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knockoutdropper
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13 Dec 2011, 9:20 pm

I work at a bookstore and recently a woman came in with a kid in a stroller and said she needed books on Asperger's Syndrome. So I took her back to the section that has books on Children With Special Needs. She started talking about how she thinks her son, who looked like 2- or 3-ish, has Asperger's Syndrome because he used to talk a lot but recently stopped talking. (He was humming the whole time I helped her.) She also said that her husband's brother or something had Asperger's Syndrome and his family couldn't even take him out in public without him making a scene. So she thought maybe her kid had Asperger's Syndrome but she was gonna read up on it and nip it in the bud, I guess.
I wanted to say "that sounds more like regular Autism to me" but I'm pretty sure that would be considered overstepping my bounds as a sales representative, so instead I just told her that the Attwood book was a good overview of Asperger's Syndrome. I guess she'll figure it out.



MountainLaurel
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13 Dec 2011, 9:27 pm

Quote:
I wanted to say "that sounds more like regular Autism to me" but I'm pretty sure that would be considered overstepping my bounds as a sales representative

Yep, I think you made the wise choice. She does need to figure it out and had she been offended by your (self censored) comment and complained, you may have been reprimanded by the manager.



MrJosh
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13 Dec 2011, 9:32 pm

Yeah, you made the right decision. I would perhaps have suggested this forum, in addition to the book reccomendation though.

I definitely would never give my opinion on the subject to her because that couldhave lead to many concequencies.



CockneyRebel
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13 Dec 2011, 9:34 pm

You've made the right decision to keep your mouth shut. The mother will learn in her own good time that she can't nip it in the bud and that being on the spectrum is nothing to be ashamed of.


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Lucywlf
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13 Dec 2011, 10:09 pm

You definitely made the right decision and kudos for having the self-restraint to edit yourself.



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13 Dec 2011, 10:18 pm

Nipping something in the bud does sound like a brain transplant to me. Or decapitation in advance of a head + brain transplant. Which is what this mother wants for her child, it seems.



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13 Dec 2011, 11:10 pm

You did the right thing. She asked for a book. She told you why, but that's not important. Even if her assessment is wrong, she still wants that book. If you had suggested another, you might not have made the sale. Where things go from here is not your problem.


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knockoutdropper
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14 Dec 2011, 3:21 pm

Truthfully, it was a near thing. I think I said something like "Well, actually,..... [my brain: 'wait - don't say that!!'] ..... actually, this is probably the most comprehensive book we have right now on Asperger's Syndrome, and it's my personal favorite!" [my brain: 'nice save.'] It was kind of an unusual situation because ordinarily I wouldn't have stopped myself in time.

Like one time I DID tell a customer I thought her son might have Asperger's Syndrome because she said he was "obsessed" with some famous ship - I can't remember which but I think it was the first metal military ship and it was involved in the Civil War, or something (I'm sure someone here specializes in military ships and knows which one I'm referring to) - anyway when his mother asked him about it he got up and bounced, on his toes, over to us and sure enough he went on about this boat for 5 solid minutes before his mother interrupted to tell him we'd heard enough about the ship for now and to go back to whatever he was doing. And, she said he went to a Montessori school where they let him relate as much as he wanted to the ship, like he did math problems about this ship and wrote stories about it for English and did a social studies project where he built a model of it, and so on. Anyway then I tried to explain to her that I really didn't mean to imply I thought there's something wrong w/her kid and she should take him to a doctor right this second, but just that if things got difficult for him later in school that could be why, and how being totally misunderstood by teachers and mocked by peers everyday for years can turn a bright, exuberant little kid into a bitter, anxiety-plagued, self-destructive adolescent [eg, ME], and I hated to think of that happening to any other kid.....followed by, "I'm sorry, this is so awkward, please don't tell my manager." (To her credit she didn't, and was very polite throughout the whole thing.) I think it was the memory of that event that caused my wait-don't-say-that! response to kick in so fast in this most recent situation.



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14 Dec 2011, 3:37 pm

Seems more like "Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy" to me, but I am not an appropriately trained and licensed mental-health professional, so what do I know?



Last edited by Fnord on 14 Dec 2011, 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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14 Dec 2011, 3:38 pm

knockoutdropper wrote:
I work at a bookstore and recently a woman came in with a kid in a stroller and said she needed books on Asperger's Syndrome. So I took her back to the section that has books on Children With Special Needs. She started talking about how she thinks her son, who looked like 2- or 3-ish, has Asperger's Syndrome because he used to talk a lot but recently stopped talking. (He was humming the whole time I helped her.) She also said that her husband's brother or something had Asperger's Syndrome and his family couldn't even take him out in public without him making a scene. So she thought maybe her kid had Asperger's Syndrome but she was gonna read up on it and nip it in the bud, I guess.
I wanted to say "that sounds more like regular Autism to me" but I'm pretty sure that would be considered overstepping my bounds as a sales representative, so instead I just told her that the Attwood book was a good overview of Asperger's Syndrome. I guess she'll figure it out.
It was a good decision not to say anything to that woman. She might have begun to argue with you, saying stuff like, "what makes you an expert?!".



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14 Dec 2011, 3:58 pm

It's good you didn't say it. I don't know if she would have gotten defensive or been thankful for your opinion. I learned at my old jobs to never mess with customers because oh boy they can be bullies because they are too sensitive so they will lie to the manager about you to get you into trouble. You can't give them suggestions or even correct them and I learned it's better to not even have a chat with them because I could end up saying the wrong things to them. Just do as they say and you will be good no matter how wrong they are. If a customer makes a mistake, act like it's your own fault and your own mistake you did and correct it than pointing out to them they did it and why. I guess that is where the phrase comes from, "the customer is always right." :roll:

Most parents get offended when you suggest to them what disability their kid may have. I sure learned that online after having it happen to me a few times. Then I got the hint.

I bet if the mother reads on autism spectrum disorders, she may figure out her son has autism than AS. I guess some people don't know the difference between autism and AS so they get confused and I bet the mother was confused.