Diagnosed as an adult - who do you tell ?

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I have been on wrong planet for around 2 months, but thought I should share the fact that I recently got the official diagnosis. I'm 20.

In that regard I'm unsure who I'm supposed to tell? - Who do I "have" to tell? Who do you tell?
I know theres not one right answer to this one, but who would you tell? (or did you tell if you too were diagnosed as an adult?)

My wife knows of course, but I have not told anyone else. Including my parents. I feel I have to tell them, but to be honest I don't see anything constructive/positive result of doing so.

Please excuse any poor language.

I got the DX at 20 too. As far as telling people that's all up to you. You don't have to tell everyone but it is good for some people in your family to know.

I got DX'ed in my early 50s. The only people who know are myself and the person who performed the DX.

I got diagnosed about a year ago at 22. My family of course knew, and I told my two close friends. I guess I also told my college in order to get accomodations. But, you don't have to tell anyone.

I got it at 20 as well. I am not planning on telling anyone - most likely they will be unaware what that means and it will cause unnecessary problems and explaining them would make me super uncomfortable. That includes my parents and close friends, unfortunately. I am afraid that it might change something and I do not wish for any exposure. However it depends even though I do not see any pros in revealing it.

I went the 'I'm going to be incredibly open about this' route and posted that I got the diagnosis on google+.

Also, my parents were physically in the room with me when I got my diagnosis despite me being 22.

People I think need to know: My boyfriend, my parents, my boyfriend's mom, people I know who are wondering if they are on the spectrum, people who have to regularly deal with me when I'm most likely to become overloaded (meaning people who play a particular ccg in my case)

I told my sister in law, whose son also has aspergers. Her reponse was "well, duh!, I could have told you that years ago"

Thanks for all the answers

I'm fairly sure I wont tell my parents. However I'm not sure about telling my "colleges" (I'm a student). I'm not ashamed of it, and I'd rather they now than go around imagining all sorts of crazy. However I have no idea how to say it (I normally don't talk to anyone of them outside a strict in class study setting). And I don't want to come off as some idiot "look at me I'm so special". I study psychology and I feel some people all ready talk to me like they have diagnosed me in their heads with social anxiety/ schizoid personality disorder /avoid-ant personality disorder or some other kind of "crazy"

I can imagine why you wouldn't want psych classmates knowing, they would just talk your ear off wanting to analyse you further,
I got the diagnosis earlier this year at 29, but I am also a student. The only people who know are my GF, my supervisor and the admin in my faculty at school, and a few colleagues, but only ones I don't work with. I don't want any of the students I teach (as a grad student), or the students I work with, or the profs for my courses to know because I don't feel that my AS related problems affect my working relationship with them. If your symptoms don't affect your interaction with classmates or profs I wouldn't disclose it, from some of the things I've read on here, some people get weird, but I am new to my DX as well so no personal experience there.
Although anone you tell could react differently, of the few former classmates I told, the context in which you tell them seemed to make a difference in individual reception. In response to offensive remarks about an LD student, a colleague saw my AS in a whiney, "look at me", light. Others who know for other reasons have simply been discreet and I suppose appreciate knowing, making more effort to reach out to me socially and professionally, acknowledging that I am inclined to introversion. I thought that might be something to keep in mind for anyone in this situation to think about, perhaps avoid some awkwardness.
I didn't tell my parents either, I have my GF (of 12 years) for personal support, and you mentioned you're married. In my case, my GF is the person with the closest contact and interest in my well-being, so she makes sure I keep myself healthy and mentally well, that was the case prior to my DX anyways; I would expect that you can probably relate.
I really only want to let people know when it is likely to interfere with our interaction.

I'm currently getting assessed. I've thought a lot about this, and I really waver a lot. As I've written in my blog, if I get the Diagnosis, I actually feel a certain obligation to be open about it. (If that sounds weird, check out the blog to see why I say that.) On the other hand, there is the fear that the revelation will be taken sort of as, "I'm really just a child in an adult body. Please treat me as such." Of course, that's not what I'd mean, but some people might think I did. Then it would be a matter of who would think I was making a shocking, outrageous request and be scornful because of it versus who would think it was appropriate to relate to me that way and be condescending and patronizing because of it. However, I really have no idea how well things might go, and I might be worrying for nothing. Maybe I need to give the people I know more credit. After all, they've known me for about a decade.

There are a few people in the crowd I hang out with that I can figure wouldn't be able to keep it to themselves if they knew. If I want to tell everyone, I should mention it to one of them. If I want very few or no other people to know, I shouldn't.

My girlfriend, my two sisters, my brother-in-law, and my other sister's boyfriend already know I'm trying to find out. I'll let them know when I have an answer. This whole journey arose out of a discussion we had about my father, so my Diagnosis would answer questions about him, because we don't ever expect him to get assessed. I haven't decided if I'll ever tell him or not. It's a little complicated.

My mother is deceased. I'd tell her in a heartbeat. I wish I could talk to her now.

There are some people from my past that I see on a very infrequent basis, but my plan would be to tell them. That's a story of its own.

All that's assuming I get the Diagnosis in the first place, which I might not.

bigbadbrad: Yes, I can relate to what you said about you having one person to share these things with. I also find what you're saying about not seeing the point of telling it to people which it does not inflict directly. However, I'm unsure if it's really anyone of the very few people I communicate with which does not pick up on something. And I'm finding (I might just be imagining this, I'm not sure how it's supposed to be) that the people in my class is in an increasing degree treating me like some pity case. I'm not sure of their intentions really. They could be curious, feel sorry for me, or trying to make fun of me. But since they after all are going to work with people I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I don't know if you have any experience with this situation, but I'll give you an example. In class I'm always among the first to arrive. I secure myself a small table in the back with 2 seats. I sit on the chair thats against the hallway, communicating that "I don't need you to sit next to me". All though we are supposed to work in groups I'm usually always alone. However from time to time some person sits next to me and try desperately to engage me in conversation. I feel they feel sorry for me, and want to say that I'm more than fine with sitting alone. However I'm afraid of offending someone so I don't say anything. I must be sending out some signal though since people never come back.

Mindwithoutwalls: In lack of a better term I'll just say: I totally get you.