Standard traits of newly diagnosed adults

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what would you say are a list of the standard traits of newly diagnosed adults on the spectrum?
i'm specifically interested in aspies who didn't know they are aspies and haven't received much help.

i think some of the traits are:
- going into "little professor" mode and rambling for a long time
- not turn taking properly during conversations
- interrupting
- defensiveness
- being very blunt and direct

what else would you say?

Defensiveness, and more defensiveness

Getting in trouble for all sorts of random things, many of which seem obvious in retrospect, for years and years and years with no apparent rhyme or reason, will do that to a person.

this is very helpful. as more people post it will probably come up -- we're not looking for "standard" traits like from the DSM. instead observational things you see by being around aspies.

- Inexplicable social exhaustion
- Superficiality [or affectation] of interactions (or alternatively, a complete withdrawal of interaction)
- Regular 'personality clashes' which are based on misunderstandings over intent (which can be caused by blunt/directness and eventually manifests itself as defensiveness) [NB. 'Misunderstandings' are a major part of being an undiagnosed adult, I guess this is more of a expression of a trait rather than a trait]
- Vast unknown gaps in social interaction that are patently obvious to NTs but we're oblivious of (can manifest as rambling monologues, inappropriate timing as you state, but also can be overcompensated for by being oversensitive to social interactions creating a whole bunch of different characteristics like social phobia etc - this is very dependant on the type of life you've lead and the conditioning from it, some people are fortunate to have been surrounded by understanding and forgiving types, some are not - i.e. we aren't all grumps or all gorgeous, it is highly dependant on our role models and the environments we have developed and lived in)
- Reduced tolerance for personal eccentricities and rampant control freakery (in trying to avoid issues arising, we could potentially become rather uptight - an inability to fit into the crowd affects people differently, dependant on culture, e.g. I often see the American users more likely to be more strident about this than a UK person like myself)

Unfortunately, specific traits are very hard to define because living with an unknown 'illness' ultimately creates a level of conditioning, the depth of which can be incredibly subjective. Some people fit the mould, others are massively distorted. Hence difficulties in getting diagnosed as an adult precisely.

Some of the traits are not clear because they are actual gaps in our understanding, even though we may have created a poorly derived fix for them, we potentially don't see them for what they are. When I was diagnosed (as an adult) I offered my wife a divorce because she hadn't married an autistic man and I felt this was unfair. This, apparently, was a very autistic thing to say

I agree with what 4Five9 said.
I would add that gender plays a significant role in how undiagnosed people with Asperger's are perceived by society, and also in how they attempt to compensate for their social difficulties. I hope your research will address these gender-specific manifestations.

See the thread "List of Female AS Traits" in the Women's Discussion forum.

At least in females, extreme people pleasing.

I'd vote for anxiety as being common for a lot of dx adults - due to all the attendent problems it's a common symptom.

Difficulty in making choices.
Easily distracted in social situations, I.e.by sounds, sights, objects, etc.
Indifference to others.
Unable to stop/change from one activity to a new one.
May exhibit OCD tendencies, like an over orderly desk/house.
Into collecting "things."

I think your list might be fairly close for adults who not only didn't know, but never felt any desire or motivation to work on changing any of their traits.

That doesn't describe me though, so many of the traits you listed don't fit me, or at least stopped fitting so much quite a lot of years ago.

I started working on myself at about age thirty, twenty years ago, even though I had no idea I had AS. That effort caused some other "symptoms" to appear over time.

Extreme exhaustion from acting every day all day. IBS from the resulting anxiety. Insomnia from both of the previous. Mental shutdowns from lack of sleep.

Stress, depression, anxiety. People can end up going through mental health services before realising they might have AS and that's why they feel different.

I don't know if it's "standard", but I would add burnout/extreme stress and depression due to not knowing what's wrong and being misdiagnosed and misunderstood by many health professionals in a row.

(I have fibromyalgia, a painful musculo-skeletal issue. I think it must have been caused by stress and exhaustion.)

Also, social problems not getting any better despite being treated for social anxiety, and increasing withdrawal.