who operates a remote control toy helicopter at the mall. I wondered if the helicopter blades have ever bladed out anyone's eyes, since the thing flies at eye level.



zen_mistress
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03 Oct 2011, 2:38 am

^ Lol, I have thought the same thing about those helicopters. And my mum sometimes persuades me to go to the mall with her too. It wouldnt be such a bad thing if we went in separate cars.


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