Sexual morality and Organized Religion

Post Reply New Topic

Sex: what do people with Aspergers need to know?

Why does the article claim that people with Asperger need to follow organized religion? Has it been the best source of sexual morality the world has ever seen? I'd rather follow whatever science has to say about sex.

That's not actually what the article says.

So, what they are saying is that it is a good thing for someone with AS to have an organized code of morality, and that organized religion and philosophy both provide that. They also mention the importance of having a good mentor.

The point isn't that they are saying that Aspies need religion (though I'd agree with that statement--because I think everyone needs religion, though not because Aspies need it any more than anyone else). They are saying that it is easier for an organized, concrete thinker to make moral choices when he knows exactly what he believes and has written it down and defined it carefully beforehand.

Well, to be fair the article mentions 'organized religion' within the context of the possible need in a person with AS for some organized code of ethics - whether that be religious or philosophical or otherwise.

What I find more disturbing is the article's attempt to link the pedophilic tendencies of an AS author who writes on the subject of Aspergers with some sort of greater deficit in sex education amongst AS individuals. As if having AS was the reason for this man's sexual deviancy. It couldn't be that sexual education amongst the general populace is just laughably awful - it obviously had something to do with that pesky moral compass that all of us AS individuals lack!

Yeah, I don't get that. All the Aspies I've met had quite intact moral compasses. I'm sure there are some who lack them; but then, there are NTs who do, too.

I don't really think that sex ed would stop pedophilia from developing, though. Unwanted pregnancy and STDs, yes, but pedophilia seems to develop on its own most of the time.

Exactly. It's just a very odd, offensive article.

How come they don't mention science? There has been a lot of research over what's responsible sex (think condoms). Quite frankly organized religion doesn't cut it for me at all, specially in matters of sex.

And then thee's Michael Jackson. He probably had Aspergers, and let's face it, he was more infantile than pedophile.

I dont really find the article offensive. As for some sorta moral code that roots from a religion, ehh well the author is religious. Her book aspergirls alluded to religion a lot which I really didnt care for. I dont think you need the moral code to root from a religion. But sometimes its hard to develop an appropriete moral code till you've had some experience of what works for you and what doesnt. I mean many NTs experiment a lot as teens and young adults. I went thru that stage during college. I see her point, aspies might not always go thru those stages, so they need a concrete personal moral code.

But I think the spectrum, NT mentor can work. But its like, where would you find them, thats the real question. I've learned plenty about the way a guys mind works thankfully thru an online guy friend. I'm slowly figuring out this dating thing thru trial and error.

i didn't read the article but i do know that the awnser to any moral question can only be awnsered then and there. as in should i bone this girl should only be awsnered at the moment that you could bone her.

I wouldn't be able to follow any organized religion. I don't need or want any outside source telling me I need to live my life a certain way or I'm bad or evil. Plus I wouldn't be able to understand how to pick which rules of the religion that are ok to ignore. To me it seems like many religious people don't even really follow their religion or live by it's rules. (example, I have catholic friends that use birth control)

Disclaimer: I'm fine with people having whatever religion they want to have even if I don't agree with it as long as they don't expect me to have or live with it too. I'm athiest.

This is what I think of the article. It gives excellent advice and a "todo-list" when it comes to dating, sex and how one should evolve his/her understanding of these subjects in a healthy and stable manner.

BUT (and that's one big but) I really feel this sort of advice fits ANYONE, and EVERYBODY should follow it. I don't understand why the article builds up such a fantastic framework for developing proper understanding of intimate relationships, BUT then aim it specifically at us with AS as if we are some big bunch of whack jobs!

I do find that part offensive, yes.

To the point: I'm 28, have an AS diagnosis and am a virgin. Recently I've been thinking a lot about getting it over with, meaning dating and sex. But even I if say it like that, I feel I've managed to develop a very good "plan" and way of thinking for this that will be very beneficial to both me and whoever I get the fortune to spend my time with (for a short or much longer duration perhaps).

I do understand that there are many aspects of the dating and sex that I do not understand. But WOOOW, now my AS-mechanics kick in and all they wanna do is to google and "youtube" it to collect all necessary information about how to do the dating and sex in a good way. And not only that, but also how to care for and give warmth to the partner of choice.

See!? We with AS can potentially have a very good strength for solving this problem, we collect info when the time calls for it!

But you know what? I still don't feel I need to google and youtube it. I feel the inner mechanics of my way of thinking and coming to conclusion from given information has helped me tremendously.

What the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about this girl that I've been spending (platonic) time with at the psychiatric clinic where I've been for more than 6 weeks due to a nervous breakdown I had. Now all the signals she emits, from what she says to her body language, tells me that she very very much likes me.

And I strongly feel I learned how to manage this relationship with her and the time we spend together "on the go" simply by thinking step by step!

See? People with AS may not really know on a natural level how to socialize... but they sure as hell can figure it out!

These are my thoughts...

//Arash

I agree that the article doesn't really advocate organised religion as the only way, and that the link between one Aspie getting busted for child porn and the need for sex education for Aspies is a feeble link.

I have rather mixed views on sexual morality as handed down by religion. One common (though not universal) religious theme seems to have been that there's something dirty about sex generally, and particularly that there's something dirty about women who put it about too much. Although as a man I'd feel less personally threatened if women were generally more chaste and sexually loyal than they are these days, the idea of conning them all into thinking that there's something filthy about them doesn't seem like a very wholesome way to go.

I agree that science is a better way to go here. For me, it will never be good enough for anybody to say "you must do this because that's the way the lord wants it." Sorry, but it has to make sense or I'm not playing. I think one of the biggest mistakes the major religions have made was to underestimate people in that way, to imagine that people wouldn't think for themselves one day. I'll consider obeying any rule you like, but if that rule costs me anything, I'm entitled to an intelligent explanation about how the good is expected to outweigh the bad.

Religion's have many examples of perverted sexual drives.

Technically, peeps should only have sex when they want a baby. Maybe only a few dozen times in a lifetime/marriage.....

Your just setting yourself up for guilt and shame

The 10 commandments doesn't appear to be a bad set of rules, but it has been revised somewhat. It asks everyone not to work on the sabbath. In an older version than the one used today, 'everyone' was more specific and included - you, your wife, your children, your livestock, your SLAVE! .... Surely one of the commandments should be 'Thou must not keep any slaves'? Also, with all these revisons going on, how do we know it's anything like the original, or does the origin not matter when we're just looking for a set of rules?

The other problem with most religions is that they require you to believe and trust wholeheartedly, without too many questions.
Why must I do/not do X? Because the good book says so.
Who wrote the good book? God did, via his prophets on earth.
How do you know that? I don't know, stop asking so many questions.

And then you have to question the morality of some religions. Some religions frown on homosexuality. So where does that leave the moral compass of a gay person, trying to lead a good life? I suppose they'd have to find a religion that accepts them, but it might frown upon some other thing, e.g. shaving.

I'm speaking as someone raised as a Catholic, went to a Catholic school, attended Mass every Sunday, until my twenties. But, when I die, I expect a humanist funeral.

It sounds a lot like this:

(1) Atheism is caused by Asperger Syndrome.

(2) Atheists lack morals = Aspeger People Lack Morals.

(3) Solution: turn to organized religion.

This logic is so flawed that it hurts my brain....

Why