'Watch your tone!'

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To my understanding, people on the spectrum can have an unusual way of speaking (monotone, unusual rate of speaking, wild inflection of tone, etc). Correct me if I'm wrong about that.

Can someone give me some examples of what those ways of speaking would sound like?

I'm often in situations where people believe me to be angry, when I'm actually not, because of a 'tone' that I am using, that I can't hear in my voice. I am also told I talk waaaaaay too fast, or I mumble or talk too loud or quietly. Also I've been told that the way I talk makes me seem like a know-it-all.
It's really frustrating because while I understand that sometimes I need to adjust my vocal volume or rate of talking when people point it out to me, I don't know how to change my voice tone to make it seem like I'm not angry/upset or seeming like a know-it-all, because I don't even hear what they hear in my voice. Also, sometimes I can't help but mumble because my voice turns really raspy sometimes... it comes and goes.

So I'm curious to see if this is something people on the spectrum relate with at all, and if they do, then maybe I could get some help figuring out what 'unusual' ways of talking sound like, so if I am using an unusual tone I could correct myself (or at least try).

I hear this all the time, but I can never tell what was wrong about the way I was talking, so it's hard for me to cite examples.

I used to get beaten for this, and it never made any sense to me.

I am not monotone but I do have a very loud voice (sound like I am shouting sometimes when I am not) and I can talk very quickly but I do not know if that is related to the spectrum or not. It is just the way I have always spoken.

Then we're all on the same page, at least. Lol.

I've always come off as arrogant to people and I've lost many friendships because of this. I've always found it preposterous that the tone of my voice could override the context of my what I'm saying and any explanation afterwards I give for my tone.

As for pitch and what not I have found myself lowering and raising my voice randomly from sentence to sentence especially when I'm exciting or hyper. Maybe I'm just pretending to understand normal inflection and I'm flailing about in essence?

My tone has been pointed out to me in this way on many occasions, so often that I have had opportunity to discuss 'my tone'. One thing to note, it was not always the sound quality of my voice being referred to, but that I was not showing deference.

When I was younger, my mother often said I had to watch my tone of voice. I a . I don't remember actively trying to improve on this, but she stopped. I'm not sure I ever understood fully what she meant, but then, it was a while ago. She also said, at around the same time, that I should look at her in the eyes. I never knowingly corrected that either, and she also stopped complaining. So I guess it's possible she just surrendered, or otherwise that I didn't notice getting better.

I often speak too loud in public (or in general, probably). That, I do notice. I don't remember being clearly told I was speaking loud, at least personnally (people have told me and a friend we were speaking loudly, for example, but not me specifically).

I don't think I have a monotone voice, except probably when I'm anxious, because, well... I'm anxious. However, my speaking speed varies between extremely fast and hesitating internally every three words, but saying these three words extremely fast too. Although I won't speak fast when I'm anxious, I am not necessarly anxious if I speak slowly.

I'm accused of speaking in a monotone ALL the time. To me, I sound fine and just have a masculine way of speaking.

This has been a problem for me my entire life. People think I'm angry or upset when I'm not, based on my tone of voice, and I have been accused of being arrogant, snotty, disrespectful, and mean because of it. People have told me that they thought I hated them because of my tone of voice when I spoke to them ( and in some cases, I barely even knew them). I have gotten trouble with employers, teachers, family, and friends because of it. I have no idea of what my tone of voice is saying, apparently. I know when I have heard my recorded voice played back, I have been astonished because it sounds nothing like what I hear when I am speaking. I hope that I don't really sound that way to other people; it sounds awful. I don't think it does because people have commented on what a cool and unique voice I have, that I should do radio. It's just weird that I hear it so differently.

I've also have had this problem my whole life but it was only recently I connected the dots to Aspergers... My girlfriend and friends point it out all the time and I fix it until I take my mind off it again. I naturally talk in a deep, monotone voice, very quickly (sometimes I mumble), often loud and with little change in tone throughout a conversation. And I work in sales! You can see how that could be a huge issue...

To fix this problem though, I need to be concious of my voice throughout the conversation and make adjustments conciously based on how most NT's speech flow progresses (... adjusting my volume, tone, speed...). It takes alot of energy on top of everything else. I find myself completely exhausted at the end of the day from mental social strain, without doing any labour.

"Can have..."

There's the key words right there. Autistics can have monotone voices, but not all of us do, and not all people with monotone speech are on the spectrum. There are no absolutes on the spectrum.

Take a look at this video. This guy has obviously learned some inflections, but you can tell he's not that great at them, and probably did speak in monotone when he was younger. You can still hear monotone from time to time in his speech.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSactvpsla0[/youtube]

Yeah, I'm told that all the time, also that I am talking too loud and giving the person a headache. Maybe I should go back to "talking like a robot".

My girlfriend complains that I begin talking like a robot whenever I'm mad. I just see it as making sure to pick the proper words and enunciate them so my point can be most easily understood. Sadly, this doesn't seem to work very well.

Other than that, I've been told I have a very expressive voice.

My voice is very expressive, but I've noticed it becomes much more flatline when I'm stressed or on the verge of an emotional meltdown.
Can totally identify with being told I sound like a know-it-all.

It is very hard when people make up inner emotional states or feelings and assign them to you, as opposed to listening to the content of what you're saying.