Sick of being told

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Is anyone else sick of being told how aspergers/autism works and how people with aspergers/autism should behave and do things by nt psychologist's and so called experts? Are there any psychologist's out there who actually have autism/aspergers ?

Probably, but they aren't well known. I feel the same way.

I have this with my agoraphobia which is why I don't want to get an official diagnosis for ASD. Many people study psychology because of their own personal interests; I have a friend who has a mental disorder who is studying to become a clinical psychologist - not asperger's though, sorry.

But that is the main reason I chose to come to Wrong Planet and read how other people who are similar to me live their lives; there is far more practical information and support here than I could get from any NT psychologist.

well I find that when you try to explain it to an NT they dismiss it and say "well I do that too sometimes" and try to make it trivial and the operative wor is "sometime" with me its all the time.

No, because I don't see health professionals about AS. I suppose it's one advantage of the UK's poor service for Aspies. But I know what some of those docs are like.

I'm sure that it would make me angry if some inept shrink started lecturing me and taking a dominant role. But I'd mostly be angry at myself if I wasn't arguing back effectively and making it impossible for him to do that to me. Assuming the guy has no real power over me, there seems no obvious reason why I couldn't hold my ground and insist on being treated as an equal, but like many Aspies, I have a lot of trouble making my grievances known to the source of the trouble, and he'd probably never know what he'd done wrong. I have to rehearse and work myself up to being assertive, and can't seem to do it if the challenge to my status comes as a surprise. One I know what the problem is, I can be very articulate, firm and diplomatic, but not as an impromptu performance, unless it's my lucky day.

If you can find professional help that works via email, that might turn out to be a lot better. Certainly I find it a lot easier to argue well from the safety of my own private space and with plenty of time to think about my response. There was an Aspie psychologist mentioned in "Loving Mr. Spock," and he worked via email. Maybe there are enough contact details in the book for youy to find him?

I know someone that has social phobia or something. This other person who is nt claimed they have that some too and went on to talk about how they had a job that involved lots of contact with customers and convincing people to sign up for credit cards that they didn't want. Just because it was good and helpful for her doesn't mean it would be good for me or that other person. If we did that job we would be so stressed out we'd quickly quit or get fired if we could even manage to do it.

There was also an unwritten rule that no one spoke about and you had to figure out yourself where if you didn't get enough people to apply for credit cards they cut your hours to almost nothing and never told you why. I'd never be able to figure that out on my own.

Sometimes I wonder if my psychologist is an aspie, and I love it. Either way she has never once dismissed anything I've said about any of my illnesses (which is weird, because most doctors do when you talk about things like fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, which she's instead getting me a referral for the second one when everyone else brushed it off and chalked it up to the FM, but they CAN and very commonly ARE co- morbid conditons.)

I think sometimes psychologists and psychiatrists forget that just because they know about something, doesn't mean they know what it feels like, or if they do, it doesn't mean they feel it to the same extreme as us. Same to that credit card selling NT, she could very well have social anxiety, just on a lesser level. Still not ok to assume what works for them works for you, or they know how you should and shouldn't behave with something they never experienced.

There is more ignorance than understanding, unfortunately. However, people who understand do exist.

My counselor doesn't have an ASD, but she does have ADHD and she actually uses that to help herself understand her patients better.