I started out this quarter at school trying to convince myself that it was going to be great! I'd make some friends, have some study buddies, life would be good. And it was... for about 3 weeks. All the "misfits" were grouped together into one study group in class. This includes one who refuses to talk (not for any specific reason, it's not a disability, just doesn't want to participate), one who has a mental block on anything to do with the subject matter and rarely will outwardly seek answers on their own, one who has no common sense and refuses to actually work problems on their own and me.
At first it was fine because this class is in my major and I'm fairly good at it for the most part. Some things come pretty naturally to me. More and more I found myself being forced into a teaching role which was fine at first, but now I'm just bitter and resentful. I hate going to class and this was supposed to be my most epic school year ever! I have my favorite professor and my favorite subject, err obsession. LOL! I find myself withdrawing deeper and deeper into myself and today I completely shut down because 2 of them were yelling at me wanting answers and I just couldn't take it any more. I'm not going to tutoring any more because the 2 people I don't like are always there sucking up our profs time leaving nothing for me. I'm tired of being asked for answers all the time as well.
It would be easier if I had other friends in the class, but I don't. Everyone else seems to talk together and go out to lunch on break and they never ask me to go anywhere. I feel so awkward and lonely. I have a hard time carrying on a real conversation with people. It really sucks.
I'm trying to schedule an evaluation for a formal asperger's diagnosis some time this month, but I don't know if that will happen. In the meantime, what can I do to stop being taken advantage of? How can I help others to like me? I'm a cross somewhere between a perpetual 10 year old and a scientific genius, meaning I rarely relate to anyone else. I just want to have friends and be able to deal with the people in my group for 2 more weeks until break. Thanks!
01 Dec 2011, 7:35 pm
