Depression, confusion, and desires. Oh my!

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I suffer from depression. Mainly I believe it is because I have no one to talk to. Granted about 99% of the time I want to be by myself and do what I want. But the other 1% really stands out. I really have no friends at all to talk to my issues about. Granted I probably won't talk to them face-to-face about it anyways, doing so seems to nearly give me a arrhythmia. And forget it if there are other people in the vicinity. But I want to kick the depression. Most of it is onset of my OCD, where my brain is telling me that I am a horrible person... well, my brain is not actually talking... but I get thoughts of things I have done wrong, and it makes me really depressed.

Confusion. I cannot remember much, and I cannot think properly. Everything in my head is like there is a cloud in my head. It's like my brain is a jigsaw puzzle and the pieces are scattered everywhere! Sometimes I just want to rip out my hair in frustration. I want to know why I am like this and why I could not have just been born a normal person. Sometimes I think it would be nice to just sit here and make my crafts and write on my blog for my entire life. But I know that's impossible.

I think I need a counselor or someone...

I have similar issues... My depression comes and goes, and I don't have anyone I really like to talk to about it with. It's mostly a trust issue with me, I don't like spilling the beans to people I'm on uncertain grounds with. My 2 people I trust enough to help me navigate the maze that is my mind are VERY hard to get ahold of.. #1 doesn't like to answer her phone, and #2 is my boss lady, and I only get to see her at work, because her man is a dominating tyrant.

To help with the jig-saw puzzle, or the veil over your mind, you might try meditation. It helps me out when I have trouble remembering things, and need to be focused on the task at hand.