AS is only diagnosed if the person causes problems.

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I think there is an attitude in our society that if something has a problem you fix it, this is a fair way to think dealing with computers and cars, but should this logic be applied to people? I have seen in schools and such that they only diagnose people who misbehave, are profoundly ret*d, or have very low grades. most people would say this is ok because these kids need the diagnosis to receive help. this is true. i have noticed many mild mannered and successful autistic people go through life not knowing they have it. because of this all the stats collected about autism are inaccurate. and most of the perceptions are inaccurate too. more kids who have violent tendencies grow up to be criminals, and more kids who are ret*d or get low grades struggle in life, so people get an idea that we are stupid or evil. which is inaccurate because they are only looking at a small fraction of the diagnosed population. they essentially only want to understand the most alarming and worst parts of the issue. they look at the fraction within that fraction to get their data.

In some ways I think this is partially true, but we've got to remember something.

If you aren't a problem for society, society has no reason to label or deal with you. If you know you have a problem, but society can't see it, the only recourse is for YOU, or at least those close to you, to do something about it.

What complicates things further is when a person is having difficulty, but has no idea there is anything amiss that can actually be addressed, and society doesn't see any problems.

It's not really anyone's "fault" when these things happen. The old adages, "The squeaky wheel gets the oil," and, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it," are how society, and even those of us who have problems we are unaware of, operate.

Someone does have to KNOW something is wrong, before anyone can do anything about it.

This is the difference between my daughter and I. She's a lot of work at home and doesn't do very much she's asked to. At school, she doesn't manage to finish anything within a given timescale and is obviously having difficulty with concentration. But, her academic performance tends to be average, so she's compensating somewhat with her high intelligence (she's twice exceptional). If her differences weren't so obvious, she would just be seen as an average student. She has raised enough concern to be placed on the waiting list for autism assessment.

I never caused any bother at all, neither at home nor at school. I just did everything I was told. No-one had any reason to suspect I had concentration problems, as I somehow managed to conceal it and, on the whole, was able to compensate for it in other ways. I was a very high achiever, until I hit the wall at high school. Although I managed to do very well, in comparison with the other kids in my year, I still feel I've under-achieved, both academically and in my working life. The fact that I was bullied for being different never caused any concern for anyone and no-one realised my shyness was a major problem (my parents didn't know and the teachers didn't care). Recognition of my problems has had to come from me alone. I got to 37 before being able to understand myself.

I worry that my daughter maybe isn't as high functioning as me, but I also think she's going to end up doing better than me, nonetheless. She's been recognised at a young age, so perhaps her difficult behaviour is a blessing in disguise. I'm determined to ensure that she's helped with things she struggles with and that her talents are nourished.

As a child, I was exceptionally well-behaved. In fact, I may have been a little TOO well-behaved.

Other parents used to tell my mom how jealous they were because she had SUCH a "good kid." A few time,s they even arranged play dates between me and their bratty children in the hopes that my "good sense" would rub off on their brats. I also never had self-care problems. If anything, my ability to take care of myself was much more advanced than my peers. For example, my mother brags about how easy I was to potty-train. She says she just took my diapers off, explained the concept of going in the potty; I nodded, and, from that point on, I never so much as had a wetting accident.

It's one of the primary reasons I was never DXed as a kid.

I wasn't noticed because of causing problems, but because of my parent's being worried about how much I was being bullied. I was brought to a psychologist because of that and she ended up saying that she thought I had Asperger's and that she'd not be able to help me any more because she knows she doesn't know how to help people with ASDs.

I was also in this "too good to be true" category as a kid. I followed rules strictly, such that once a rule was in place, there was zero chance that I would break it. I never asked for stuff at the store as per the lack of pointing at things criterion, and my parents thought that all the other children asking for candy and toys were spoiled brats. I did have horrible motor coordination, which held me back on the self-help skills, but that was just me being clumsy.

I was most definitely not "too good to true", I was a little rebellious punk who refused to anything that I felt was bellow me or that I felt was unnecessary and not fun. That's probably why I was sent to be tested, with funding from the the school. I've become a lot more tame since then. So yeah, its probably only the people who are causing problems who are going to get diagnosed without them seeking out a diagnosis.

The kids who don't stand out and can cope with the academics tend not to be noticed as much. This is unfortunate, but 30 kids to one adult isn't exactly a ratio that helps the teacher too know their students all that well.

I made it through school without being picked up by staff, although I do distinctively remember going to the special ed room once and having to play with paper and scissors for some unknown reason. The fact my meltdowns were all internal shut-down withdrawal type scenarios didn't help.

So of you people that didn't have many outwardly showing symptoms as a child, how hard was it to finally get a diagnosis? Were there a lot of misdiagnoses along the way?