squeezing

Post Reply New Topic

My son 13yrs feels the need to squeeze us as he puts it. He wants to squeeze me sometimes its very tight it can hurt or cause bruises, my hands or arms. He says he wants to squeeze my head not just me his sister and his dad.

I think its just tight hugs which I don't mind, but when he does it to my hands, arms or legs it can cause bruising. I explain that it hurts and show him the bruises but he feels he needs this.

Does anyone have other ideas how he can do this without it causing bruising, also he often does this kind of sniffing or smelling me which I find uncomfortable. Maybe someone can shed some light on this. I am not sure is it stimming!
_________________
A mother/person looking for understanding!

Do you have one of those stress balls filled with sand or something he can squeeze? What about a long body pillow he can squeeze? Also if you have pets make sure you are teaching your son how to touch them in ways that will not hurt them. I know one thing I did as a child is that I was not even aware of how hard or how tight I was doing something. I would mean to only touch my sister, but i would push her over. Or I would be holding someone's hand to tight. Or i would push down with a pencil so hard it would break. I over-did all of my movements.

I did karate so I could learn to control my body and learn how hard or fast or tight I was moving. I did swimming because the water provided resistance and it slowed me down a little. I still love to swim and I do not have trouble with over-doing movement anymore.

I cannot tell you about the squeezing, but I also have the need with someone I trust and feel comfortable with to hug him/her very tight and very long. I realized, that people can feel uncomfortable with it, but I don't know how to express otherwise that I like him or her. People told me that it is "inappropriate" but even though I know it, I can't help it or I have to surpress it and then I "mute down" completely.
For the squeezing: Does your son love animals? I do a lot. I could never hurt an animal. If he does you might take it as a link to explain to him, that squeezing would hurt an animal and that that's the way you feel it too.
I don't know if it helps but for me animals are easier to understand and to feel and for me this links does help, because animals are very pure and people are more complex.

We have a puppy which I thought might be a good idea, but my son plays so rough with her she is on the defence as soon as he goes near her. This is not helpful as he feels no likes him I keep explaining that he has to be gentle, but he doesn't get it.

When the puppy sits quiet with me he feels it as a rejection and again everyone hates him.