How do you deal with noise?

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Hi guys,

I am extremely sensitive to noise, particularly 'people noise': loud people, children screaming or just playing, and I often find it makes me very anxious and my mind starts to race. I live in a very child-friendly neighbourhood and the children I encounter all seem to be bratty: my next door neighbour's grandchild has been running back and forth and screaming all day, now my neighbours at the other side have their kids playing and screaming in the back garden (I swear, every time one of them screams, my heart starts to palpitate. I don't recall every screaming when I was a child). I wonder if anyone had any tips for dealing with this, besides asking my neighbours to keep it down, plugging my ears (tried that but whenever I take the earplugs out, I seem to have habituated to the quiet and so I'm even more sensitive to noise) or running away to a quiet place, which is not an option at the moment. I know kids are not socialised and they can't help but make noise or whatever, but don't their parents care about other people?! It seems that everyone else either enjoys this noise or is able to block it out/ ignore it but me

Oh goodness, if anyone can answer this question for me, I'd appreciate it as well. I don't have too many neighbor kids to deal with, but I have a neighbor across the street that has one of those annoying loud boom boom boom basses in their car, and it sets me off as well.
If I could find you an answer to this one, or knew one, I would LOVE to know. It wouldn't do much to go to the parents to try to ask them to control their kids, because they will either get offended and mad at you for criticizing their parenting, or they will tell him "Kids will be kids". Then if you tell the kids to please be quiet, they may at first, but then they'll forget and start being loud again!

Hi golden. Have you tried a white noise machine? It can help mitigate environmental sounds. When mine's running, I can cope better with noises and sleep better too.

Luna's right about talking to the parents. Almost everyone's child is the Second Coming. Same thing with barking dogs.

Hi,

Yes, I kind of live by white noise! I have 2 white noise machines and play white noise in my ipod when I'm asleep to drown out noise. I would never dare say anything to parents about their children because I don't like confrontation and as you say, any criticism of their parenting would probably lead to a torrent of abuse rather than an apology. It's good to know there are people like me though, especially when my family think I'm overreacting or being intolerant.

Noise from children drives me mad aswell. I know you can't stop children from playing in their gardens (and I wish I could!) but it still doesn't stop me from getting annoyed when having to hear them. Sometimes on Sunday afternoons I go and see my grandmother, and she lives in a group of bungalows that are exclusively for old people, but there are family houses backed onto this little area, and the kids there have the loudest mouths you could ever hear, and the noise echoes around the whole block. I don't think the other old people appreciate it, especially the little disabled ladie who lives next door to my grandmother. This little ladie is ill, and needs her afternoon nap each day, but she cannot have one at week-ends and school holidays because of these noisy brats constantly yelling at the top of their voices. Even when it's a cold wet day you still hear them making a din, and they bounce basketballs, making the old people wonder if one's going to come through their window any minute. So it's not just disturbing for me, it's disturbing for the old people too. And what gets me is, there's a really big park just round the corner, surrounded by big playing fields, and I know these kids are old enough to be able to go and play in the park and run around with footballs all day long. They sound like they're over 7, they're not babies. I used to go and play over in the park when I was their age, and it was further away from my house than it is their's. I don't mind hearing children yelling in playgrounds or playing fields or anywhere else dedicated for children, because that's where they belong. I know I sound like a grouchy old woman.

Joe, you don't sound like a grouchy old woman in the slightest, I totally agree with you. It's so unfair but I think it's mostly down to parents allowing children to play wherever they want and not discipling them enough. I think parents these days are slaves to their kids, they let them get away with far too much without a thought for anyone else (now who sounds like the grouchy old woman!) I am househunting at the moment with my bf for somewhere to rent and my criteria is as follows: detached house, no children or people nearby. It's extreme and it's very unlikely that I will be able to find a reasonably priced place that fits, but I find it so difficult to live with the constant noise of children. Quiet and well-behaved kids, no problem, but they seem to be few and far between nowadays.

I drink coffee. I have a 2y old and a 10 y old (who is LOUD so it doesn't matter that he's that old, count him as a toddler, noise-wise).
I'm also intensely sound sensitive, and I have discovered why I can't function without coffee: before coffee , any scream makes my brain cringe. I feel it contract and harden like a muscle preparing for a blow.... after one coffee, I will still shoosh them, but it becomes tolerable. After 3 coffees, I can manage.
Cola works, too. And yes I'm being serious: excitants diminish my sensory sensitivities.

I seem to be OK when I'm with small children who I know, because I can tune into their noise better. Well, if they're hyper and loud I may avoid them still, but if I know they are good and they like me and I like them, then I'm OK. But it's just when I'm not there to deal with them and I just got to sit and listen to them is when I get most upset. I think that is true for everybody though - nobody likes hearing someone's kid screaming and playing up when trying to enjoy a nice meal what they paid a lot for. Personally I think there should either be certain restaurants what don't allow children under a certain age, or they should section off a corner for parents with small children to eat in. If I had small children myself, other people's children wouldn't worry me so much since I'd already be used to having small children around.

I don't think that there is any practical solution to the noise problem since noise generation is not under your control. I get by the best I can trying to avoid the worst noise situations. It's hard to avoid a neighborhood full of screaming kids though. Maybe my memory is bad because it was so long ago, but I don't remember the neighborhood parents allowing their kids to be out screaming all day. I know mine wouldn't allow anything like that.

I do wear earplugs sometimes but your comment about what happens when you take them out is absolutely right. Everything seems to be louder than ever but I find they reduce the high noise fatigue factor. I wear them on long car trips and am amazed at how loud everything is when I remove them at the end of the trip.

No one has mentioned barking dogs in this noise thread yet. They've been the bane of my existence too often.

Edit: I forgot to mention that there are plenty of people who find high noise environments to be soothing, at least that's what they say. I've run into people who say they go crazy if they don't have constant sound of some kind in their environment. I don't understand that anymore than they understand my desire for a quiet environment.