Emotional Overload and Repetition

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Everybody talks about meltdowns, sensory issues, and stimming. I've been wondering about something that may be related to all three. Sure, I have sensory issues, but maybe not as serious ones as others have had. What really got me when I was a kid, though, was that all my emotions, whether good or bad, seemed overwhelming to me. Even as an adult, I've sometimes experienced this, though less often. It's as though my feelings could be too "loud" or "bright" for me, the same way sound and light might be for others, and as though sometimes a feeling that's less strong could still be "irritating" in a manner similar to a shirt tag or something. I don't think this is the same thing as being bipolar, though I can see how it could easily be misunderstood and misdiagnosed as such. For that reason, I'm glad I never told any doctor or mental health specialist about it. Also, if something makes me feel a certain way, I might want to experience it over and over for a while, such as the mood created by a piece of music. I think that's why I sometimes put a track on repeat or get out a particular CD, not just because I like it or because I want to repeat something for the sake of repeating it and enjoying the repetition. Has anyone else experienced this? Any thoughts about it?

This is exactly how I am. When I feel an emotion it's like technicolor when you're used to black and white; over-saturated, too bright, and gaudy. Sometimes it feels great, and I want to relive it over and over (replaying the moment, smelling a certain scent [sense of smell is most closely linked to memory] or listening to music, repetitively, for days or weeks even, just to hang on the feeling.) and other times its just awful, like I'm being bombarded with everything at once, usually causing a meltdown. Negative emotions are worse, and make my sensory issues tenfold what they usually are, especially my hearing. Positive emotions can be simillar though, causing me to stim. Sometimes the positive emotions can be a little scary even when they get that strong. (Oh god I hope I'm not the only one whos like that >//<;)

I think I know what you mean. There are times when I can't figure out quite how I feel, good or bad, because I'm completely overwhelmed and I need to run away, or curl up in a ball and hide. Usually it's something negative, but sometimes when I feel really good it's like the emotion is too large for my body to contain and I get a liitle crazy, not knowing what to do with myself. And I repeat things, too. Maybe we're trying to figure out why certain things affect us? It's also nice to find something reliably repetitous! (does that make sense?)