People saying "You haven't got aspergers"

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joseph1979
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08 Nov 2011, 7:05 pm

When i have told people i know i have aspergers i have got mixed reactions , some people have tried to make me feel better by saying oh you don't have aspergers or really i would have never thought it ... I suppose because these people are used to me , but i have been told in no uncertain terms before "I have a funny voice" ,"what i am doing is not socially normal" or am a "bit weird" and my family thought i had it 5 years ago and no one knows me better than them ... the thing is this awnsers so many questions about my life and it makes me feel quite bad when people tell me i haven't got it ... when i am 100% sure i have ... does anyone else get this ?


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Jory
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08 Nov 2011, 7:12 pm

Nobody's said it to me yet. If I hear it, I've got a response prepared: "My psychologist disagrees. He knows what he's talking about. You don't."



IdahoRose
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08 Nov 2011, 7:25 pm

Ironically, the only time I have been told that I'm not acting like an aspie is here on WP. It's pretty much always in response to something I post that another member doesn't agree with. Personally I find it ridiculous to try to make assumptions about the status of someone's neurological wiring based on highly subjective things like personal opinions.



Salome
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08 Nov 2011, 7:30 pm

I have had a few people tell me this. I think it's more common for women and girls to get this disbelief. It might just be that they think it's something to be ashamed of and want you to know that you don't seem like one of them "crazy" people. In other words, they might be trying to be nice.



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08 Nov 2011, 7:33 pm

These people probably think they're making you feel better, they're dead wrong and need to be corrected.


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melvin-z
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08 Nov 2011, 7:34 pm

I've only told a couple of people, and they seem very skeptical, and almost upset about it. But to me, it seems to explain a lot of the difficulties I've had, and continue to have, relating to people. It sort of makes me feel better about myself. I'm not crazy, I just think differently.



MakaylaTheAspie
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08 Nov 2011, 8:13 pm

If they don't believe me, then they're not worth talking to.


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08 Nov 2011, 8:17 pm

I just don't tell people about it. One time I told a friend and he got angry with me... I still don't know why.



jayroo79
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08 Nov 2011, 8:46 pm

I was out drinking with friends and I brought it up, perhaps a bit loudly as I was growing more inebriated by the minute, and was loudly told to not say things like that.


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08 Nov 2011, 8:50 pm

Sister said to me "you have a mild form of it, you can't tell really", teacher said "you could never tell you have it" . My boyfriends friends have no clue that I have it and are convinced that I'm NT. It is harder to tell in girls, they just think I'm cute and weird :P



stillsearching
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08 Nov 2011, 10:48 pm

I get that alot too. Most people around me just kind of accepted it when "professionals" said I had Borderline Personality Disorder and ran with that. So everything I say is just something crazy or a "Borderline thing". My ex girlfriend has been the most receptive/open in the end, she has eventually been able to agree that AS explains alot about the things that I do that tick her off and stuff that eventually led to her leaving me. My Mom just dismissed it at first, saying that it doesn't matter what you call something and asking why I was always trying to label something and find something wrong with myself.

The thing is, I know my mom knows that this is what has always been wrong with me. I know I was not an easy kid or teenager to raise and my parents spent alot of money dragging me to one doctor, therapist, hospital or another trying to figure out WHY. I think what people said earlier about it being harder to detect in females is true for me too, at least for people who I'm close too. But I've had perfect strangers tell me I'm weird and even had some random person on a dating site tell me "you look extremly weird and like you kill animals" once after reading my profile.. ( didn't think I sounded thatweird)

I'd just say screw you to the people who say you don't have it, ultimatly only you know yourself and if it explains those things that were once unexplainable then that's what matters most.


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CockneyRebel
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08 Nov 2011, 10:56 pm

I've been told by many people that they don't think I have AS, right after I tell them my story. What is their version of AS that they're comparing me to. I would be very interested in knowing the answer.


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dogslife
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08 Nov 2011, 11:07 pm

Definitely. When I was younger my odd behavior was 20x more obvious socially, but I've learned how to navigate the world/society much better since then, so a few of the people I've told were very surprised. NTs need to realize that not everyone with AS has every negative stereotype and that we should be judged as individual people just like anyone else (while acknowledging that we have certain traits).



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09 Nov 2011, 12:58 am

Only trolls have told me I don't have it. Someone on yahoo Answers once said that to me and to other aspies because he didn't like our answers. Then he blocked me and I am sure he blocked those other aspies too.

It was more obvious as a kid that I was different but now as an adult people might not be able to tell. Mom told me that people will never guess I have a disability. Online when people would find out I have it when we be chatting on IM, they said they could tell. I asked them how so and they said the way I am talking and I am saying things lot of people wouldn't normally say. Plus one mild aspie said he could tell just by the way I talk and think and he could tell the difference between mild aspies and people who think they have mild AS when they are just a weird NT.
Plus even my old doctor told me I communicate different when he asked me about if I can handle being a mom and if I am worried. I was pregnant at the time.


But I don't tell anyone in real life I have it so I never get it.



DreamSofa
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09 Nov 2011, 4:38 am

Just about everyone I've told I have Asperger's has not believed me.

It's both frustrating and ironic. I've spent a lot of time and energy pretending to be NT by watching NTs and imitating their behaviour. This means that I've become so good at 'passing' that when I decided to tell the people closest to me that I was diagnosed with ASD, they don't believe me. *sigh*

I now feel like I'm in a kind of limbo: too ASD to be 'normal'; not NT enough to comfortably integrate into society.

/whinge off



hanyo
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09 Nov 2011, 4:50 am

League_Girl wrote:
Someone on yahoo Answers once said that to me


In my experience Yahoo Answers is full of trolls and idiots and should be a last resort site to find out anything except maybe for a laugh. Nearly every time I do a search and have something come up there a lot of the advice is trollish, inaccurate, or just completely wrong.