I need some advice with a 'touch issue', please.

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A week ago I was at my friends home, whom I trust, but even so, they had other friends over, and it became a little overwhelming for me. I told my friend there was too much touching going on, and she told me to "get over it". I'm fine with being touched if I trust the person, but it doesn't mean that I'm ok with it all the time. I told her there are some things I just can't do. It takes time for me to be able to trust people enough, but I think I should be allowed to say when it's too much for me, or when I feel uncomfortable, even if I do trust them. It made me feel bad and confused.
I'm seeing my friend on Tuesday to tell her about this but I don't even know where to begin. I'm worried that she won't believe me when I try to explain and I don't want her to tell me to get over it like it's easy. Is it even possible to do that? Just the thought of too much touching makes me panic. I've googled my situation and I came across something called Sensory Overload. Is that what this is, and is there any way to control / stop it?
And help will be greatly appreciated. Thanks you in advance.

I don't understand. You were meeting new people and they were touching you (hugging, shaking hands, etc) too much, or just seeing other people touch each other was bothering you?

A friend who I trust was touching me and I felt it was too much, after a while I just didn't want it, but I was told to get over it.

I think your friend just wasn't being considerate. If you don't want to be touched, you don't want to be touched. She should have respected that when you told her.

My friend was giving me a haircut, which I was completely fine with. But he kept going back to it to cut random bits off, and when he wouldn't stop I became agitated, and from there it just escalated to panic.

Callista - This is exactly what I thought, I just don't know how to explain to her that this is not something one can just get over.

I agree with Callista, if it's too much touch for you, it's too much, period. We are all our own arbiters of how much touch is acceptable, NT or AS, and good it's boundaries to simply accept another person's request to stop it.

I would, however, suggest you have no need to defend your position or explain it. It's her bad, after all, not yours (and I know she wasn't trying to annoy you). Your resolve to continue set your own touch boundaries is enough, isn't it?

If she wants to open this topic, assure her that you trust her, but when you've reached your touch limit, well...you've reached your limit. Everyone has different limits; it needn't be a "disability" issue.

Oops, again, your friend is a female; the hair cutter is a male, oh well, I still stand by my advise; confused pronouns not withstanding.

The friend who cut my hair is a he (he eventually stopped). The friend who told me to "get over it" is a she (this is the friend I need to explain this to).

Does this friend already know that you have issues or is this a "surprise"?

If the friend already knows you have issues, then if you feel like telling her that her stating to "just get over it" hurt your feelings then you should. But sometimes others (NT's) will do/say things to deal with social situations as well and if there were lots of people around she may not have wanted to draw attention to your difference.

If the friend does not know that you have issues, then you'll need to decide if it's worth telling this friend that you have issues. If it is - then maybe you need to have a conversation to let her know that you can get overwhelmed and unable to cope with situations if you don't have an 'escape' but I would tread carefully as many NT's don't like to discuss and reach logical conclusions and having the discussion - if it is outside of her understanding of the world - may be difficult, especially if she is the same age as you. She may not truly be open to understanding your 'difference' if she cannot conceive it existing (does this make sense?)

As to sensory overload, it happens to varying degrees in varying people - simply your aversion to touch may not be enough to place you in that category - so I shall tell you how sensory overload fits me:
Too much light, noise, or stimuli (large groups of people, noisy events, crowds, even our monthly staff meeting where I have to sit in a large room with everyone from the office and soak up lots of information) makes me feel exhausted, gives me a migraine, or makes me unable to cope with decisions (such as grocery shopping - I can get overwhelmed and not be able to figure out what mustard to buy if they don't have the exact bottle I was looking for - even if the only difference is the quantity) so basically I "shut down" and am unable to continue that activity.
I also experience this as extreme sensations ranging from a horrible burning pain if there is a tag in my shirt to only knowing that I am in pain because I am "antsy" and can't sit still. (this is likely more of the Sensory Integration Disorder which can help play a part in sensory overload).

Most of the time I find my aversion to touch is the fact that I cannot control it and sometimes in social situations I find it difficult enough to navigate nuances, facial expressions, tonal changes, etc. that one more thing is really three things too many.

Hope this helps.

That was very helpful, thank you. My friend is a lot older than me, and her and her partner (the guy who cut my hair) both know I have autism. I don't believe she intentionally meant to upset me - she had had a couple glasses of wine and I think she was tired, but I think I still need to tell her how it made me feel. Maybe then she won't say it again?
Thank you.

Since your friends know about your Autism, I think the best thing is to stress that you not wanting to be touched is not personal against them, or anyone else, but a general thing where you are extremely sensitive, and continual touching can be a painful experience for you. I find that most people (NTs) have no clue how this issue affects people like us.

I should have noted that Sensory Integration Disorder can lead to symptoms like feeling a touch on your skin as painful or feeling like the tag on your shirt is literally cutting your skin... You may want to explore the Integration Disorder.

I just couldn't think of the distinction between the two the other day... or what the other was referenced as.

Good luck!

I assume your friends are NTs. (Nothing wrong about that). The thing is, people take it as an insult and a sign of rejecting them and telling them there's something wrong if you tell them not to touch you. I don't know why, but they don't take it as a sign of YOU wanting that, but as a sign of you telling there's something wrong about THEM.

Just try to explain to your friend it's not about them being bad people, it's just that you don't like to be touched too much. There are stuff they don't like people to do to them and you (hopefully) respect it, so it's a same thing.

Your friend should consider your feelings about not wanting to be touched too much and stop touching you if you ask them to stop.