Stuck In Limbo....

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Do you ever feel as if you have too many deficiencies to be able to cope with living a normal life, but not enough for anyone to make adjustments for you and provide support and help?

It's too difficult for me to have this level of disability. I'd rather either have a more severe form and actually be helped, or have none at all and function properly.

It may seem like I'm trying to avoid all responsibility here but I feel a a huge sense of being trapped.

It just sucks being at this in-between stage with people telling me I've just got to cope.

Meh.

^What he said.

I've always avoided being helped though, and anyone showing any awareness of any problem I have would always piss me off and I insist I'm fine. But I honestly don't know how I'd do when living independently and can easily seeing myself living in mess and having my mum or someone check up one me all the time.

^What she said.

This could end up getting stuck in a loop.

This is -exactly- how I feel, in my life. Because on the outside I don't appear to have any sort of deficits, when someone sees me not doing something they think I can/should, the assumption is that I'm being lazy, forgetful, rebellious, etc. It leads to misplaced frustration. Someone who acts normal but functions poorly is hard to tell from someone who is normal and just doesn't care to the untrained eye, so people will just have to go on your word (or the word of swomeone who understands). If they don't believe it, it only adds to the problem.

If only intelligence/willpower was the determining factor of the functioning capacity of a person. Sigh.

yeah

Yes.
My psychologist decided, that I definately need financial support, because I cannot provide it and I need more attendence/ psychological and general support. Had to do a medical test, but I am able to wash myself and brush my teeth, so it is denied.

Haughhh! Yes!

This is exactly the same problem I have. I am too high-functioning to be able to receive the help I need, but not high-functioning enough to be able to get the job I want. Plus I have anxiety disorder and social phobia, which don't help matters either.
I have just about got counselling, but it's not really for people with disabilities. It's more for people with marriage problems, or other problems like that. But this is all the help I can get, because the doctor has referred me so many times to all different kinds of Adult Disability Services, but I have been turned down, or they make excuses. I really wanted to try CBT, and I've been up the doctors to ask to get referred, but he just said there is no CBT in this area, and reccommended me to a CBT on the internet. But I don't think that would help me because I'd prefer to talk to somebody about it so that it can be more personal.... OK, I'm rambling on here, but it's just not fair. I don't like feeling like I'm sitting on the line between NT and Autism. I just wish I was either one or the other.

I also have too little of a disability to receive much help, but too much to function independently. It does feel, at times, like it would be better to be more disabled so I could get help with living on my own instead of having people assume I'm just lazy. I would obviously prefer no disability, but if I have to have a disability then I wish it was more visible to the people I need to help me.

It's also horrible when you're too self-aware. I have more self-awareness than the average person, which is no good because each time I do stupid embarrassing things I get more embarrassed and feel more ashamed, thus give off the wrong body language all the time...... It's all a vicious circle.

I just wish I was an average NT with average self-awareness and knew more how to subconsciously act normal, or a severe non-NT with no self-awareness and was just in a completely different world and never had irrational thoughts about what other people think of me and so on.

Yep. I often wish I was even more f**ked up, horrible as that sounds.

I've told people I felt this way before they came down harder on me. Told me I was lazy and whining. Although I still feel that way now wishing I wasn't as high functioning. That way I wouldn't even have to know how messed up my life is.

I can function but at a cost, and the cost is fatigue and muddle-headedness. I don't even bother with trying to socialize anymore. It's more about getting things done and paying the bills. I have a choice of trying to be more normal and flaming out, or being "lazy" and "unambitious" and having a little peace of mind.

That's the story of my life. I was born with a very rare low vision disorder. I'm extremely nearsighted, have some colorblindness & I'm close to being legally blind. My vision disorder was not identified till my senior year of high-school because the vision quacks thought I was lying about glasses not helping me. I didn't get the assistance or accommodations with school that blind kids would of had so school was a major struggle for me sense a large amount of learning is visual. I don't qualify for any assistance or help as an adult that blind people could get like for example when I was working I could of got a bigger tax break if I was considered blind but I'm not entitled to that type of assistance sense I'm not legally blind except I'm on disability but that's partly due to my combination of my other problems & issues like Aspergers

Yeah.

I feel that way every day.