Are you concerned about your physical appearance?

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whitemissacacia
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25 Nov 2011, 9:45 am

I know it's stated that we aspies don't care about looking attractive, and that we are often portrayed as "ugly" or careless, as far as hygiene and beauty is concerned. Do you agree?
I don't :wink: I particularly like looking pretty and getting new clothes and stuff. What about you guys?



dragonbean
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25 Nov 2011, 10:11 am

It used to be that I didn't care, but over the past year I have started to care a little bit. I still don't wear makeup but I do have clothes that actually fit me now instead of being three sizes too big.

And the fact that I'm not pretty physically (without taking into account the small effort I put into my appearance) has started to bug me when it never used to. That is not very clear but I do not know how to phrase it better.



Joe90
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25 Nov 2011, 10:12 am

I am very concerned about my physical appearence. I always like to go out looking stylish, and I like to blend in, and I keep hygeinic by changing my underwear and my T-shirt every day, maybe my sweater every 3 or 4 days, and same with my trousers or shorts. I also put deoderant on every day and I make sure I have baths every 2-3 days but a wash every night. Anyhoo I keep myself clean, and I keep my hair from going greasy.

I have a fear of rejection and humiliation, so that is why I like to take care of myself. Well, even if I don't go out I still like to make sure I'm clean because I don't like smelling at all. I don't do it for strangers I may pass in the street, I do it for myself.


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DuneyBlues
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25 Nov 2011, 10:13 am

It's a ascribed status that's malleable.

In other words it may seem like it is inherent and fixed but you can work on it. For instance whether it's: physique or revenue both can seem attractive and can override an daunting characteristics. However it should be noted if you attract an entity for one powerful characteristic they will be only thier for it.

In the world today , women and men are under constant pressure to allow cultural ideal comparisons to apprehend thier minds. Where beauty is tangible only for those who meet it , it leaves inequality out of for the 99.5% where 0.5% are supermodels who are told thier beautiful but subsequently OD and cut themselves. Beauty in this sense is a rare gift depending on subjectivity and it doesn't bring happiness.



Amik
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25 Nov 2011, 10:32 am

I care less about my appearance than most NTs, but that doesn't mean that I don't care at all.

I care a lot about my hygiene. I want to look, feel and smell clean. I keep myself, my clothes and my surroundings clean.

I don't care about fashion at all, but I have my own style though. I choose clothes that I find comfortable and nice looking. That's usually quite different from what's "in" at the time. I don't care if other people like my clothes or not. I'm not wearing them for them, I'm wearing them for me. And whenever there is a conflict between comfortable and nice looking, I go for comfort over appearance.

I'm female, but I never ever wear make up. I hate the way it feels and looks and I prefer a more natural look, even though a lot of people find it strange that I never wear make up.

I don't get upset about having "ugly days". I have colleagues who have even taken the day off or phoned in sick when all that was wrong was that they were just having an "ugly day" with their skin/face/hair acting out and they didn't want to be seen. I wouldn't do that and I think that's overreacting. I don't care if my face is full of eczema rashes or my hair is not the way I like it best, I still go on with my day and see no reason to hide myself while the ugliness passes or anything like that. I think there's more important things in life than looking attractive at all times.



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25 Nov 2011, 10:37 am

No. Not at all. I made/repaired a lot of my own clothing because I'm dirt poor, and people mistake this for "style" all the time. Annoying. Every repair and modification I have made to my garments has been for completely practical reasons. Most having to do with waterproofing, mobility, heat regulation, item storage, sensitivity to synthetic materials, and sensitivity to bright colors.

Unless I am working at a job where the manager desires a level of "presentability," as they like to call it. I call it "scamouflage." I "clean up real good."


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25 Nov 2011, 10:44 am

I am highly concerned over my physical appearence, I'd spend about an hour or two a day on it back before I realised there was no one around to care about what I looked like. Although if I'm going outside I make an effort to look good.

I'm male btw.

My hair and skin are the main problem, i have eczema and curly hair. I know some people WISh they had curly hair but by golly..it's *very* hard to work with.


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CockneyRebel
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25 Nov 2011, 11:00 am

I care about my appearance. I talk about my appearance to the point of annoyance here, sometimes.


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25 Nov 2011, 11:21 am

I am fine with how I look.........if someones got a problem with how I look then guess who's problem it is, theirs.


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OliveOilMom
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25 Nov 2011, 11:52 am

I care a lot about how I look, and I'm not happy with it.

I was called "ugly" by other kids growing up so much that it's sunk in and it's who I think I am. It went on until I was about 16., Looking back at my pictures, I can see that I wasn't ugly, just dirty. When I started trying to do makeup in 6th grade, I did it entirely wrong, nobody taught me and I learned by trial and error. I decided that when I grew up I would do something about how I looked.

I was semi-satisfied with my appearance for a while, and have been until recently. When I say recently, I mean about three days ago.

I felt that I looked OK. As I've said on here, I like different hair and makeup styles and will try them. It makes me feel good about myself. Then I saw the picture.

I had dressed up, really dressed up, for one of the kids friends wedding. It was last month. I did my hair and makeup, and took my time and I thought I looked great. I saw some of the pictures and it's not what I see in the mirror. In all the pictures there, I looked a lot older than I look in the mirror when I'm smiling and concentrating on makeup and hair. You couldn't even tell I had makeup on! It depressed me so bad that now, I don't really want to leave the house because short of plastic surgery, I can't do anything about the droopy facial skin, and the way my teenage acne scars really stand out now that my skin has lost it's tone.

Yeah, I know that we all get older, and I don't dislike people based on their looks, but I really dislike me based on mine!

Frances



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25 Nov 2011, 11:56 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I am fine with how I look.........if someones got a problem with how I look then guess who's problem it is, theirs.
Exactly how I feel.



aspie48
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25 Nov 2011, 12:14 pm

i'm pretty ugly but its natural doesn't have anything to do with hygiene. hygiene does keep me from being really ugly though :wink:



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25 Nov 2011, 12:26 pm

I have strong feelings about looks and appearance-I have lost a lot of weight and can dress better because I can shop in normal clothes places and try to look better but I still go places and people turn away and wont talk to me and another aspie I though was a friend and possible romantic partner told me that they had a problem with my looks and personaility and this was after I was lied to about it being a problem with age difference and the other person the "got" with on the first date was only 3 years younger than me and was bigger and heavier than me-then the person had the gall to tell me maybe I should work out and get into better shape-I snapped back and asked if they said that to the person they gave it up to on the first date and was told "no" so I hate superficiality and I keep myself clean and definitely dress nicer than I used to in a style I feel comfortable in and it never seems to be enough for potential friends/partners etc etc.


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SyphonFilter
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25 Nov 2011, 12:29 pm

aspie48 wrote:
i'm pretty ugly but its natural doesn't have anything to do with hygiene. hygiene does keep me from being really ugly though :wink:
I'm totally with you on the hygeine issue. People should, at the very least, shower daily (if they have acess to one). Take a little pride in themselves, you know?



DerStadtschutz
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25 Nov 2011, 12:34 pm

I don't really care about my appearance. I don't know what looks "good," and I don't really care too much. I think there are many much more important things in life than whether or not you're good looking. I also know that you can only do so much, and a lot of it is ridiculous anyway. I'll comb my hair, and I'll put on clothes, but I don't use hair gel or hair spray. I usually wear plain solid color t-shirts and camouflage pants. I am a bit concerned about being fat, but that's more from a perspective of concern for my health and my ability to fit into my clothes.



Toxicity
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25 Nov 2011, 12:54 pm

I'm often referred to as an ugly guy, so I don't really give s*** about how my hair is and all that stuff. But that doesn't mean I'm unhygenic, I do shave, shower ect.