Exhaustion- is this unreasonable?

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This is why my autism diagnosis was a relief. After a year of extreme exhaustion in my second year of seminary, holding more than one role as community activist and even clergy (as the Christian-friendly pantheist that I am), I’m exhausted. For me, this diagnosis is someone finally saying, in print, that I’m not overreacting, I’m not crazy, I’m not lazy. And I’m not the only one who struggles so hard with normal things despite my other strengths.

I want to say that I can’t pass for normal anymore, but I never did, and that’s okay. Instead, I need to say that I can’t try to pass as normal anymore. In my experience, my effort in this only brings varying experiences of frustration and confusion for all. As the same person I’ve always been, I will work the way I’ve always worked and love the way I’ve always loved. But in my continued efforts to adapt for my benefit, as an admitted neurodeviant (as in I deviate from the norm), I will be free from my own futile and ultimately unnecessary attempts at assimilation. Because, I hope this doesn’t sound like the local televised charity drive model-disabled-human, but, I like myself just fine.

Is this unreasonable? Am I being too dramatic?

Apologies to peachybetts if there is someone here using that name. The person who wrote the above post, and this, is vera limn (me). This post somehow came up under a name that isn’t mine. I’ve emailed alex in confusion. This account has my correct gender (female) and occupation (seminarian) listed, but under a name that has nothing to do with me.

I do not think it is unreasonable at all! I would say that learning to accept yourself is of the highest value, personally, I would prioritize that over anything. I'm glad to hear that that your diagnosis helped you so much in discovering yourself, it was similar for me since I had no clue beforehand, it does indeed often open up a whole different way in which to re-examine everything that you thought about yourself before and removes some of those worst doubts. The good news is your not alone, and there should be some people who will also "like yourself just fine" for who you are, it can just sometimes be hard to find them .

[quote="isloth"]I do not think it is unreasonable at all! I would say that learning to accept yourself is of the highest value, personally, I would prioritize that over anything. I'm glad to hear that that your diagnosis helped you so much in discovering yourself, it was similar for me since I had no clue beforehand, it does indeed often open up a whole different way in which to re-examine everything that you thought about yourself before and removes some of those worst doubts. The good news is your not alone, and there should be some people who will also "like yourself just fine" for who you are, it can just sometimes be hard to find them




Thank you for the encouragement. And for the clarification.

What is unreasonable is that you think that your exhaustion will go away by merely giving up trying to fake neurotypical.

I suggest you will handle life better if you don't try to pile on multiple roles, such as activist as well as seminarian. An adage that has worked well for me is "Less is more." Try to have only one role (seminarian, for now) and also have a healthy lifestyle, and that is plenty.

Of course, you won't take my word for it; but I hope you will remember this advice and apply it when you find you are still exhausted. Good luck!

You aren't being overly dramatic. This was a dramatic revelation for you, maybe even an epiphany. As for unreasonable, not to offend you, but you've just parroted parables that say that you should be yourself because you can never please the world.