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I'm going to a doctors tomorrow, and I have a feeling he won't listen to my diagnosis of aspergers AT ALL, and unfortunately my family and those around me generally assume I'm trying to wash my hands of blame by acting "stupid" with people... I posted a full thing about me on the new members forum, but just wanna ask here...

Any aspies in Perth, Western Australia?


Anyone know how to make a doctor at least think about this possibility, I've wrote down every symptom, I've wrote down my childhood problems, I've wrote down how its always been, but I have a feeling he'll class it as anxiety + ocd + ten other things...

Any ideas?

I would not worry too much about getting the Dr to confirm if you have aspergers .

Tell him what current problems you have and he might suggest solutions to those problems.

yeh I getcha, people tend to ask me for "proof" though

Are you from Australia?

Anyway, I think you should state your case as clearly, honestly and carefully as possible.

One bad thing you say to someone could make them very angry.

I'm having the worst dilemma with my girlfriend, she claims that its "tit for tat" and its perfectly fair of her to play mind games with me (for example yesterday telling me she loves me then today telling me its just about sex) because in the past I've confused her so many times and insulted her so many times, through losing the plot and saying things I didn't mean.
I just don't have a clue now, I want to believe she loves me, but the above is just one example of games she's been playing for a month or so now..
I admit in the past I said nasty things to her, but I've learnt each and every day..

What would you do if someone tells you beautiful things one minute, the next that you're boring and they'll even get a restraining order against you, then they ring again and act as if nothing happened!! !

Its seriously messing with me, but I feel without her I'll be totally alone with no one to even understand me in the smallest way..

Why did you ask if there is anyone with AS around Australia?

Are you from there?

yup Perth, Western Australia..

Oh, I see.

You have trouble making friends, so you asked if there is anyone with AS from Australia because it would be easier for you.

I guess you could put it that way, no trouble making friends, I usually impress them with the heaps of things I know, I have trouble KEEPING friends

I wish you good luck trying to get that diagnosis! Unfortunately I can't really give you advice on how to get it successfully. I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the past 3, almost 4 months now trying to get the diagnosis. But he wants to hear all this stuff about current problems, as well as my history. Trying to remember all the crap that happened when I was a really young child is tough!

I'm sorry that your girlfriend gives you that sort of treatment. I can't stand mindgames, and I hate it when people do them against me. Does she do it on purpose, as a form of retaliation for all the times that you misspoke and unintentionally hurt her? Is she aware that you couldn't help it, and you're trying to control it? I guess she would be more convinced that you can't help it much, without that diagnosis, I don't know for sure.

I hope you're able to make and KEEP the friends, though sorry I'm not from Western Australia. I'm in the East Coast of the United States.

Oh, unfortunately for you, I'm from America.

Oops, sorry I should have read your first post in what is essentially the "New Members" forum. From what I understand, your girlfriend doesn't accept your AS explanation for your behavior... I don't know what else you can do. She'll have to accept it, or else it seems likely that the problems will continue. But why does she gotta do mindgames?? I don't mean to be judgmental, she probably feels really hurt about everything, but mindgames sure seem to be an immature, passive aggressive way of handling things. How old is she?

she is 19 years old..

The story continued tonight, she actually phoned me, we talked for say, 30-40 minutes, it was beautiful, she shared her day, I shared my days thoughts, it was actually really pleasant.
Until suddenly she starts snapping at me and going "DUH" every time I don't get something straight away, I say sorry and explain that I'm not trying to annoy her I just misunderstand. She calms down a bit but goes silent. Suddenly she tells me that its all just about sex, and that I should stop harrassing her, I try to explain that she actually rang me, and that its obvious to both of us its something much more than that. But she won't have it, she continues to scream and I start to stress out and scream too, as soon as I lose it she walks back into the room where her friends are, and repeats what I say to everyone in there (what I said was quite horrible spur of the moment insult) then hangs up on me and won't answer the phone anymore.

With all my heart I want to give her another chance, but it seems every time I let her in, she's going to use that knowledge to hurt me, she knows the only thing I need from her is security so its the one thing she keeps toying with, she feels that I deserve this...

I'm thinking its over, its been over for a while, a relationship with one side giving love, and one side giving hate, is no relationship at all.

OMG!

Ok, one thing that is ridiculous and needs to stop right away, is that she makes you feel stupid if you don't understand something right away. Seriously, if she's going to be insulting and immature like that, then something is seriously wrong with HER, not you. Maybe she herself has issues that she needs to deal with? Who knows.

It kind of sounds like she treats your behavior as intentionally trying to hurt her or something; perhaps she is insecure, and thinks that every peculiar thing you are doing is a sign that you don't really love her. The only thing I could guess would be to try to make her feel secure (if possible, since she doesn't pick up the phone) about the relationship, and see if that improves things. Perhaps tell her that you love her, and suggest something to give her or do something with her that is meaningful to her. If you really want, you could potentially also abstain from any intimate activity (you know what I mean, but this is the general Autism discussion forum after all) for a while, to prove to her that your relationship is much more, and to prevent her from using that excuse. If she has security, then maybe she will in turn not withhold it from you. I'm not saying that anything is your fault, that's the last thing on my mind. Though sometimes you just gotta be the bigger person and give a little, before you get anything in return. You are already giving a lot, but perhaps it's not quite the thing that she is looking for. Try not to think of all the bad stuff that happened in the past, and give it one more go if you can muster the strength to do so.

See if that improves things, I'm hoping that it will. Good luck and hang in there!

Hmmn

I've tried to explain to her what I need to maintain a stable relationship, but telling someone you need trust and loyalty, but also need to be able to be alone and KNOW that they're not cheating otherwise it leads to obsessive meltdowns...

Which lead her to say "you're not special, you don't deserve special treatment" I tried to explain I don't think I'm special, I just know now that I need someone with patience who can handle me repeating myself without screaming at me, someone that KNOWS the only way I can give love is through attempting to inspire, is through attempting to share knowledge and things I know..

Its definately over.

In future I'm simply gonna make sure I warn people about the way I am before letting them get too close to me..


Alone, but never alone..

My apologies... I'm sorry that things didn't work out. Hope the next person you find will be more understanding of your situation.