Back from the mental hospital

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Phonic reporting in.

was like living in a waiting room, got diagnosed with bipolar disorder, developed hypertonia and blunted affect, spent most of my time watching family guy

Currently in desperate need of a shower, a shave, a porno and the company of someone who does not smoke.

regards
phonic

Welcome back, Phonic.

sounds like holy hell

Yeah, agreed. Something along the lines of Hell came to my mind too. Now that we are on the subject of Hell, my phone capitalizes Hell and not god. Interesting.

Anyways, enjoy your freedom!! !! !! !!

Strange... I was wondering how you were just a few hours ago before I read this! I hated it in hospital and spent most of my time watching South Park (that's all I had!). I'm glad you got diagnosed though... well not glad in the sense that I am glad you have bipolar but glad that you know what it is so hopefully you will get treatment now.

I'm glad that you're out of the hospital and back on WP. Welcome back!

Glad your back! Got any F'd up stories of what you saw that you would like to share? I always have been curious of what goes on in those places. I had a friend in high school who went away to some place after she made several suicide attempts and for very weird behavior, She said it was very prison like. What's your take on the whole thing?

Welcome back. Hope it didn't leave too many (or any) scars!

hrm..stories..nothing too f***ed up

* I was constantly watched and followed by a nurse each day, a different nurse each day and night, roughly half of them didn't speak english well enough to converse with.

* There was a piano I played whenever I could, a man who used to work in the Dublin symphony orchestra came to see me when i was confined to bed due to depression and complimented my playing..I really wish I had gotten out of bed and went to have dinner with him.

* I saw a women who cut her stomach in an attempt to kill herself be taken away

* One fellow told me he developed schizophrenia due to brain damage from alcohol.

* another man who appeared to be a recovering drug addict couldn't have look less..reputable, smelly, extremely slured speech, dirty, slouched..and he was the friendliest guy there

* I listened to a lot of "Lost In the Trees" a folk band

* They did not take my shoelaces or belt

* Bipolar Disorder and autism presented together reminds me of schizophrenia.

Can't think of anything else

Nothing has ever made me feel more alone, more helpless, more missunderstood and lost. I've never been trapped for so long with nothing but my thoughts and only my flaws to curl up with. And in sleepless nights I found my thoughts constantly thinking "this is hurting my family more then me". I hoped perhaps I would receive more pity, sympathy and understanding from my siblings and co afterwards, but..it scares people, people are scared and uncomfortable, embaressed to discuss it - they'd rather discuss the weather or physical illness

I'm glad it taught me how normal people really deal with mental illness: they can't handle it. if theres something wrong with your heart you'll have all the family flocking to give you sympathy cards and boxes of chocolates..but when you're mentally ill you have to keep it secret, pretend it didn't happen, because people can't discuss it, it's just to scary..it's must easier to deal with losing your body to an accident, but the prospect of losing your mind is to much for normal people to discuss. If I bring it up they will quickly change the subject to something less offending.
And I remember pretty well what it's like to be physically ill, I was a often covered in bandages as a child and people were genuinely curious as to why, and they really cared, but god forbid I have bandages on my wrists.

It's sad, I remember what it's like to have a support network for physical illness, but when I'm demented or manic or psychotic they seem to think there is some secret way of handling it and they are not qualified..you know the most universal reaction I get to telling people stuff like that? "oh! well that's..yeah *smile*"
bah humbug

Phonic

I'm also glad your are back.

I just wanted to say I'm not surprised. The above three have more diffuse/fuzzy boundaries in reality than diagnostic manuals suggest IMHO.


I guess people who have seen their siblings or other members of their family having mental illness and being in hospital with it would be able to handle it better. At least say something comforting. It's always difficult to answer the obligate question: Why. How come you couldn't do anything to help or prevent it. It's hard to imagine for normal people that having enough will power isn't always enough, there are lots of other factors that also count. Incidentally, my sister is also DXd with bipolar and had been in mental hospital after a manic period just like you.

Yeah, my dad gets a little weird when I tell people I am autistic. He said it was because he does not know how the person I tell will percieve me.