Paranoia

Post Reply New Topic

Ok, I think my friends are messing me around, I trust them but I feel that there is something no right, I mean what if they don't want to meet me? Is this a common problem? If so it is really starting to put me on edge! Really bad, I mean, I trust people but I get these thoughts that really hold me back.

What age group are you and your friends in?

Have things come up in their lives that result in them having less time to spend on relationships?

What behaviours make you think your friends are messing with you?

I know this isn't about your message but its really about your subject. I've gotten really paranoid at say letters from my girlfriend because before that I send her a letter once that was really long and emotional but it wasn't a break up letter because I'll never break up with her but it was what happened to me the day that I wrote the letter. I asked her many times what she's going to write me back on. I was a really serious worry wort.

I have real trouble trusting at times... I frequently find myself nit trusting others and sometimes, not trusting myself. As for feeling that your friends might not want to meet with you, the same has happen to me before and still does, from time to time. I ussualy stop contacting them. Then they either contact me or they don't.

Well,lets us know when you can tell us what happened...hard to give advice if we dont know the details.
I have also had problems trusting that people like me....I think it goes along with not understanding the subtleties of non-verbal communication and learning that other people are really good at lying...it seems normal that this would cause us to feel "off balance" in trying to figure out if people really want to be around us.

i have problems with this because while I (think I) am ok at reading emotional states of other people for the most part... i have trouble discerning more agressive ques...

like i always have the feeling that they are annoyed or upset with me. i can't tell if it's just me anticipating some sort of social F-up on my part or whatever....

it's so built in, i can't really tell anymore why i feel this way, but it does instill this kind of paranoia that affects how i in turn, react.

i can't really comment on what your friends are doing cause i can't really tell what the situation is... you said it was long so... dunno. but gl with it all.

ok i guess im kind of an expert on this. iv been very suspicious all my life, a year ago they wannet to lable me with paranoid personality but never did though.


have you every heard of...arghh i dont know what its in enlgish...
but some method of writing down what happened, what your thoughts were, how that made you feel (since your thoughts decide how you feel, not what happened), and how you acted...and then question the thoughts you had and replace them with more objective credible usefull thoughts. they taught me this and is usefull in just this kind of situation.

anyhow, have you had certain thoughts often in your life? how often did they turn out to be true?
is there any rational sign of this? (them not wanting to meet you and such). and are you sure you interpreted that right?
and is there any reason to believe otherwise?

and if theres anything really questionable about the way one of them acted towards you, you can just ask. dont get upset though, just say it worried you.

anyway, goodluck. i get this all the time (liturally), i know how you feel

I never worry about things like that.

I just take everything they say at face value.

If they are lieing it will eventually become apparent and anything drastically bad that might come about as a result of their dishonesty is usually easily noticed.

If its mearly them trying to humiliate you for a laugh thats also not a problem.. just dont react like they expect and act like you dont notice its an embarassing situation and they'll end up being the uncomfortable ones.

After that though they arent worth still being friends with so just ignore and forget about em.

its not allways that simple though

Why not? If your going to be paranoid your just making things unnecessarily complicated to start with.

My view on it is "unless someone gives you solid proof they should not be trusted they should be given the benefit of the doubt" to distrust someone without reason is to condone the behavior of others distrusting you for no reason.

Hypermind....It sounds like you are talking about Rational Emotive Therapy?I found this to be more effective for me then "traditional talk therapy" that dwells on "why" you perceive reality a certain way.
It is difficult to dissuade me from my perceptions unless someone has a good grasp of "logical" process.

When I was younger I did have reason to be "paranoid," because for a long time people were out to get me. Walking down the halls, speaking up in class, etc., I was definitely a target.

When you get older you will find that people have become nicer. Don't be fooled though, it's just a facade. Spend a lot of time with the person and you will know what they are truly like. Unfortunately, I have learned this lesson in the past six or seven months, and it means that I am having to find pleasure outside of any friendships. I am trying to start some online friendships. For any real life friendships, I will have to make sure that it is someone I can trust.