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Magnus_Rex
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13 Oct 2011, 10:11 pm

Something I've known for some time, but only really thought about today: I sometimes go out of my way to make people dislike me.

Today, during class, I behaved myself as a very rude "insufferable genius" kind of guy. Whenever somebody asked me for help with the lessons, I would "help" them in a way that would make them feel dumb and embarassed (for example, pointing out how obvious was the answer and how stupid were the questions). Furthermore, I spent most of the class making jokes at their expense and being a troll. For some reason, it felt really satisfying at the time.

Of course, I eventually came to my senses (as soon as class finished) and the satisfaction has worn off. I'm feeling like s**t now. But I have been thinking about it and I think there are two probable reasons behind it, judging by previous instances of trolliness from me:

1- Despite my above-average performance, I actually don't like studying. If not for my interest on accountancy, I would have quitted school at least 2 months ago. I remember being a troll way back on fifth grade and, more recently, on my last job. Both of them were activities I didn't like. Maybe I'm unconsciously trying to convince others to dislike things I dislike? :? That makes no sense, but seems to be the case.

2- I'm becoming somewhat friendly with my colleagues. Whenever that happens (again, last job and school, plus I'm beginning to show faint signs of it at my current job, which is a job I really like), I become increasingly more rude towards them. It has happened for as long as I can remember and I strongly suspect it's the reason my best friend suddenly stopped talking to me back in sixth grade.

Honestly, I'm more inclined to believe the latter, which leads to the question: why would a person try to avoid developing friendly relations with peers by being hostile towards them?



swbluto
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13 Oct 2011, 10:53 pm

Magnus_Rex wrote:
Honestly, I'm more inclined to believe the latter, which leads to the question: why would a person try to avoid developing friendly relations with peers by being hostile towards them?


Avoidant personality disorder? You're preventing a painful possible rejection by rejecting them first?

Possibly, it could be the porcupine theory at play:

Quote:
"On a cold winter's day, a group of porcupines huddled together to stay warm and keep from freezing. But soon they felt one another's quills and moved apart. When the need for warmth brought them closer together again, their quills again forced them apart. They were driven back and forth at the mercy of their discomforts until they found the distance from one another that provided both a maximum of warmth and a minimum of pain. In human beings, the emptiness and monotony of the isolated self produces a need for society. This brings people together, but their many offensive qualities and intolerable faults drive them apart again. The optimum distance that they finally find that permits them to coexist is embodied in politeness and good manners. Because of this distance between us, we can only partially satisfy our need for warmth, but at the same time, we are spared the stab of one another's quills."


Another possibility is you have the "intermittent as*hole syndrome". From UrbanDictionary...

Quote:
More commonly known as I.A.S., those who are afflicted with Intermittent as*hole Syndrome are known mainly by their lack of a filter between the things they think, and what actually comes out of their mouths. I.A.S. is in the "Foot in Mouth Spectrum" of disorders and is highly contagious.

Once encountered, I.A.S. can take weeks or months to become evident or it may have acute onset, taking only moments. Sufferers are cynical, critical and vindictive on an intermittent basis. The sydrome is fairly common among management personnel and security and law enforcement officers. Intermittent as*holes are generally very likeable, fun-loving and sweet people. Alcohol typically intensifies symptoms. Some people with I.A.S. believe themselves to be very funny, and infact some truly are. Contact with customers or the public in general tends to exacerbate symptoms and increase the frequency and intensity of outbreaks.

True sociopathic behavior is not associated with I.A.S..

Treatment is still in development.
Sorry I cracked a joke when you told me something personal and expected me to take you seriously. My Intermittent as*hole Syndrome has been acting up



MountainLaurel
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13 Oct 2011, 11:05 pm

My gut reaction to this question:

Quote:
why would a person try to avoid developing friendly relations with peers by being hostile towards them?


You are recreating a fimiliar social climate for yourself. You know what life is like when people reject you and because it's familiar there's some comfort in the predictability of that status quo. It also creates a dynamic wherein you don't have to take responsibility for your interactions with folks because no one likes you, everybody hates you and you don't have any friends. (The italicized words are my daughters' childhood taunt of eachother; of which my novelist exhusband noted; it's remarkably redundant.)

Now that you're onto yourself in this gambit, you're kind of busting yourself on it here. It's a start to taking personal responsibility and launching into the great blue beyond of adult life.