Are Aspies emotionally sensitive?

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During my recent ordeal with not being able to work with the cats at the shelter anymore, I've been starting to wonder about whether my AS has anything to do with the way I just plain *care* about things.

I haven't adopted the usual attitude about problems in the world, which is mostly, "Well, it's not happening to me or my family; so I'll ignore it. It's someone else's problem." My attitude is more like, "Something should be done," and then if there's something obvious I can do, I'll do it; if there isn't, I'll pray about it and tell other people about it, kind of raising awareness.

I've always been somewhat of a crusader... I'm a sucker for causes, generally. Whether it's a friend with a messy dorm room whose mom is visiting in three hours, or a lot of people homeless after a hurricane, or the religious persecution of millions in Muslim countries... I'm just generally more aware of it,and more willing to help, than the people I see around me.

Some of the stuff I've done:
I was an anti-abortion activist, writing letters to senators and posting signs in my window, from ages 11-14 (I only went to one protest, because of the crowds; that was on the Capitol lawn when some new laws were being made)
I went to New Orleans to help with the Katrina cleanup
I've volunteered at a crisis pregnancy center, sorting baby clothes and doing paperwork
I've gone to a shelter to play with the cats (therapy for me, fun for the cats... good deal generally)
I'm passionately against fundamentalist Christian cults like Pensacola Christian College, where I used to go... last winter I was quoted in a newspaper expose in the Chronicle of Higher Education
I help my friends a lot; I have a talent for cleaning and organization, and a lot of them don't; so they often get cleaned rooms or cars from me
I volunteer at the church library

This isn't necessarily bragging; because I don't think there's anything very good about me that makes me notice and care about the misfortunes of living creatures... even little things, very little, like the spiders that my housemates would've crushed if I hadn't put them outside. I just notice them, like I notice smells and sounds much more than my NT friends (except for one, who has sensory processing issues... poor girl is even more bothered by intense senses than I am). All in all, I help others because it makes me happy to do so... rather a selfish reason. I'm not really guilty about that, though, because for whatever reason I do things, it's still helpful; and that's a good thing.

From a Christian perspective, this is called a "spiritual gift"--the gift of service, in my case. A spiritual gift is something you're good at, and like to do, that helps people and generally ties a church together; and it's something that's part of your nature, given by God so that you can make good use of your time.

So... why do I think this personality trait could be associated with AS?

Well, Aspies notice things more, in general.
And we don't pick up the attitudes of the general culture around us very much, so we don't pick up apathy either.
We often have trouble with intense emotion, especially connected to meltdowns.
And we perceive other's emotion less easily than most, so perhaps we have less experience screening out how it affects us.

Are you sensitive, emotionally?

I agree with what you're saying - I have those character traits although naturally our specific 'campaigns' have been different.

I don't know whether that's an Aspie thing or just an individual behavioural trait.

If it IS an Aspie thing then is it linked to information overload and psychological 'burn out'? Knowing too much, caring too much, and being unable to ignore injustice and contradiction?

Usually when someone talks about their charitable acts, I get the impression they're self righteous and that their charity is emotionally self serving. I don't get that impression with you.

I'm not as careing as you are. I'm extremely loyal to my close friends, and would do just about anything for them, but at the same time, I've completely given up on serving the greater good. Some earthquake kills thousands? It's terrible, but I'd be more concerned if I failed an exam.

I really don't seem to care about others very much on a emotional level, yet I'm very friendly and I like to help and give advice, and I have friends that I really appreciate, but, I don't seem to FEEL anything for other people in any sort of truely caring way. If something doesn't directly affect me, I try not to think about it. I hope that doesn't make me a bad person, but, I do try and help sometimes, I give to some charities at Christmas time and sometimes when I'm shopping and there is something that helps disabled or hungry kids right in front of me, I put some money in it. But I don't really let those sort of big deal disaster things get to me. I have my own life and my own problems to deal with to really worry about others'. But I help when I can, without actually FEELING anything about it, but I want to do the right thing.

Interestingly enough, it makes me alot more upset to know that animals are suffering than people. I don't know why that is, I just seem to connect to animals better, and especially when you see cute ones suffering, that seems to be harder on me than some random person. I'm not exactly sure why that is....

I did feel a bit sad when Steve Irwin died recently. I don't usually care when a celebrity dies, but that guy was just darn lovable and his passion was sometimes so over the top and dangerous, but enthusiastic at the same time, so it was quite funny. And he loves animals so I can relate. But, now I'm not really SAD about it anymore. I mean I didn't personally know the guy, so no crying is involved for me. But it kinda bums me out that I never got to meet him. I wanted to someday.

I'm not sure where I stand as far as human empathy goes. It's really quite confusing for me. And then i feel guilty, like if I'm some monster for not feeling properly. But another interesting thing for me is the guy I'm very in love with. But, he's a fictional character, but I deeply care for him. When I imagine us together in my mind, I'm so very compassionate and touching and I don't seem to be that shy around him. Essentially, I often wonder if the way I see MYSELF in these daydreams are just as much a fantasy as the guy himself. I know not if I have what it takes to be so loving to some other guy in reality, because I've never had a real relationship to know how I would be in one. I seem to be very shy and paranoid and worried about what others think, so I don't know how open and loving I could be to a real guy. But this fantasy gives me an idea atleast of not only who I wish I could have but who I wish I could BE too.

He seems to be the only person I have real feelings for too. Although, I may be pretty depressed when my best friend dies, but then, I don't think I can get much more depressed than I already am these days.

Woah. It's just such a confusing topic.

I'm more interested in concepts and principles - "the bigger picture" - rather than the emotions of individuals.

I care more about animals than people, too.

I'm very sensitive emotionally. I kinda feel other people, and become very affected by the mood they are in. If they are happy I get happy, if they are sad I become sad.

I don't like to be around depressed people, I once talked to a nieghbour over the phone, she was so depressed and just talking to her over the phone made me depressed too.

I'm not like you Callista, helping out, I would like to but don't know where to go, what to do, to say, who to ask. I went to Greenpeace once said I would like to help out, she just looked funny at me, then said I could pay some money and become a member. I admire you for having that abillity to help others. And the knowledge to know how to get there. I'd like to help but don't know what area.

Keep up the good work, Callista.

http://www.1-800-volunteer.org/1800Vol/ ... xAction.do

I think I'm emotionally sensitive,but because it can be overwhelming
when I can't help everyone that's in need, then sometimes it's easier
to switch off and become immune in some ways. I'd like to think I'd
always be there for family or friends who really needed support.
I make a point of giving to charity but wouldn't have the commitment
to travel to Africa or somewhere to help out.I admire everyone who
makes a practical contribution such as doing voluntary work in their
community.Well done Callista,you are a good example.

i don't let other peoples emotions affect me at all. nor do i feel what there feeling about anything. if i feel anything it comes from inside me and it's very genuine i'd say

I didnt answer because I cant decide...I know when I am working with my clients I try and make them happy.I can feel their discomfort and try and avoid doing anything that increases it.I get really angry when I read about mans inhumanity to humans or animals.I send "things" to my poorer family members but I dont call them very often....I will give money to charities and people on the street(I was homeless so please dont preach about this...I dont care if they use it to buy drugs/beer.)When people on here are going through a rough time...I "feel" for them and would like to help.

but.....

My own social phobia keeps me from being involved with "charities...though I think about it...When I hear about a natural disaster,I dont send money(I think I would if I had more?)I am to selfish with my time to donate much of it.(even to some "friends")but I will listen if they need to vent(just prefer not)
There are a lot of "causes" I would like to be more involved with,believe they are good,but always seem to put it off or "reason my self out of it...ie...what would it really change...humans suck.

but...I do little things.....

Today I found someones credit card and turned it in to authorities...I will help someone carry some thing if they look like they need help....I will stop to through garbage away thats on the sidewalk or a bottle laying in the street so someone doesnt end up with a flat...


so...?

Im kinda the same way.. I like helping people but I dont like helping those who dont desperately need help.

Theres a difference between doing your best and coming up short and needing a hand to take up the slack and wanting others to do it for you because its hard.

Too much of the "help" people ask me for is of the latter type and I despise it.

I really beleive that people need to solve their own problems on their own.. depending too much on others leaves you ill prepared for the situations where help is not available.

I definately feel empathy for people who are suffering. However, I'm extremely guarded about people coming to me wanting some help of some sort, though certainly not as much so when they're close to me like a good friend or family member. I'm much more likely to take the initiative to help someone who seems to need it and isn't expecting it. If it's expected, like someone begging me for money, I actually get kind of angry and cold and I feel not one lick of guilt if I choose not to help them.

I feel like charity has to come from within to be truly meaningful. It shouldn't be induced by a sense of responsibility or guilt pressure.

I think if an AS person wants to help someone its going to be more genuine than a neuro typical (in some respects, I'm not saying all NT's are fake!), its easy to pick out the do-gooders in society who help the needy to climb socially and gain respect. I do feel like I soak up other peoples moods although I can't always understand their verbal remarks and facial expressions, I'm a slow processor. If a friend has an emergency or problem I am good at finding a logical solution and can persevere to get the job done, sadly can't do this for myself I just procrastinate! I do care for people but don't always feel a connection I mainly empathise with the underdog: abandoned animals, homeless children, refugees etc And I loathe injustice! I can definately identify with some of Callista's remarks in the original posting.

I don't know if I'm naturally insensitive or just jaded, but I can't remember any time I felt sympathy, pity, or happiness for someone else. 9/11, the London tube bombings, the Madrid bombings etc none of it phased me at all. When I was in fifth grade a boy in my class was run over and killed. I got pissed at the teacher because we were talking about the dead boy instead of the books we were reading. My parents were pretty mad at me.

Is lack of empathy a common AS trait?

Lack of empathy is supposed to be a common AS trait.

I don't know how common it really is, I think it is more common for men than for women.

If lack of empathy is an AS trait...why are there so many people here trying to help each other?And so many NT's I work with daily who seem to have no feeling for the DD clients we assist?...I dont get this?