Un-learning Asperger

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I know it's not fashionable on here, but I find Asperger tendencies cause a lot of social and behavioural pain to me and those I love, and don't add a lot in the social arena: it would be good not to have the AS tendencies, at least in the social area (I'd like to keep the systemising ability in other areas!).

My feeling is that
1. Professor Simon Baron-Cohen's 'hyper-systemising' theory of AS is true - and further that
2. Maybe we can turn off the (deafening) systemising going on in our brains.

I've been putting this into action and I am very, very encouraged.

I put the thesis up on http://unlearningasperger.blogspot.com - I'd welcome any comments!

All the very best
JC

very interesting. however i dont think you can un-learn aspergers

My entire personality has developed around the fact that I have AS.

Therefore to be partially 'cured' would alter my enitre personality, which I don't want to happen. I would become something i'm not.

Anyway, the name 'Simon Baron-Cohen' makes me think too much of the chap who played Borat, something tells me I might just as well have a consultation with Edd the Duck...

I wish you luck if this is your true personal goal, to become more NT. Whatever floats your boat!

Personally, I found 30 years of trying to be someone I was not very distressing. It was only when I found WP last month that I stopped threatening to hurt myself, thinking suicide, calling myself stupid all the time and saw some hope for myself.

I find with my son, the more I tried to make him "be normal" the worse he coped with life, the more anxiety he felt.

Yes, it is good to do what you can to learn to cope with life. If you want to take that one step further and try and be an NT, well, go for it.
Remember, though, at the end of the day, IF you find yourself failing at the game, don't take is too hard as defeat. AS is a neurological condition, it is not just a behavior problem.

thanks, and I agree that's the common view of doctors right now. Would you like to have NT functioning available to you, as well as Aspie functioning, if you could?

I really think you're wrong - you are NOT just your AS, your systemising - you are much more than that - that is not 'you'. If you had NT abilities as well it's just a wider ability set to live with, to be 'you' with ...

Last edited by JCJC777 on 21 Apr 2007, 4:05 am, edited 1 time in total.

I really think you're wrong - you are NOT just your AS, your systemising - you are much more than that - that is not 'you'. If you had NT abilities as well it's just a wider ability set to live with, to be 'you' with ...

Last edited by JCJC777 on 21 Apr 2007, 4:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

Perhaps. But nonetheless, I think I personally will pass on the idea. Figeting with things like this has the potential to go very wrong.

If it works for others, then all power to them, but i'll skip it methinks.

I think you can change your behavior, but you can't change your personality. You can learn to deal with things in a more positive way. I personally ascribe to public vs. private behavior. In public, I don't want to call attention to myself (it is embarrassing!) so I use proper social behavior when casually interacting.

Privately, I've built a life that doesn't revolve around socializing. I have my interests and my close family and that is all I need or want. Everyone in my family is introverted so it is not a problem.

I find the title of "Unlearning" Asperger's a bit misleading because you are simply adapting. I think the entire thought of systemizing is rather aspergerish and can see how it would appeal to aspies.

You paved the way....I don't want to change my personality (already tried and failed), I just want to find a girl and be happy with her and the few friends I already have. I had a girlfriend for 3 1/2 year and I was happy, I just hope I can find the one to spend my life with, that's all.

I find this assumption eroneous:

Are AS brains different from NT brains at birth?

It appears not. Work by Eric Courchesne of University of California, San Diego suggests most abnormal autism brain growth occurs between birth and age 3 (i.e. not before birth) (Science, June 2005).

I don't think AS traits are learned so one can't unlearn them. I believe Courchesne is talking about a regressive form of autism. AS is genetic and it shows up on IQ tests as a brain dysfunction where you have a higher verbal IQ than a performance IQ. What about dysphraxia and other neuro problems such as Central Auditory Processing Disorder? 80% of all people with AS also have Non Verbal Learning Disorder. I don't think I learned any of this from my extremely extraverted, friendly, unsystemizing mother, but I inherited it from my aspie father, whom I didn't really spend much time with.

Let's put the Refrigerator Mothers back into the deep freeze, please!

I was curious how others would react! They reacted just as I would have.


JCJC777,

Your title is demeaning and misleading. Do you REALLY think I learned this, etc.... before I was THREE? I showed DEFINITE symptoms. As for the sensitivity? DREAM ON! There is NO way I would try to get used to the noise, etc... AND, if I DID get used to it, I would fear I was going DEAF! I ENJOY the cold air! 32F feels GREAT! I am actually TRYING to get to be more like I was at 5. It seems that as the good comes back, the "bad" gets more obvious too.

Still, what would that buy me? And I am not about to go to a persons house for HOURS to watch a stupid game. I am not going into bars. I don't want just anyone, etc....

Steve

If you want to rid your hypersensitive hearing problems, use earplugs. Trust me; they work. :3

Same here.
When (last August) I moved from my parents' house to the place where I live now (alone), I brought a picture of me (SMILING) age 9/10 and put it in my bedroom, just in front of my bed.
Since I moved I started to retake contact with my true (childish for some aspects, yes) self and things are getting much better (I'm not saying I have no problems).
I think you can't change your inner nature, no matter how hard you try.This path only led to pain in my experience.
I'm convinced It's much better to accept and enjoy who you are as much as you can.

I suppose if you were aware of it early on in life(early childhood) you could head it off at the pass and learn around it, but many of us have had to deal with it so long in our lives that change of this magnitude is so dramatic that it would be impossible(or at least I think so.)


I have alot of self esteem issues, and often wish I was someone else, but I'll be damned if thats possible. Trying to just give up and be whatever it is I am.
If you want to give this a go, more power to ya brother.

Even before I knew I was AS I tried to be NT. I caused me anger. I think it is better to try and understand NTs a bit better.

Btw just because you’re AS doesn't mean you can't have similar social problems that some NT people have. I have worked on my Social Anxiety. Stuff like that can be caused partly from feeling different and not understanding things. Sure it was different for me than my NT peeps, but is still a separate problem that can be worked on. It is not to do with my need for 'me time' or personal space. I was something I actually wanted because I did feel isolated.

I think there are conflicts. But I've only had tree major so far with AS (where as SA was a pain). That was not really interested in friend in the true sense growing up. It was only till around 20 that I realised I wanted some. I guess it was because things changed and company was not automatic. though I really didn't know what it was I had to figure it out. But really I recon As could figure anything out if they really wanted to.

Other one is my problem with closeness I'm not really sure where that fit in. Put I'm pretty clueless on it at the moment. I will have to figure it out, it will be hard.

Last one is executive problems. This is a really pain but I sort of see it as associated with but a separate parasite. I need to build up enough courage and keep pestering the doctors (not something I'm great at).

These are all problems but I want to solve them to be AS not NT. There are not really about being NT. The last one for instance I have to solve because of my curiosity. I'm stunted I feel like my life is being wasted. It is not worth it. If I didn’t feel I was capable of anything I wouldn't bother. For some reason I don't really get depression like NTs do or else I'll be bed ridden. Sometimes I think if I was they would take me more seriously. There is a small chance I think but I'm hanging on to that.

I think in principle there is nothing wrong with working on things you want to like eye contact. I did this. Other things you can analyse and feel you really understand them but you still fell f**k it I really don't want to _____ it is dumb. I guess I mix it up , I did this naturally I don’t need an expert.

Sorry if I wrote this in a really confusing way, hopefully you’ll understand what I meant.