Tendency to avoid risk or chance-taking & ASD - my thoug

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As a high-functioning (Aspie) adult on the spectrum, I came across a commment on an autism society website from another successful high-functioning man, which really reasonated with me:

"It's tough taking chances in life, because you never know how you might be perceived or how people might react."

And I thought, WOW...that's defined my life...I took several risks some of which turned out very well, some badly, and the common denominator for most of those risks was the people perception impact. I didn't do anything that would have led to legal consequences though just rubbing people the wrong way which could have (and likely did) result in missed opportunities. Dating was a common example, but I am happily married now.

Indeed, I was criticised by peers more than once who said "You don't take any risks in life." I don't agree that the propensity to avoid taking chances is an inherent Aspie trait; it's more of a survival mechanism, or a secondary response, to the core symptom that they simply can't perceive the way people MIGHT react or perceive a given action, which is something NTs can do instinctively.

In the corporate world i.e. the workplace, I found myself frequently using a couple of peers as a "Rosetta Stone" for whether I should send out such-and-such email, or get involved in such-and-such task to help...and the response was frequently something like "No, you shouldn't do that, because think of what Tom, Dick and Sally will feel about it because they haven't done X task yet and it's like you're calling them lazy, or they're concerned about their work being taken away from them due to the recent CEO announcement etc. etc..." - none of these seemed like logical responses, it was based on paranoia as far as I was concerned. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, I genuinely didn't know, but the tone they gave me suggested that it was obvious (at least I could read into their tone!)

So, I avoided risk-taking altogether in my post, because elements of the big picture were not instinctively cohesive to me. Again, THAT'S a primary Aspie symptom, not the tendency to avoid taking chances (and the corollary, tendency towards routine). Unfortunately, this using of my colleagues as a "Rosetta Stone" in this fashion led to my being ostracized from the grapevine, which exacerbated my challenges of seeing the greater picture and tailoring my response. It was hypocritical on their part to do that, because they clearly didn't see how I would react to it and that it would affect my morale!! Maybe it was "revenge" or trying to teach me a lesson for my own transgressions, however unintentional.

What about you all - do you agree that avoiding risk-taking is a secondary symptom of Aspergers not a primary one? And what stories might you have to share on the matter?

I do think that people can misread how I'll react to stuff, probably because I react differently than most people. Trying to go by how I would react to something I want to say doesn't always work, because other people react differently. Compounding this difficulty is the fact that not all people (or even all NT's) react the same way. Yes, this can lead to "lowest common denominator" speaking and not taking risks.

I recently didn't take a risk on the urging of an NT peer to tell someone who is also on the spectrum how I felt about them and it was disastrous when I found out the reason they didn't really like me in that way was a total lie and was told it was my looks and personality.

I dislike risk taking. How it relates to disliking change I don't know. It's certain that people with low ToM will have difficulties with estimating other people's responses and reactions, and it contributes to preferring stability over change. A new workplace with many new co-workers can be confusing and humiliating, if you fail to remember faces and names. Also, if you have to learn a new working routine, it can be quite difficult and draining.

Yes, precisely! I too react differently than most people to the transgressions and slip-ups of others, mostly in a mild or nonchalant way, and I think that has a lot to do with the "glass houses" mentality: I know that I'm prone to screwing up so I don't judge others too harshly if they misjudge a situation and the outcome is not so favourable to me. As long as they didn't do it intentionally (that's bullying, which makes me very upset.) so, yeah, in summary, I'm much more forgiving of others who commit social transgressions and I'm on the receiving end - I guess my expectations of other people being lenient towards me in return are overestimated...sigh.

Me, I'm quite odd in that arena. Maybe it's more the ISTP personality type. Anyway, I'm quite good at taking risks, and tend to be way riskier in what I do. HOWEVER, almost all the risks I take seem completely logical and rational to me. Like, I occasionally eat jellyfish. Most people think I'm just mad for eating jellyfish, however, I figure Chinese people eat it, it's for sale to eat in a store, etc, so I'm fine with trying it and eating it. So, I seem sorta spontaneous and risky, just because I see things like that and just do them.

BUT, I'm actually not spontaneous at all, I generally have to plan everything I do ahead of time, within a time frame and stuff. Like, my "routine" gets screwed up, and I'm screwed because my "plans" don't work out. But on the same point, I've compensated the routine thing by my ability to try an abnormal amount of stuff, food, activities, try it all once sorta thing, regardless of what people will say or whatever. This makes me really "good" at a lot of stuff for simply having the guts to try it.

Oh, and I'm totally unrisky with girls. It works out oddly, though, as I'm willing to like, strike up conversations if possible with random girls, but the next move is tough after that. Then what? I don't know how to account for after the initial conversation, how to account for the relationship part.

This describes me well. In fact, I'm curious why some people tend to assume the opposite of me. I'm not going to bite their heads off...

I don't take risks because I think through things. Is that a good idea? What will the consequences be? In other ways I'm very impulsive.

Yes I'm fairly risk-averse. I keep catching myself putting too much work into making everything I do failsafe, particularly if there's any risk of social rejection. I have to keep telling myself to take reasonable risks and to consciously judge the potential benefits and risks of the things I feel scared of doing. But I still keep working away at mininising already-acceptable risks.

On the other hand I can blow the whole thing in a second by suddenly doing something really rash and impulsive. Sometimes I think I wouldn't do that if I didn't feel so frustrated and bored by my ultra-careful behaviour the rest of the time.

I was brought up in a very risk-averse family. We would arrive early at bus stops and for appointments, rather than do the unthinkable and risk being late. When a bathroom tap developed a slight leak, Mum was afraid to leave the house because she couldn't be absolutely sure that the waste pipe wouldn't somehow block and cause a flood. My sister and I were locked in the house over the summer holidays so we wouldn't get hurt playing outside while Mum was at work. Practically everything I wanted to do was vetoed because of some obscure perceived risk.

So it's hard to know how much of my risk aversion is nature, and how much is nurture. The only thing that makes me think there is a "brain-wiring" component is that no matter how often I bite the bullet and take the risk I've been scared to face, the next time isn't easier. So either there's more to it than confidence, or my confidence cannot be improved by exercising courage.

I am crap at risk taking , i have not taken any risks for ages and i have only 1 friend. I don't risk finding friends or a girlfriend , i don't risk getting a job and so on , basically i take no risks. The problem with this is that my life is as drap as a packet of ready salted. Also i feel that i am not developing as a person and i am not getting any more confident with lifes situations or myself , if i was to take more risks maybe this would make me more confident. I am though very self concious and tend to demean myself a lot so i therefore worry about being around confident people , enough said.

Even back in 1986 in middle school, 15 years before my AS diagnosis, I can remember getting peer rejection for not being physically daring. I just saw this as a survival mechanism for my deficient motor skills. With my uncanny Aspie memory, the example that stands out for me in '86 was I was with three peers walking down a semi-major road (fairly busy but not intense), we were on our way to visit another kid's house, and then the three guys just spontaneously decided to dash across to the other side of the street before getting to the lights/crossing. At least one of them had a close call. I was about to dash across but then stopped myself and waited patiently - with my potential friends jeering and cheering me on the other side to cross. Since I already knew I was different, the last thing I wanted was to end up in a wheelchair (or worse)! so I still waited it out. In fact, I was tempted to walk over to the lights and cross, but I sensed that doing so would result in my instant rejection - they would likely walk off laughing and mocking me. So I ran across when it was totally safe, with the peers yelling and clapping on the other side - ahh life's full of ego-boosting experiences at 12 years old.

At this point in my life, I also started to be somewhat aware that I ran weird compared to others, so I'm sure that also factored into my decision & desire to try to just walk (quickly) across the road so it wouldn't make me stand out as weird. Plus the fact I might trip and fall!

I was sure glad that I stuck to safety over friendship in that sense...just 2 years later, when I started high school, a kid my age got killed by running across a busy street thinking he could get past the traffic, he didn't, and died of severe trauma from his massive injuries.