self injury help

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sorry if i posted this in wrong place
i want advice,
i have many times of self abuse, where my mum has to stop me.
i hit my legs lots of times with my hands if i cant hit walls (if its late at night)
my mum gets very stressed i descrbe it as "that feeling" and i feel better afterwards.
im just confused
i have mild low functining autism (closer to that end than aspegers.)
thanks in adcvance.

My first instinct when I feel bad is to hurt myself too.

I wonder if this has to do with the trouble separating self from other.

When a person is in pain, they can attribute the pain to him/herself or to something outside him/herself.

A useful response to pain coming from an outside source can be attacking.

I think when we feel pain that is hard to identify the source of our minds mistakenly see parts of our bodies as things outside ourselves and want to get rid of them and attack them. Of course it's never useful to attack one's own body.

So I am trying to think of ways that I can attack something else (without harming it either). I think people who don't harm themselves focus their need to attack on participating in aggressive sports or getting angry about worthwhile things like politics. Even though a punching bag or bad policy may not be what was orginally causing them pain, they can get out this bad feeling in a non-harmful or even constructive way by attacking these other things.

I have so much trouble with directing my anger at myself and it just doesn't make logical sense so I am thinking I should get more into sports or politics or something.

I have similar issues and a similar diagnosis.

I would say to find ways to get intense sensations, but ones that won't hurt you... take a freezing cold bath or shower, or hold ice cubes, or have someone give you deep pressure... squeeze your head (yes, it feels good)... whatever you can do.

Even a really hot shower can help - not just cold.

I personally don't have issues with self injury, but can understand why people feel so overwhelmed, and would agree that my coping methods in similar situations could help people who normally have reactions I don't have - an incredibly bath or hot shower, any sort of deep pressure available (being held tightly, weighted blanket, cat laying on me, clenching my own head, even joint compressions) and such definitely helps me.

In particular deep pressure helps more when the overwhelming is more external and intense temperature helps when its more internal.

No idea if it'll actually help. I've never had the issues that you're talking about, but I think it might.

Well, first of all, don't worry too much about the fact that you're doing this. They're bruises; they'll heal. It's okay, I promise. Lots of us do that kind of thing. I do. Much less now than I used to, but still, I do occasionally.

Your mom probably gets stressed because you're her child and she doesn't like to see you injured. It's an instinct, as much of a reflex as blinking when dust gets in your eyes.

Do you want her to stop you, or does that make things worse? Can you talk to her about what you want her to do when you start hitting yourself? Would it help if you brought her here and had us explain to her our experiences with self-injury? I would honestly advise your mom not to worry too hard about it, because it is quite common on the autism spectrum, and it's really not as scary as it looks.

There's a reason why you do this. There's a reason why anybody does anything, and this is no different. You say it helps with stress, which makes sense to me. Sometimes, when I couldn't deal with things, I would hurt myself because that made my body go into fight-or-flight mode, and that gave me more energy. But it only works for so long; and there are better ways to deal with stress. I found out how to make myself more comfortable--to wear soft clothing, sunglasses, and headphones. I am working on finding out how much I can do without getting overloaded, and not going past that. I've learned it's a lot easier to find ways not to need to hurt yourself, than it is to try to stop it.

There are other ways you can deal with the same problems. Try to figure out what purpose this has for you, and find a better way to fulfill that purpose. The most important goal is to find out what problem you're solving with this self-injury; because it's probably a pretty annoying problem. Stopping yourself is not as important as understanding yourself, because if you just force yourself to stop, then you'll still have whatever problem it is hanging around and bothering you.