How do other people perceive you? With a twist.

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Phonic
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01 Dec 2011, 10:27 pm

Lets get right to it: How do people you're comfortable with perceive you and how do people you are uncomfortable with perceive you?

It's very understandable if you have no idea how people see you, particuarlarly if you're autistic, I have cheated a bit in that I recently had a psyche test done and how I come off was explained by my therapist, someone I'm comfortable with, and I happen to know how I am perceived by people I am uncomfortable with or outright dislike - they tend to be the same people.

Comfortable with

My therapist said I come off a intelligent, intense, snarky, dominant, unwilling to let people get away with even the most minor of pointless social graces, grandiose and theatrical, arrogant, witty.
A true disciple of Gregory House MD indeed.

Uncomfortable with

Rather similar to the above but with a major difference: I let them get away with their social niceties and I give far less tangentical answers, the answers (and when i speak to someone I don't like it is usually only to answer a question) tend to be rapid and short, my answers to those I'm comfortable with are rambling philosophical tangents. I do quite enjoy both, because if there is one thing I enjoy it is picking people apart and seeing how they will react to my different styles of conversation - and unlike perhaps many of you - I love conversing with a worthy opponant.


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bumble
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01 Dec 2011, 10:41 pm

It varies.

Uncomfortable with:

Shy, nervous, slow, not very bright, stand offish, stuck up, arrogant, over sensitive, quiet or too talkative depending on whether I clam up or ramble.

Comfortable with:

Described by academic institutions as 'Extremely intelligent' (their words, not mine). Friends, on the rare occasion I meet them, see me as someone they can talk about anything too, open minded, talkative, sensitive, creative, moody and idealistic. Oh and quirky, weird and in one case wise (or almost enlightened lol)...he liked my philosophies. Seen by employers I got on with as: Very capable and good at my job.



pensieve
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01 Dec 2011, 10:54 pm

Very talkative on both fronts.

Comfortable talkativeness: Talking about the news, weather, something I've done that day or talking non-stop about a particular subject, argumentative.

Uncomfortable talkativeness: Saying the first things that comes to my mind, asking too many questions, apologising.

Sometimes I can be quiet when around people I'm uncomfortable with.

I think people I'm comfortable with perceive me as intelligent, ordered, opinionated, a hobbyist, funny, a drinking buddy.

I think people I'm uncomfortable with perceive me as intellectually disabled or not on par with them, nervous, rude (not interested in them), dominating of the conversation or snobbish by not speaking much, and probably that 'loner' word. Throw in over sensitive as well.


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glasstoria
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01 Dec 2011, 11:01 pm

I come off as an air head to other people that I am not comfortable with because I get confused so easily and can't think of things even if I know the answer. People always say that I am quiet, or sometimes calming to be around. People who know me really well that I am comfortable with know that I can be very smart and funny. A girl who had just met me told my friend that I make strange faces. A boy I was dating briefly said I was kooky. A boy who has known me for ten years says my lack of ability to recognize reality is endearing. My ex says I'm a heartless b***h for not sticking around to enjoy the effects of his rampant alcoholism. so I guess it just depends who you ask.


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swbluto
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01 Dec 2011, 11:11 pm

Hell if I know. I wonder if why I don't know is become I'm more socially oblivious than most who've posted or because I possibly have much worse memory, so whatever observations or inferences I may have made in the past, I can't recall.

But, I do know...

One team member called me "shy".

The computer science teacher almost seemed to imply I was "That weirdo in the corner".

The two other team members on my team probably thought I was naive, slow and inept.

Everybody else I come into contact with, possibly negative, hostile, crazy, weird, intelligent, slow, silly or some combination thereof. Everybody else, who knows.



Last edited by swbluto on 01 Dec 2011, 11:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1000Knives
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01 Dec 2011, 11:12 pm

Uh, as far as specific traits, I think both would say something along the lines of "weird/eclectic" but as far as broader traits, I don't really know. I think in my life, most people I meet seem to have either a very positive opinion of me, or a really negative opinion of me. Like, I don't think people like, usually have a neutral opinion of me, I mean I'm sure a few people do, but it seems either very positive or very negative.

My neighbor is one of the few people with a really positive opinion of me, he's a 55 year old Jamaican dude, and he keeps telling me I'm a genius and really smart and stuff, and to basically tell everyone else's opinions otherwise to f**k off. On the other hand, another old guy, I know from the skating rink, he sorta coaches me I guess, he sorta disses me for my NVLD or Aspie traits. One time I was slightly confused whether or not I needed water and remembered I had a water bottle, he's like "I should get you the Phil Collin's song (it's by Genesis, idiot, jeez) 'Land of Confusion'" He's got an attitude, but gives me good advice regardless, so I'm OK with him. Eh, whatever.



dianthus
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01 Dec 2011, 11:19 pm

I can't think of many perceptions I do feel genuinely comfortable with. There are some I try to cultivate but I know that those perceptions tend to come packaged with more expectations.

Comfortable with:

independent, intelligent (but a little ditzy), loyal, sweet, quiet, passionate, driven

Uncomfortable with:

lazy, rude, snobby, bitchy, shy, dense, manipulative, emotional, melodramatic, nerdy

I come off to everyone a different way so I never know what people are going to say about me. I think the one thing everyone would agree on, is I am quiet. I am fine with that but I don't like it if they assume it's shyness.



Burnbridge
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01 Dec 2011, 11:22 pm

"the Comfortable with" people: Friendly, polite, respectful & caring; honest to a fault; excited about life; creative (artistic) & insightful. A thorough teacher and avid learned. Always ready to help. Tireless.

"the Uncomfortable with" people: unreliable, arrogant, condescending, evasive, incoherent, inconcise, shifty, maudlin, always trying to take over, insane, lazy, inconsiderate of other's feelings.

To every [perception] there is an equal and opposite [perception]


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dianthus
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01 Dec 2011, 11:59 pm

swbluto wrote:
Hell if I know. I wonder if why I don't know is become I'm more socially oblivious than most who've posted or because I possibly have much worse memory, so whatever observations or inferences I may have made in the past, I can't recall.


The reason I know is because a variety of people have told me over the years, in no uncertain terms, what they thought of me, often while they were yelling at me.



Burnbridge
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02 Dec 2011, 12:24 am

dianthus wrote:
The reason I know is because a variety of people have told me over the years, in no uncertain terms, what they thought of me, often while they were yelling at me.


^- Yep.


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IdahoRose
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02 Dec 2011, 12:41 am

Comfortable With:

Talkative, childlike, passionate, spiritual, artistic, kind, highly intelligent, low self-esteem, likes to joke around.

Uncomfortable With:

Aloof, quiet, moody, selfish, spoiled, easily irritated, too dependent on others.



LadySera
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02 Dec 2011, 12:50 am

Friends have said that I'm a good listener and understanding.

People I've angered (including friends/family) will spit out crazy when angry.

People who don't really know me have described be as shy, quiet, stuck up, homeless, a guy, a weirdo, smart, ditsy or nice.



iceveela
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02 Dec 2011, 1:25 am

Comfortable with

My step-mom, dad, three older brothers, and step-brother all categorize me as "weird", "awkward", and "bag lady" (they say it to my face)
All of my friends (i did a survey) say I am weird
My teachers tell me I am intelligent and smart
Lets not forget "lazy", "tacky" "unfashionable", "granny-dress", "Related to lady gaga", "the chick with a dick" and many other lovely names...

Uncomfortable with


I usually don't hang around people I am uncomfortable with. but...

They always point me towards the ladies room. Even long before I knew I was transsexual.
I was told that I was "trying to get attention" by one school administrator because I dress funny.
I am constantly referred to as "that chick is a dude" at high school.
I really do not listen to people at school or elsewhere so...


Aside from that I really do not hang out with many other people... so...


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