Explaing AS to those who don't know it

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aarghapanda
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24 Sep 2006, 1:24 pm

OK, so let's assume someone with no knowledge of autism or AS asks me what AS is. What in the name of Sean Connery do I say? 8O



F5c_wZ3_414e_X5
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24 Sep 2006, 1:25 pm

Personality type.



aarghapanda
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24 Sep 2006, 1:26 pm

F5c_wZ3_414e_X5 wrote:
Personality type.


That doesn't really help people understand it though.



waterdogs
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24 Sep 2006, 2:35 pm

i don't tell anyone i have AS. i let them figure that one out on there own



Rosacoke
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24 Sep 2006, 4:07 pm

Speaking as an NT (no throwing of tomatoes, please), I would say it's up to you whether or not you say you have AS in the first place. What would be helpful to me, though, would be to know what things about you I might misunderstand. Like if you don't like small talk, or crowds, or if bright lights bother you, or whatever. If you've already told someone you have AS, and they ask about it, I'd just say "it's a neurological condition that makes it hard for me to . . . (insert whatever you're willing to admit to)."

The other thing to bear in mind is that everyone has weaknesses, and if you can admit yours with a sense of humor, people will like that and will be sympathetic. A little bit of self-deprecation is endearing. (A lot is annoying.)



pi_woman
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24 Sep 2006, 4:28 pm

Rosacoke wrote:
What would be helpful to me, though, would be to know what things about you I might misunderstand. Like if you don't like small talk, or crowds, or if bright lights bother you, or whatever. If you've already told someone you have AS, and they ask about it, I'd just say "it's a neurological condition that makes it hard for me to . . . (insert whatever you're willing to admit to)."


Good advice. If you don't feel comfortable going into details about what AS "makes it hard for [you] to...", you can always just give a general answer about how AS brains interpret the world differently than NTs.

There's a book on the subject of deciding whether to tell people:
"Coming Out Asperger: Diagnosis, Disclosure And Self-confidence" by Dinah Murray.
I bought it but haven't read it yet, so can't advise you on how helpful it might be.



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24 Sep 2006, 4:56 pm

I have never told anyone that I have had any sort of condition, unless there was a need to. The only case I would say that there are truly needs to do so are those having to do with schooling, employment and the law. Also, if you are entering a relationship with somebody, I would tell that person. That is where I think it would really be noticeable.

The only case I would say that employment would qualify is if the condition is severe enough as to warrant the employer needs to know. For example, if something happens on the job that could land you in some trouble, then maybe it would be necessary. There seems to be some thought in some employment circles, though, that aspergers is accepted by some companies. In fact, there are probably a few firms around that having aspergers may actually better your chances. I have been told Microsoft tends to be one of them, and I suspect most of those are probably in the technical fields. Finding out which ones do, though, can be complicated, and I would fear that telling someone at the interview process could lessen your chances. It is illegal for employers to fire or even opt to not hire someone on the basis of a disability, but they can always find some other reason to do so.

If I were to say something, I would just say that it is a condition characterized by a lack of reading social cues and a strong desire to engage in narrow interests.

- Ray M -



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24 Sep 2006, 5:57 pm

pi_woman wrote:
There's a book on the subject of deciding whether to tell people:
"Coming Out Asperger: Diagnosis, Disclosure And Self-confidence" by Dinah Murray.
I bought it but haven't read it yet, so can't advise you on how helpful it might be.


I've considered buying this or a similar book, but haven't chosen one yet. Could you PM me or something when you're done, to tell me if it helped?



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24 Sep 2006, 11:59 pm

I've got absolutely no problem admitting to my friends at school that I have AS. A thing that makes them laugh is this: "It's why when Jeremy told me that Hitler used giant Bey-blades in WWII, I beleived him!" We all have a good chuckle about this.


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aarghapanda
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25 Sep 2006, 3:20 am

Thanks guys, I have so much trouble when peole say to me 'What's AS?'...I have no problem admitting it to people, if they're gonna judge me on that I don't want to be near them anyway, it's just putting it in a way that NT people can understand is very difficult.

It's a bit like trying to tell a dog why a cat meows.



Pippa_Hembry
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25 Sep 2006, 5:05 am

Hi,

I am another NT and I have explained to other NT's the parts about AS being a neurological difference that menas the world is percieved in a differnt way to NT's and what that means for relationships and interests. I have also however, suggested they view AS as another culture and take the same time and effort to get to appreiciate the AS culture as they would any other. This seems to make sense to NT's I have spoken with and I wonder if it encourages them to keep asking questions and not make too many assumptions or over pathologise.

Pippa



Miss_Bluesky
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25 Sep 2006, 5:20 am

*waves an NT flag* Yay.
I usually say something like 'It's a sort of developmental disorder that makes it hard to talk to people and understand what they're thinking'. Then as soon as I mention autism someone comes out with the immortal line:
"Ooh, right, like rainman?"
and I give up.


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DirtDawg
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25 Sep 2006, 5:20 am

aarghapanda wrote:
... It's a bit like trying to tell a dog why a cat meows.


I think of trying to explain to a fish what it feels like to smoke and why some people do it, but not others ...

There can be no common point of reference.


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25 Sep 2006, 5:36 am

I find it quite simple. I just start off by going
"Do you know what Asperger's Syndrome is?" Most often my friends don't know, and then I go
"It's a sort of mental thing which makes it hard for people to socialise and pick up social cues and all that." After this they'll either say
"Oh, like Autism?" or
"Okay, I didn't know that." After this, I say
"I've got it. I agree with many other people that it's not actually a syndrome, more of a-um, well, it's not a syndrome, and that's the point of the argument!"
What could help in bringing this forth is giving some examples, such as "Remember the time when I didn't get the joke you made? Now you know why. It also explains why I'm so into [insert current obsession here (in my case it's my story, Outcast)]"

There, I think that's a good way to say it to someone you know!


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Callista
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25 Sep 2006, 6:01 am

I hate the way people think I'm "autistic" when I say AS, and that they don't seem to realize that I'm a.) not bothered by it, b.) have no driving need to be "normal", and c.) can do just about anything they do, if I happen to want to do it.


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25 Sep 2006, 6:04 am

Maybe one way of explaining it is that of not being 'pre-programmed'
for every aspect of life.Whereas an NT mind can run on 'automatic pilot' someone with AS has to have their mind under manual control all the time in order to be as effective.
If that doesn't work I'll tell people my mind is a cross between Mr
Spock and Mr Bean ! I haven't got to the stage of telling anyone
outwith family so far.It probably calls for a different approach
depending on who you are telling and why.